斯人已逝（之四：云生）
Departed Souls (4: Yunsheng)
云生是我的高中同班同学，他是一位罕见的数学天才。他的英年早逝让所有认识他的人扼腕痛惜。
Yunsheng was my high school classmate, a rare mathematical genius. His untimely death at a young age left everyone who knew him in deep sorrow.
当年我父母工作的那个国有大型企业挂靠在那座南方三线城市Y城的边上。此地自古以来就有文化传统，历代文化名人中有不少出自这一地区。Y城二中是省重点中学，它的高中名声显赫，有一批特级教师。每个年级约300名学生来自一市八县的应届初中毕业生。我们那一届考生有两万多人。我们厂中学和Y城六中的初中部是二中最好的生源地。云生就是来自六中。
The state-owned large enterprise where my parents worked was affiliated with the Y town, a southern mid-sized city. This area has a rich cultural tradition, and many cultural celebrities in ancient China hailed from this region. The No. 2 High School of Y town was a key provincial high school with a prestigious reputation, boasting a group of top-notch teachers. Each grade had ~300 students from Y town and its affiliated eight counties. Our cohort was selected via tough examinations from over 20,000 candidates. The junior high section of our factory school and of No. 6 Middle School of Y town were the main sources of talent for No. 2 High School. Yunsheng was from No. 6 High School.
高中时的云生个头不高，比较瘦小，与他后来的照片相比，简直就像个没有发育成熟的孩子。他的父亲是个裁缝，母亲是纺织厂的工人。有一次我母亲去他父亲的裁缝铺改一件我的白衬衣，提到为孩子准备二中的歌咏比赛，这才对上号 — 原来我们都在自己的父母面前多次提到对方。我们之间的相互是竞争是激烈的，但都钦佩对方。
Yunsheng was not tall, a bit slender, and when compared to the photos two decades later, he looked like an immature child. His father was a tailor, and his mother worked in a textile factory. One day, my mother went to his father's tailor shop to alter one of my white shirts. During the conversation, she mentioned that she was preparing for a singing activity at No. 2 High School for her son. It turned out that we had mentioned each other multiple times in front of our parents. Despite the intense competition among the outstanding students of our cohort, we admired each other.
云生的数学天赋，在入校没多久就被人认识到了。他的数学成绩几乎全是满分，这个不太稀奇。但有些事不是一般人能做到的。我们的数学老师原先是科大数学系的讲师，因为需要回家乡照顾长期患病的父母，就“降格“调到我们高中来任教。这位胡老师喜欢出难题。有一天课上内容少，于是在最后15分钟他出了一道二次方程的难题，我们在下面冥思苦想。离下课还有五分钟的时候，胡老师把解法大致说了一下。此时云生举手，对老师说“我有另外两种解法，都比您的简单……”。
Yunsheng's mathematical talent was recognized by everyone shortly after enrollment. His math scores were almost perfect every time in exams, which wasn't too surprising. However, some things were beyond the reach of ordinary people. Our math teacher was originally a lecturer in the mathematics department of the University of Science and Technology of China. Due to the need to take care of his long-term ill parents in Y town, he accepted a "demotion" to teach at our high school. This teacher, Mr. Hu, liked to give challenging problems. One day, with little extra time left in the class, he presented a challenging quadratic equation problem in the last 15 minutes. We pondered below. Five minutes before the end of the class, Mr. Hu briefly explained the solution. At this point, Yunsheng raised his hand and said to the teacher, 'I have two other solutions, both simpler than yours...'
