If you really want to escape the things that harass you, what you’re
needing is not to be in a different place but to be a different person.
-- Seneca
It is that time of the year when at work, the pace slows down, groups go out for
socials, and people start to take vacations. It's also the time the engineers
get a year-end review.
"We go way back, Bill, and I know you are a very good programmer. I still recall
your memory allocator." Saranya began at their one-on-one meeting. Yes. His work
has stood the test of time: not a single bug in four years. "I think you are able
to contribute much more to the team."
It was a typical exchange between the two. Next, Bill was urged to close bugs, the
urgent ones especially, faster. His group were still recovering from a few tough
weeks before the last release when timely resolving high-profile problems became
a critical skill. He tried to understand from her perspective and their talk went
well. Bill cheerfully accepted everything without even looking at the appraisal
letter which detailed his pay in 2022.
Saranya used to work with him and was only recently promoted. A diminutive
southern Indian girl in her early 30s, she had a head of long auburn hair and an
infectious smile and enjoyed company and joking around. Although a bit fluffy as
a programmer, she had a quick mind and communicated well. More importantly, she
had the hutzpah and kept her head cool where things heated up. On top of these
rare qualities, the mortgage on an apartment in Cupertino and monthly dues for
the new BMW must have helped motivating, Bill thought. In fact, he predicted
years ago that she would become a manager.
It was lucky that the first piece of software Bill wrote, the memory allocator,
had been a success. Even better, Saranya had been there to witness, and his
former manager, Santosh, must have said good things. After that work, however,
he had taken on only minor tasks. The few Brahminic technocrats were not
comfortable dealing with a stiff-necked boor susceptible of openly defying
hierachy. Working directly with Saranya was more pleasant.
Facing an uphill battle, he used to seethe at perceived unfairness and move on
in a tick. Early on, he changed jobs every couple of years. This round, however,
Bill stayed at his post and changed his own ways. He largely stopped craving a
raise, a promotion, or recognition, which depends on others' opinions of him,
and shifted attention to the things where he could actually make a difference:
his health and his kid's and his own education, e.g. He figured these things
would matter more than title and money as he aged.
He was not the only one disillusioned with chasing career success. Quan, a QA
engineer in his 50s from Vietnam, told a similar story. "Switching jobs gave
thrills but in a year or two, I found I was stuck in another swamp." he said,
"My nature runs against the very practices that define success. It has more to
do with who I am than which company I work for." Before retirement, Quan felt no
need to go through it again.
Bill's pal Lucas, however, would welcome a change at the moment. It was three
years ago when he felt stagnant and switched to another group, to learn
something new and stay in the game, as he said. It didn't turn out well: his
boss retired six months ago and left a damning review and he was given an
ultimatum to finish a task. The 63-year-old had been with the company for 10
years and lately lived in constant fear of losing his job. The income was only
part of the story. He needed the insurance for his family as two of his sons
were still in college.
Bill did not know how to help. This was the first time he did not envy his
friend's success in raising three great kids. The poor bloke must have suffered
all these years. Neither was he jealous of Saranya's promotion. The girl had
been paying dearly: in three short months, the spark was gone from her eyes and
it looked as if she had aged a decade and doubled in size. Both reminded him of
the ancient Chinese tale which starts with an old man who lost a horse. Was it a
good or bad thing? It was hard to say. A cliche as the story has become, it
rings no less true. Living in Lucas's fear or Saranya's stress would have been
unbearable for Bill.
