On this Thanksgiving night, when thousands of families get together and celebrate the reunions, I'm sitting here alone and starting to miss Chicago.
It might be because Hui mentioned it in her mail. The days I spent in Chicago should be no more than a week. I spent a lot more time in P, and even here. But now I'm missing Chicago. I'm guessing maybe what I'm missing is not the actual city, but the friends who I know might be in some corners there, chatting, laughing...things I used to do with them, when I used to be one of them...
You never know, I'm feeling more and more lonesome. I don't belong to your "gang", but I know I have to try to fit in. It is not a happy or exciting experience for me. You know me.
Seattle, I never feel I like it very much. I may like it later, I may not. I may finally be in your group of people, I may give up my try at last. I believe you think we may get even closer after I fit myself in your family. I hope so, too. But, I feel you are farther for me to reach than before, already...
You may not remember that you once sent me an email that touched me. In that email you kept asking me what I wanted, in such details as if once I tell you, you will just give it to me. A house with white fence and a dog, they're a future thing to talk, since we can not afford now, and I have no complaint. There is something that I want and you can afford to give now, but I doubt you would have the patience to listen: I want you to spare one or two hours each day to read with me------we lay on bed cozily and comfortably, next to each other, and read, and tell each other the interesting things we have seen; I want you to be aside when I cook, even if you are just watching. I don't want you to share any of the work, but just to be there. Believe it or not, this can make me much warmer and less lonesome.
Are you able to listen? Will it be painful for you to just do it for a week? I sometimes feel my days is not much different from my single days. Is it my problem?