云生是那种在学习是非常较真的人，为了一个解法、一个概念，不惜去跟老师争论的学生。其他事情上也是全力以赴，不服输。我们有时候课后要打篮球。我这一米八的大个子居然在一米七的云生身上占不到大便宜。他灵巧、占位好、不怕“死磕”，是个让人头疼的对手。而在日常生活和穿着上，他却相当随意和不修边幅。有一次家长会后，他妈跟班主任聊天，请他告诉云生，夏天要每天洗澡。原来他整天在家除了吃饭睡觉，就是做题，不注意个人卫生，家里人说他也不听。这话不知道怎么传到了同学耳朵里，很有喜感。显然，云生不仅是有天赋的，也是入迷、很用功的…… 我本人这些年看过不少在学术、音乐、体育等方面的人才。凡是做得特别好的，天赋固然很关键，但用功是绝对不可少的。仅凭聪明而成事者，我一个也没有见过。
Yunsheng was the kind of person who took studying very seriously. He was willing to argue with the teacher for a solution or a concept. In other matters, he was equally dedicated and unwilling to lose. Sometimes, after class, we played basketball. Surprisingly, my 1.8-meter tall figure couldn't easily dominate the 1.7-meter Yunsheng. He was agile, positioned well, unafraid of 'hard fights,' and a headache for opponents. In daily life and appearance, he was quite casual and untidy. One time, after a parent-teacher meeting, his mother talked to the class teacher, asking him to tell Yunsheng to take a bath every day in the summer. It turned out he spent all day at home either eating, sleeping, or doing math problems, neglecting personal hygiene, and his family complained that he wouldn't listen. Somehow, this information reached the ears of classmates, creating some amusement. Clearly, Yunsheng not only had talent but also was fascinated and hardworking... In my years, I've seen many talented individuals in academia, music, sports, and other fields. Talent is crucial, but hard work is absolutely essential. I have not seen anyone succeed solely based on intelligence.
在我们那个省重点高中，学生间的竞争很厉害。期中、期末考试排名公开，那年头没有什么对学生面子的考虑。各种学科竞赛每月都有。很快我就发现，尽管在别的科目竞赛上我可以跟云生比一比，有时还能赢他，但数学竞赛是没有什么机会的。级别越高越是如此。高二有一次，云生、我和另外两位同学参加了华东区数学邀请赛，云生拿了一等奖，一名低一年级的同学得了二等奖。我没戏，这个级别的竞赛我out了，这是我数学天赋的天花板。后来云生作为学校唯一的代表参加了那年的全国数学竞赛，再次斩获一等奖。学校专门为他开了庆功会。很遗憾我们那个时候中国还没有参加IMO，要不然我认为云生是有实力进国家队的。
Competition among students was intense at our key provincial high school. Midterm and final exam rankings were publicly displayed, with various subject competitions held every month. Soon, I discovered that, although I could compete with Yunsheng in other subject competitions, and sometimes I win against him, there was no chance in the math competitions. The higher level, more so. In the second year of high school, Yunsheng, I, and two other students from our school participated in the East China Mathematics Invitational. Yunsheng won first prize, and a junior from a lower grade won second prize. I had no chance; it was the ceiling of my mathematical talent. Later, Yunsheng, as the school's sole representative, participated in that year's national mathematics competition and once again won first prize. The school organized a celebration for him. Unfortunately, at that time, China had not yet participated in the International Mathematical Olympiad (IMO); otherwise, I believe Yunsheng have had the ability to join the national team.
高考一过，各个班最优秀的几个学生，就被全国名校来的招生老师给“瓜分”了。有的招生老师甚至找到家里去谈。云生被一所著名高校的数学系给抢走了，据说北大的招生老师很遗憾。下面这张照片显示伦敦金融区，与云生有关，后面谈。照片的云层中我隐约嵌入了一张照片（为照顾隐私，有意弄得很模糊），这是我们即将奔赴各地上大学时，我们的班主任老师特意找来他的五位得意门生的合影。前排中是老师，前左（观察者角度）那位女同学现为某一线城市科技园区的行政领导，前右是我，后左现在是房地产富豪，后中是水电专家，后右是云生。
After the college entrance exam, the top students in each class were divided among recruitment officers from prestigious national universities. Some recruitment officers even went to the students' homes to negotiate. Yunsheng was taken by the mathematics department of a famous university, and it was said that Peking University's recruitment officer regretted he failed to get Yunsheng. The picture below is of the London financial district, related to Yunsheng, and I will discuss it later. In the photo, I faintly embedded another picture (blurred for privacy), a group photo of the five outstanding students from our class that our class teacher specially arranged before we went to different universities. In the front and center is the teacher, the left (from the observer's perspective) female classmate is now an administrative leader in a technology park in a first-tier city, I am on the right, the left rear is now a real estate tycoon, the center rear is a hydropower expert, and the right rear is Yunsheng.
