1 行李/Luggage
A businessman was having a tough time lugging his lumpy, oversized travel bag onto the plane. Helped by the flight attendant, he finally managed to stuff it in the overhead bin. "Do you always carry such heavy luggage?" she sighed.
"No more," the man said. "Next time, I'm hiding in the bag, and my partner can buy the ticket!"
一个商人拖着他那鼓鼓囊囊的特大号旅行袋登上飞机，真够费劲的。 在一位机务乘员的帮助下， 他终于设法将旅行袋塞进了头顶上的行李箱。“您总是携带这么重的行李？”她叹息道。
“再也不会了，”那人说道，“下次，我待在旅行袋内，我的同伴买票！”
2 弄巧成拙/It was made worse
A man went to London to visit a friend. He stayed far longer than was expected. A week passed, he still made no attempt to leave.
At last his friend gave him a gentle hint: "Don't you think that your wife and children would miss you?" But beyond expectation the man's answer was: "Oh, thank you very much. It's most kind of you. I'll send for them."
有个人到伦敦去看望一个朋友。他逗留的时间比预期的长很多。一个星期过去了，他还没打算离去。
最后他的朋友很温柔地暗示他说：“你不觉得你的妻子和孩子在家里会想念你吗？”不料这个人的回答是：“啊，非常感谢你。你真是太好心了，我就把他们叫来吧。”
3 诊疗时间/Hours of consultation
It was half pass three. The doctor just lay down to have a nap when he heard a loud knock on the door. He got up and asked the man at the door: "What is it?"
"I've been bitten by a dog," said the man painfully.
"Well, don't you know that my hours of consultation are between twelve and three?" said the doctor unpleasantly.
"I know," groaned the man, "but that confounded dog didn't know, it bit me at twenty past three."
下午三点半钟时，医生刚刚躺下想小睡一会儿，就听到有人大声敲门。他起身问门口的人：“什么事呀？”
门口那个人痛苦地说：“我被狗咬了。”
医生很不高兴地说：“哦，你不知道我诊病的时间是12点到3点吗？”
那个人呻吟着说：“我知道，可是那只该死的狗不知道。它在3点20分咬了我。”
4 一个小男孩的年龄/A little boy's age
One day a minister went to visit a home in his new parish.
A little boy was playing in the living room. Before his mother came downstairs to greet the visitor, the minister cordially asked the boy, "How old are you, my little man?"
"I am five at home, six in school, and four on the cars," replied the boy frankly.
有一天，一位牧师去访问他的新教区里的一户人家。
一个小男孩正在客厅里玩。在他母亲下楼来招待客人之前，牧师很亲切地问他：“小家伙，你几岁啦？”
男孩很坦率地回答说：“在家里5岁，在学校里6岁，在电车上是4岁。”
5 我会改一个名字/I'll Change My Name
At the age of 16, Eddie decided to leave home and join a theater company. His father was appalled, "A son of mine on the stage? It's a disgrace!" he wailed. "What if the neighbors find out?"
"I'll change my name," the comic-to-be volunteered.
"Change your name!" His father screamed. "What if you're a success? How will the neighbors know it's my son?"
埃迪十六岁了，他决定离开家去参加一个剧团。他的爸爸气坏了。 “让我的儿子上舞台演戏？真丢脸！”他大叫道，“邻居们知道了怎么想？”
“我会改一个名字。”这位未来的滑稽演员主动提出。
“改名字！”他爸爸喊叫着，“那如果你出了名怎么办？怎么让邻居们知道你就是我的儿子呢？”
6 戒酒演讲/Lecture on Giving up Drinking
A competition which subject is on giving up drinking is proceeding. One of lecturers says excitedly, " Alcohol can break down conjugal relation, even cause your wife to leave you… "
A man shouts out at the news, "Give me another bottle of Brandy."
以戒酒为主题的演讲比赛正在进行，一个演讲者动情地说：“酒精可以破坏夫妻关系，甚至导致妻子离开自己的丈夫……”
听到这一个男人大声喊：“再来一瓶白兰地!”
