昨晚，因为见到儿子英语小测成绩得了个D， 今早批评他一痛后，他早饭没吃，就上学了。我想这孩子是每隔几个月要敲下脑子才行。回想起过去六年多的学习，想想他已经超出我的预期，有了上进心，也比先前努力，成绩也稳步提升。因此，这让我对他的未来有所期待。也因为这种强烈的期待，才让我一下变得心情低落。而这个D, 放在他初中时，我眼都不眨一下的。 早上和他说了：你在美国读了六年书，我是一天学都没在上，但我怎么觉得如果放我去考英文，我都不至于拿D. 从今天开始，你每天读十页文学类书，FICTION, NON-FICTION, 由你选。我也跟着读十页，读完我考你。提高英文没有捷径，读着记着学着，水平就上来了。你努力了，你没做到，我不说你。问题是你看看现在你每天还在玩游戏。就没见你读一本英文课外书。你喜欢玩游戏，还在乎游戏上的输赢。你怎么没是到真实社会上的输赢呢？记住这句话“It is a very competitive society. If you don't work hard, you will be the loser.”
My son has been getting special education since we moved to US when he was ten. His disorder, new school environment, plus the language barrier, created the hardships for the transaction.
I have a clear understanding for what he will face, so I didn’t have any unrealistic expectation. If only teachers and classmates don’t think him a strange boy for his uncontrolled tics, he feels comfortable and has good time in school, then I will feel quite satisfied. This was the goal I set when he was in primary school.
We reached the goal. I haven’t got any letters from school, telling me my son made any troubles, he has misconducts or bad behaviors as he was reported in previous school which was not the case. I was proud of my son for his adaptation, but I was more grateful to the teachers, social worker, and school nurse under principal Laura’s leadership. I felt Laura’s caring, loving, passion, kindness and intelligence the first time I met her during a meeting before my son begin his classes in the school.
My son's achievement in social aspect didn’t surprise me. As his mom, a person who was away from him for only 2.5 months in the past 10 years, I know him very well. Sometimes he could be naughty, but he never did mean things as bad boys are supposed to do.
In academic aspect, there was no miracle happened. His English skill was far behind other students, also below the standard level in nationwide. He was a student under the help of ESL program. His math was in the standard range. For his poor performance in English learning, I doubted if he has a learning disability named “Dyslexia”. I spoke out my concern to his English teacher, then he got evaluated. The evaluation result excluded my prediction. By then, I really didn’t know I was happy or unhappy for the result. If the result shows YES, then he will be eligible of getting more help which is good. If the result shows NO, he can’t get extra help, but it means he has not that disability.
Since his poor academic performance in primary school, I didn’t pay much attention on his academic reports when he was in Middle school. I just held the impression that he was one of kid with bad grades, probably the last 20-30% of all the students in his grade. I didn't know I was wrong till when he was in 10th grade, one day, I told him my impression, then he told me his grades in Middle school was not as bad as what I thought, in general, he thought he was a student with average grades.
Year 2020 came the Covid-19 pandemic. Thinking back, I really felt being blessed, since neither of us got Covid in the past 2 years. At mean time, the pandemic didn’t give us as much impacts as it did to most of Americans. After 3 months distance learning starting on March 20th, 2020, followed by two months summer holiday, he became a high school student who could physically sit in class.
Taking in-person classes was his choice. Based on the unique situation of each family, school offered two learning options, in-person learning and remote learning. He chose the first one because "in-person learning is more functional for me, even though remote learning is more relaxing." I was pleased to hear his explains, since from that I knew he wants to be good and would like to work hard to be good.