上大学以后我们的联系不多。平时偶尔有通信，寒暑假见过两次面。云生家在老城区，距我们厂的家属区有相当的距离。云生的大学四年虽然没有什么轰轰烈烈的大事，但作为学生是很成功的。他不仅是最优秀的本科生，而且开始跟教授合作发表论文。好几位教授都希望他毕业后成为他们的研究生。他也愿意在本校继续学习。他选择了一位中年数学家做他的导师，方向是代数几何（Algebraic Geometry，现代纯数学的一个重要分支，其基本研究对象是在任意维数的空间中，由若干个代数方程的公共零点所构成的集合的几何特性。）
After going to college, our contact was limited. Occasionally, we exchanged letters, and we met a couple of times during winter and summer vacations. His family lived in the old city area, quite far from the family area of our factory. Although Yunsheng's four years of university were not spectacular, he was very successful as a student. He was not only the top undergraduate student but also started collaborating on research papers with professors. Several professors hoped he would become their graduate student after graduation, and he was willing to continue studying at the same university. He chose a middle-aged mathematician as his advisor, and his focus was algebraic geometry (a crucial branch of modern pure mathematics that studies the geometric properties of sets defined by several algebraic equations in any number of dimensions).
然而，录取却遇到了麻烦。他的三门专业课全部是满分，英语过线，但政治不及格。按照规定不能录取。老师急了，去找校长、党委书记，学校怕犯错误，不敢定。但领导还算是珍惜人才，就打电话到北京教育部请示，看能不能特批。教育部的领导提出了一个解决办法：先让云生作为研究生入学，但在校几年中，须随报考研究生的学生一同再考政治，直到过线。否则不得授予学位。
However, his admission encountered a problem. His three major courses were all full marks, he passed the English exam, but he failed the political science exam. According to the regulations, he couldn't be admitted. The teacher was anxious and went to see the school principal and the party secretary. The school, afraid of making a mistake, hesitated. However, the leadership valued talent and called the Ministry of Education in Beijing to seek special approval. The Ministry of Education proposed a solution: let Yunsheng enter as a graduate student, but during his years at the school, he must take the political science exam with other graduate school applicants until he passes. Otherwise, he would not be awarded a degree.
云生成为研究生后，我们们的联系基本上就中断了。他恐怕是越来越忙，而我去了北京，在单位的筒子楼里，度过了几年无聊、焦虑的蹉跎岁月。1990年代上半叶的一天，我招待了一位从南方来北京出差的高中老同学，他是云生的发小，两人联系很多。他告诉我云生在前一年已经去英国读博士去了。原来在云生读硕士的时候，他们系与英国一所著名大学数学系进行学术交流。来访者中有两位学界的大教授。其中一人跟云生交流后，对他的天赋和水平大为震惊，说你来读我的博士吧，做纯数学，你应该跟对方向。大教授回到英国，为云生弄到了一笔奖学金。于是，云生就去了英国这所著名的学府。
After becoming a graduate student, our contact basically stopped. He was probably getting busier, while I went to Beijing and spent several years in the monotonous and anxious years in the unit's dormitory. In the early 1990s, one day, I hosted a high school classmate who came to Beijing for a business trip. He was Yunsheng's childhood friend, and they had a close relationship. He told me that Yunsheng had gone to the UK for a Ph.D. the previous year. When Yunsheng was doing his master's, their department had academic exchanges with the mathematics department of a prestigious British university. In the visitors, two professors were well-known in their direction, and one of them, after exchanging ideas with Yunsheng, was greatly shocked by his talent and proficiency. He told Yunsheng to come to the UK to be his Ph.D. He told Yunsheng if he does pure mathematics, you should align yourself with correct directions. The professor returned to the UK and secured a scholarship for Yunsheng. So, Yunsheng went to this renowned institution for a Ph.D. degree.
