心灵的旷野

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走出心灵的旷野

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旷野里面最大的问题是什么?没有水、没有粮!我们心灵的旷野,也是一样。

 

文/张路加

 

“你幸福吗?”这是前些年流行的一个问题,央视曾派很多记者到街头巷尾就此做采访。

 

我们幸福吗?

 

对此,网上倒是有一段“神”回答:

问:你幸福么?答:我姓福啊!

问:你满足么?答:我满族啊!

问:你为什么幸福呢?答:因为我爸姓福啊!

问:为什么你爸幸福,你就幸福呢?答:因为我是我爸亲生的啊!

这当然是中国式的幽默。不过,从一个侧面也反映出,要回答这个问题不那么容易。其实,我们每个人都大可问自己:“我幸福吗?”或许大部分时候,答案也不那么肯定。那么,为什么我们幸福不起来,快乐不起来?哪里出了问题?

一方面,现在许多人感觉钱比以前多了,住的房子也大了,买上车了,也很容易拿个护照出国旅游了;但另一方面,许多人却觉得,和以前相比,幸福感并没怎么提升。

数字不会说谎,每年一度的联合国“幸福指数调查”,中国在一百多个国家中,始终徘徊在八、九十名开外,似乎也印证着,“幸福度”和国民生产总值(GDP)之间没有必然的正比关系,而坊间到处听见的“郁闷、纠结、寂寞、崩溃”这些词汇,则从另一个侧面反映出,“幸福”远不是我们想象的那么容易获得。

从2014年马航MH370号航班的莫名失踪起,“失联”这个词就不断出现在各种媒体上。其实,我们现在的心灵状态,用“失联”来描述也非常贴切。我们的心灵世界,好像身处旷野、沙漠里面——我们感觉失联了。多少时候,我们感觉找不到路,找不到光,找不到那个信号。

哪里出了问题?怎么能够真正走出心灵的旷野?谁又能带我们走出心灵的旷野?

 

  旷野独行客

 

圣经新约《使徒行传》第8章提到,有一位行走在旷野中的埃塞俄比亚人。他在那个从耶路撒冷下迦萨的旷野里,正感觉前路的迷茫、心灵的饥渴,有诸多的思索。

就在这些纠结中,上帝亲自借着一位基督徒,向他讲解基督耶稣的救恩,阐明福音。于是,他如梦初醒,欣然领受所听见的福音,归信了基督,从此“欢欢喜喜”地走前面的道路。不但个人的出路找到了,而且还藉着福音,给他的同胞和民族,甚至整个非洲带来了极大的祝福。

这段圣经所描述的,其实也是你我许多人共同的人生经历。就是如何能真正地走出人生的旷野,走出心灵的旷野。我们的人生与这位埃塞俄比亚人何等相似,可见,他有相当广泛的代表性。无论我们拥有多少物质财富和权力,我们还是行走在“旷野”里面。

圣经特别说,从耶路撒冷下迦萨的路,那路是旷野(参《使徒行传》8:26)。当然,旷野不但是地理上的一个事实,我相信,那个埃塞俄比亚人,他的内心此时也如同“旷野”一样——试图明白真理而不得其门而入。这个人不但位高权重,事实上,他也非常渴慕真理,盼望真正获得人生的真道,而走出心灵的旷野。

今天,多少人也行走在心灵的旷野中。那里遍地荆棘,他们不堪重负,虽终日辛劳忙碌,却不知人生意义为何、人生路在何方!也常觉得心灵里面的寂寞和孤单。所以,在这个埃塞俄比亚人身上,好像看见今天我们许多人的心灵缩影。

 

  生命本有缺陷

 

透过圣经的描述来看,这个埃塞俄比亚人的人生似乎相当成功:

第一,他是个有大权的太监:一人之下,万人之上,上面就是那个干大基女王,显然他位高权重;第二,他不单有权,而且有钱。因为他统管整个国家的银库。这两样,不正是今天人们判断一个人成功与否最重要的指标吗?

但问题来了,如果权与钱真能使人快乐幸福,那个埃塞俄比亚人为什么还要千里迢迢去耶路撒冷“寻道”呢?因此,不难得出一个结论:他感觉心灵空虚,心里没有满足感。显然,他发现,心灵里面的问题,不是钱跟权能解决的,所以,他才会费尽辛苦,从埃塞俄比亚赶往耶路撒冷。

此外,圣经还意味深长地提到了第三点:这人是一个“太监”,一个身体上有缺陷的人。其实,看看我们自己,会发现,我们的人生(身体和生命)有一种缺陷,好像与生俱来,挥之不去——所谓“生、老、病、死”。我们无论是谁,总脱离不了这种缺陷,都走在这条路上。我们的心灵也是如此,我们曾经追求做一个“高尚的人、纯粹的人、一个脱离了低级趣味的人”,但是真能做到吗?

我们曾经追求崇高,但为什么眨眼间,面对钱、权,我们还是会身不由己,为五斗米折腰?会失去人生的理想?失去知识分子应该有的那一点点清高?当我们真的面对诱惑、面对情欲的时候,忽然间会发现,其实我们的人性多么软弱和充满缺陷。当然,我们生命最大的缺陷就是死亡。

这可以说是人生最深的悲哀:被死亡的阴影笼罩着整个人生。这真的很滑稽:我们似乎无法停止追求,想要拥有一切,但到头来却什么都没抓住,竟然一无所有!死亡最后吞灭的,不仅是我们的身体,也包括我们一切的心灵的追求:理想、目标、情操、意义,这是多么荒唐又滑稽的人生!

