元素周期表(Periodic Table of the Chemical Elements)是由俄国科学家门捷列夫(Dmitri Mendellev)首创于1869年。门教授(圣彼得堡大学)从小就聪明，出生时他是家中17个孩子中的老么，年轻时攻读化学，在35岁的年头上就排出了由63个元素组成的周期表。但化学发展到百年之后的今天，周期表上的元素已列了117个，与之相比，门教授漏了55个元素。
我这纯属卖弄! 英特网它就是好，什么学问都可以从网上抄来。坦白讲，自大学至今我都是搞伪科学的，对科学当然是一窍不通。今天办公室同事送来一个英文帖子，大意是说还有一个古老的元素早就该列在周期表中但始终被人遗忘。我把这英文帖子抄录如下，烦请有兴趣的化学专业人士帮忙将这元素的名称以及它的物理化学特征等等翻译成中文。
Element: Woman
Symbol: ♀
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kg, but known to very from 45kg to 225kg
Physical Properties:
1. Body surface normally covered with film of powder and paint
2. Boils at absolutely nothing ━ freezes for no apparent reason
3. Found in various grades ranging from virgin material to common ore
Chemical Properties:
1. Reacts well to gold, platinum and all precious stones
2. Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning
3. The most powerful money reducing agent known to man
Common Use
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
2. Can greatly aid relaxation
3. Can be a very effective cleaning agent
Hazards:
1. Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen.
2. Possession of more than one is possible but specimens must never make eye contact.
注: 我只是抄录，如你不喜欢尽管批判。