大约在2004年左右，我们年级一位学计算机、后来下海做电脑生意的同学申请了一个专门的网址作为“老同学交流论坛”，这个论坛一下子就把我们这一届近200名同学联系到了一起。不知何故，云生没有加入进来。但是很快有同学介绍说，云生在1990年代末拿到博士学位以后就结婚了。妻子就是家乡Y城的，原先在市里面的什么局当办事员，他俩是通过别人介绍认识的。当时云生已经三十出头，家里为他着急，他自己可能也想成家。他回家见了一下这位比他小8岁的姑娘，接着有几个月的email交流，然后他就回国结婚了。参加婚礼的同学在同学论坛上贴上了几张照片。婚礼场面挺隆重。而他的新婚妻子呢，简单一句话描述就是：是个美人儿。
Around 2004, one of our classmates who studied computer science and later ventured into the computer business created a dedicated website as a 'forum for old classmates.' This forum instantly connected nearly 200 classmates from our cohort. For some reason, Yunsheng did not join. However, a classmate soon introduced that Yunsheng had gotten married in the late 1990s. His wife was from Y town, working in some bureau in the city as a staff member. They were introduced through mutual acquaintances. At that time, Yunsheng was in his early thirties, feeling the urgency to get married. After a 2-week visit to home town to meet this girl in person and exchanging emails for several months, he returned to China again and got married. Classmates who attended the wedding posted some photos on the forum. The wedding ceremony was quite grand. As for his new wife, she could be described in simple terms: an extremely beautiful lady.
那个时候，云生的专业和学术水平早已不是我能理解和评价的了。然而出于好奇，我去查询了一下他的工作和发表。网上显示在2000之前，他的身份是博士后，与David Masser 、Gerd Faltings这些数学大师在基金申请和发表上有一些合作。显然云生当时是走在纯数学前沿的。然而后来在同学论坛上，有人说云生已经改行做应用数学。他加入了伦敦金融城的一家投资银行。而且这位同学说云生的概率统计和计算机编程都好，所以一进入银行就大显身手。他建立了一个新的风险投资模型。银行依此投资放贷，成效卓著。他说云生因此获得了高额的奖金，“发了”。我后来跟一位做应用数学的朋友聊到云生的转行，他说很好理解啊。纯数学这条路太难走了，就算你有极高的天赋和超常的努力，大概率你一生很难有重大发现，最终多半是在学校里教书。
At that time, Yunsheng's professional and academic level was certainly beyond my comprehension and evaluation. However, out of curiosity, I checked his work and publications online. It showed that before 2000, his status was a postdoctoral researcher, and he had some collaboration with mathematical masters like David Masser and Gerd Faltings in fund applications and publications. Obviously, Yunsheng was at the forefront of pure mathematics at that time. However, later, someone on the class forum said that Yunsheng had switched to applied mathematics and joined an investment bank in the London financial district. This classmate stated that Yunsheng was excellent in probability and statistics as well as computer programming, so he showcased his talents upon entering the bank. He created a new risk investment model, and the bank invested and lent based on this model, achieving remarkable results. He said Yunsheng received a substantial bonus, and "he is well-heeled." Later, when I talked to a friend who studied applied mathematics about Yunsheng's career change, he said it was totally understandable. The path of pure mathematics was too difficult. Even if you had extraordinary talent and put in extraordinary effort, it was highly probable that you would never make a significant discovery in your lifetime, and most likely, you would end up teaching at a school.