 

外求本是徒然

 

我们不甘心束手待毙,就在各种宗教哲学中去寻找出路,好像那位埃塞俄比亚人一样。他千里迢迢去往耶路撒冷,因为那里有当时最大的圣殿,是远近驰名的犹太教圣地,也有千年的宗教典籍旧约圣经。他当然听说了这些,所以哪怕路途遥远,且要经过旷野,也没关系,他觉得自己反正有钱、有时间、够虔诚,不管多远,去寻找就是了。

今天,不也有许多人如此寻道吗?他们热衷于用自己的办法去找各种宗教,在求神拜佛、游历庙宇、找大师开悟当中寻找人生的意义和出路。但事实是,他们的人生仍然充满叹息,好像还在“旷野”中打转。

旷野里面最大的问题是什么?没有水、没有粮!我们心灵的旷野,也是一样。多少人感觉到莫名的干渴和饥饿,却像那位太监一样,发出疑问:这位救主到底是谁?(参《使徒行传》8:34)可见,我们真正的问题,是用人的办法去到处寻觅“救世主”,去寻找人生的出路。但是,若不接受来自天外的启示,我们又岂能找到呢?这就好像我们试图要抓着自己的头发,把自己从地上拔起来一样,根本是徒劳无功!

 

    谦卑就能蒙福

 

对此,上帝完全知道。主的使者对腓利说“你去,到旷野去!”(参《使徒行传》8:26)原来,有一位在乎我们的上帝,他知道我们内心最深的需要,知道我们内心的忧伤、无奈与沉重。

造我们生命的那一位,他在乎我们,他知道,只要我们谦卑下来,就能够看见那位奇妙的救主。那位埃塞俄比亚人的谦卑成了他蒙福的起点。当腓利跟他讲道的时候,他没有拒人千里之外,反而邀请腓利上车同坐,并且留意倾听腓利向他的讲解。

在人类的历史里面,上帝借着他所写下来的话提醒我们未来要发生的事情。在旧约时代,最大的预言就是弥赛亚,即上帝所派来的拯救者。那位埃塞俄比亚人所念的,正是旧约中预言弥赛亚最详细的那卷书——《以赛亚书》。

当这个太监愿意留心倾听,他就明白了,耶稣实在就是上帝所差来的弥赛亚,他心灵的眼睛一旦打开,就不难发现,人类的历史正照着上帝所启示和预言的在进行:那位弥赛亚——拿撒勒人耶稣,完全照着上帝的旨意,刚刚在十字架上完成了救赎大工!当圣灵在他心里做工时,他立刻就接受了主,并愿意藉着洗礼,将这样的认信公开地见证出来。

于是,一颗流浪的心,在那一刻找到了真正的归宿。那种信主后真实的平安,和由此所带来的喜悦,圣经在这里用“就欢欢喜喜地走路”(参《使徒行传》8:39)将之描述出来。

 

两种人生写照

 

“看哪,这里有水,我受洗有什么妨碍呢?”(参《使徒行传》8:36)当一个人愿意凭着信心走这条信仰之路时,会发现,你不再是孤独一人在行走,而是有圣灵内住在心中,有以马内利的上帝与你同行。所以,这个埃塞俄比亚人,从水里上来后,会感觉有种喜乐是无以伦比的,他自然就“欢欢喜喜”地继续前行。

由此,我想到圣经中一个与此对比强烈的故事:一个少年人,既当官,又是个大财主,好像也很虔诚,他跑到耶稣跟前说:“夫子呀,我怎么能得永生?”耶稣告诉他要得永生,先要去变卖一切,然后来跟从自己,那就是永生。结果,他一听,就“忧忧愁愁”地走了(参《马可福音》10:17-22)。

多么可惜啊!“永生”明明就在他眼前——跟从那位有永恒生命的主耶稣,他却轻易地放弃了,与之失之交臂!那位少年人不只是当时“忧忧愁愁”地走了,他之后的人生路,想必也只有“忧忧愁愁”地在人生的旷野中打转,直到走进生命的尽头。

这两幅图画,不正是我们人生的两种写照吗?我们前面的路到底要怎样走呢?是继续行走在心灵的旷野中,还是打开心灵的耳朵,聆听上帝借着他的圣言所传达的福音?我们要为自己仔细思想,怎么能活出一个不再“失联”的生命。身体的死亡并不可怕,真正可怕的是心灵的死亡,真正的“失联”是人无法找到生命的源头所在。

但愿当我们凝视蔚蓝天空的时候,我们能深知基督的救赎和他的大爱永不会失落;当我们俯视浩瀚大海的时候,能够确信来自于日光之上的永恒盼望,它永不会沉没!

 

编注:本文乃沈蓓根据作者讲道录音听打,再经编辑及作者删改而成。

 

作者来自上海现居美国,现为“播种者国际协会”中国事工部负责人。

http://ocfuyin.org/63-2-32-124-22-18-21-24-21-20-20-22-22-22-4-29-12

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