爱情解密之十二：How To Get The Guy (1)

ABC reality TV show How to get the guy caught our attention when it was first aired few weeks ago. We don’t think it was a good show, from a practical perspective, because it could easily mislead you to pursuing a guy. On the flip side, entertainment wise, that could be a different story.

You can browse yourself to see what they teach you in here or watch the show on Monday night at 10:00pm. Let’s first discuss their worst lessen.

Remember guys like the chase. Let’s say they enjoy it because they feel good about it and about themselves too. If you surrender too easily or quickly, you’re insinuating that, unconsciously, you’re less valuable as they perceived in the first place. The pursuit will cease soon when they get you, and inevitably they’ll be looking for something or someone else more exciting and challenging. On the other hand, if you don’t show him the sign you will be possibly conquered, the game is over too, and he will move on to someone else.

Therefore, it’s very important to create an appropriate self-image first that you want love, but you don’t need love to make you happy or complete. Never send a signal, implicitly and obviously, that you’re desperate and waiting for someone to rescue you, even though it could be of a truth. Instead, you should send a mixed signal to let him see the potential to have you, only if he’s willing to work harder, and vice versa.

A lot of women already know that. What you don’t know is that your self-image should be always in accordance with your behaviors and languages. Everyone of us has an unconscious “radar” in our mind to identify and seize these differences – you may call it the sixth sense to catch other’s weaknesses, even though we may not be consciously aware of them.

To sit closer to him, to invite him to have passionate kisses (not for courtesy purpose), and to fiddle with his cloth on your first date all indicate you’re desperately seeking for love to fulfill your life. On the contrary, you should never act like a prude, who always repels men too (secret: prudes always have poor self-esteems). You have to understand the boundary between the prudish and self-confidence.

Don’t laugh if you are not happening to be one of them above. After few dates, your clinginess and desperation will be more likely to show up too – It’s only a matter of time, if you don’t know how to control yourself.

So until next time, you should appeal to people’s self-interest, never to their mercy or gratitude.