大约是2007年的一天，我这个老博士后在实验室忙碌了十几个小时。回家打开同学论坛一看，我惊呆了：云生因患肝癌日前在伦敦去世，享年39岁。发现的时候已经是晚期，已不能手术，几个月人就走了。那两年本来我就不顺，云生的噩耗让我痛苦了很多天……
One day around 2007, I, as an old postdoc, was busy in the lab all day. When I got home and opened the class forum, I was shocked: Yunsheng had passed away in London due to liver cancer at the age of 39. When it was diagnosed, it was already in the late stage, and surgery was not possible. He passed away within a few months. Those two years were already tough for me, and Yunsheng's tragic news caused me much pain for many days...
又过了十年。我2018年在国内的时候，见了不少的老同学。那时正值春节，老同学莹从外地赶来陪她父母过年。她听说我回来了，就约我到茶馆去聊聊。她是当年二班的学霸，高考也考上了云生的那所大学。莹过去跟我不在一个班，不熟。我们那个时候男女界限分明，根本没说过话。然而几十年过去了，现在见面如老友重逢，轻松自然。
Ten more years passed. In 2018, when I was in China, I met many old classmates. It was during the Chinese New Year, and Ying came from out of town to accompany his parents. When she heard that I was back, she invited me to a teahouse to chat. She was a top student of Class Two back then, and she also went to the same famous university as Yunsheng. Ying and I were not in the same class in the past, and we were not familiar. At that time, the boundaries between boys and girls were clear, and we had never spoken to each other. However, decades later, meeting each other felt like a reunion of old friends, and it was easygoing and comfortable.
闲聊中我提到云生英年早逝太可惜，莹突然泪流满面。她说：“有些事情我从来没有跟任何人讲过，现在跟你说说吧。”莹的母亲与云生的母亲过去都是纺织厂的工人，两家住得也很近，两人算得上是青梅竹马。云生从小优秀，莹一直心里面喜欢他。后来他们去了同一所大学，莹是有所期待的。然而，除了偶尔的一同放假回家和回校，两人交集很少。四年间莹想了一些办法跟云生接近，多次暗示，可是云生就像木疙瘩一样没有反应。
During the chat, I mentioned that Yunsheng's untimely death was regrettable, and Ying suddenly burst into tears. She said, 'There's something I've never told anyone; I'll tell you now.' Ying's mother and Yunsheng's mother were colleagues in the textile factory, and the two families lived very close to each other, essentially childhood friends. Yunsheng was outstanding from a young age, and Ying had always liked him. Later, they went to the same university, and Ying had expectations in love. However, except for occasional trips home and back to school, their interactions were infrequent. During the four years, Ying tried some ways to get closer to Yunsheng, dropping hints multiple times, but Yunsheng, like a piece of wood, showed no response.
我把已经到嘴边的话又咽了回去。我本想对莹说，我认为云生不是木讷，而是对你没感觉（莹当年是个戴眼镜、书生气的女孩子）。作为男人，我深知我们中的不少人是有符咒的，他们找恋爱、婚配的对象首先看脸、看身材。明知这样非理性、不公平、甚至危险，但他们无法摆脱。看看云生太太的美貌，我猜想云生也许是其中之一。
I swallowed the words I was about to say. I wanted to tell Ying that I thought Yunsheng wasn't taciturn; he just didn't have feelings for you (Ying was a girl with glasses and a scholarly demeanor back then). As a man, I know that many of us are “helpless”; they choose their spouse based on appearance and figure. Even though they know it's irrational, unfair, and even dangerous, they can't escape it. Looking at Yunsheng's beautiful wife, I guessed that he might be one of them.
莹在四年级做毕业论文的时候，同实验室的硕士生师兄狂追她。她隐约感觉这个人的性格不好，同时心中又惦念着云生，很矛盾。于是她约云生出去聊聊，她试探性地告诉云生有人在追求她，听听他的建议。而云生的反应让她“伤心至极”（这是她的原话，我没有问云生究竟说了什么）。于是，莹与她的师兄建立了恋爱关系。尽管几年间磕磕绊绊，那男人也暴露出一些问题，但莹还是未能下决心摆脱。她毕业以后他们结了婚，有了一个女儿。而她丈夫的狭隘和控制欲也发展到了病态的程度。
In the fourth year, when Ying was doing experiments for her graduation thesis, a graduate student in the laboratory went after her intensely. She vaguely felt that this person's character was not good, and at the same time, she still couldn’t remove Yunsheng out of her heart. She contacted Yunsheng and told him that someone was pursuing her, asking for his advice. Yunsheng's reaction left her 'extremely heartbroken' (these were her exact words, and I didn't ask what Yunsheng had said). As a result, Ying established a romantic relationship with her the guy. Although there were ups and downs over the years, and the man revealed some problems, Ying wasn’t resolved enough to leave. After she graduated, they got married and had a daughter. However, her husband's narrow-mindedness and control grew to a pathological level.
