1 守财奴/The miser and his gold
Once upon a time there was a miser. He hid his gold under a tree. Every week he used to dig it up.
One night a robber stole all the gold. When the miser came again, he found nothing but an empty hole.
He was surprised, and then burst into tears. All the neighbors gathered around him.
He told them how he used to come and visit his gold.
"Did you ever take any of it out?" asked one of them. "No," he said, "I only came to look at it." "Then come again and look at the hole," said the neighbor, "it will be the same as looking at the gold."
从前，有个守财奴。他将他的金块藏到一棵树下，每周他都去把它挖出来看看。
一天晚上，一个小偷挖走了所有的金块。 守财奴再来查看时，发现除了一个空洞什么都没有了。
守财奴非常惊讶，然后便捶胸痛哭。哭声引来了所有的邻居。
他告诉他们他怎样常来这里看他的金块。
问明了原因后，一个邻居问：“你使用过这些金块吗?” “没用过，” 他说，“我只是时常来看看。”“那么，以后再来看这个洞，”邻居说，“结果就跟以前只看金块时一样。”
2 因祸得福
A man was careless, always breaking something. He had been suffering from unemployment for months.
At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.
The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."
有一个人很粗心，老是打烂东西。他已失业好几个月了。
最后他在一个瓷器店找到了一个工作。可是才干了几天，他就打烂了一个很大的花瓶。
经理把他叫到办公室去，告诉他每个星期都要扣他的工钱，直到赔偿够了为止。他就问：“那个花瓶值多少钱?”经理说：“值500美元。”他很高兴地说：“啊!太妙了，我真高兴，终于有个稳定的工作啦。”
3 你叫啥名？/What is your name?
A:what is your name? 你叫啥名?
B:Hu胡(谐音:谁)
A:you~你
B:Hu~胡
A:Who?谁?
B:yes, I am~是，我就是
A:I want to know your name我只是想知道你的名字
B:Hu胡啊
A:You!你!
B:Yes, my name是啊，我的名字啊
A:So tell me about it那就告诉我啊
B:Hu!胡!
A:You! What is your name!? 你!你叫啥名?!
B:Hu is my name!我就叫胡。
4 五点钟以后不收瓶子/No Bottles Accepted After Five O'clock
One day near closing time at 6:30, four young children arrived with bottles. Wanting to put a stop to this habit, I sternly asked each child if he was aware of the rules. Three shook their heads no, but the youngest said he knew. "Why then." I asked, "have you brought me these bottles?"
"I can't tell time yet." He said.
快到六点半下班的时候，四个孩子来退瓶子。为了制止他们的这个习惯，我严肃地问每个孩子是否知道我们的规定。其中三个孩子都摇头表示不知道。只有那个最小的说他知道。“那你为什么还在这个时间来退瓶子呢?”我问他。
“我还不认识表呢!”他说。
5 他的错
Billy: "Mother, Bobby broke a window."
Mother: "How did he do it?"
Billy: "I threw a rock at him and he ducked."
比利：“妈妈，波比打坏了窗户的玻璃。”
妈妈：“他怎么打的？”
比利：“我向他扔石头，他躲开了。”
6 不要告诉他
Two twins went to the kindergarten. “Who's the elder and who's the younger one?” asked a nurse. One of them winked and said，“Elder brother，don't tell her.”
两个双胞胎走进幼儿园。“你们两个谁大谁小?”保育员问。其中的一个眨了眨眼睛说，“哥哥，不要告诉她。”