在2000年代初期，莹有一次要去伦敦开学术会议。那时候云生结婚已三、四年，而莹也在不幸婚姻的漩涡中挣扎，她联系到云生，告诉他会议结束后想在伦敦玩两天，如方便可以见个面。云生回那你就住我家里吧，我刚买了一套公寓。
In the early 2000s, Ying went to London for an academic conference. At that time, Yunsheng had been married for three or four years, and Ying was struggling in an unfortunate vortex. She contacted Yunsheng and told him that after the conference, she wanted to spend two days in London, and if convenient, they could meet. Yunsheng replied that she could stay at his home, as he had just bought an apartment.
虽然只是短短的两天，莹深感尴尬，后悔住到云生家里住。夫妻两人处处显示出不和睦、不协调，即使当着客人的面。云生告诉学莹，他太太在婚后不久就要求他转行做应用数学的，她说做纯数学太清苦，生活看不到希望。云生告诉莹，现在自己的收入已是博士后时的十几倍不止，买了好地段的公寓。可她又开始不满意，说房子太小了……莹也把自己婚姻的不幸简单告诉了云生。在送莹回国时，在机场安检口，云生对莹说：“你多保重，对过去的一些事情，我很后悔。”这是云生对莹说的最后一句话。
Even though it was only for a short two days, Ying felt extremely awkward and regretted staying at Yunsheng's house. The couple showed discord and lack of coordination everywhere, even in front of guests. Yunsheng told Ying that it was his wife who had asked him to switch to applied mathematics shortly after getting married. She said that doing pure mathematics was too tough, and life seemed hopeless. Yunsheng told Ying that his current income is more than ten times that of his postdoctoral days, and they just bought an apartment in a good location. However, she soon became dissatisfied again, complaining that it was not big enough. Ying also briefly shared the unhappiness in her marriage with Yunsheng. When sending Ying back to China, at the airport security checkpoint, Yunsheng said to Ying, "Take care of yourself, and I regret some things from the past." This was Yunsheng's last sentence to Ying.
这次（2018年初）莹跟我聊天的时候，她已经离婚十几年，之后她没有再婚，她打算一辈子独身了。她的事业很成功，是国内有关专业的知名学者。她告诉我，她女儿正在伦敦一所大学读硕士，夏天结束。她届时要到英国去一趟，跟女儿一同回国。
The last time (early 2018) I saw Ying, she had been divorced for more than ten years and was still single. Her career was very successful, and she was a well-known scholar in her field in China. She told me that her daughter was studying for a master's degree at a university in London and would be returning after the summer. She planned to visit the UK and come back with her daughter.
云生病重时，他并没有联系莹。她也是从同学论坛上得知云生的死讯的。她哭了整整一天。她不知道云生的墓在哪里，也不想去打听了。她说夏天去英国时，她想到云生曾经学习、生活过的那所大学去走一走，到数学系楼前的草坪上坐一会儿，算是去跟云生道个别 ……
When Yunsheng fell seriously ill, he didn't tell Ying. She learned about Yunshng's death from the classmate forum. She cried for the whole day. She didn't know where Yunsheng's grave was, and she didn't want to inquire. She said that when she went to England in the coming summer, she would visit the university where Yunsheng had studied and lived, take a walk, sit on the lawn in front of the mathematics department building for a while, as a way to bid farewell to Yunsheng....
【Edited from ChatGPT translation.】
