to make a note here: the first step of the long procedure

Yesterday the procedure started to run officially and finally. It was just the first step, and I have to visit there for another two or three times to finalize it. But it is not an issue, time plays the only role here. It was just another ordinary day for the rest of the population, but for me it meant difference: I am about to step out of the nightmare and get into another stage of my life. In retrospect, I have never thought I would be singled out from the majority, but I made the choice while facing each bifurcation, which lead me closer to what I had never imagined before. Now I am standing here thanks to my previous choices.

The rest of the world goes on as usual no matter what happens to a single individual. I could not help thinking of partial lyrics of an old song:

why does the sun still shine
why does the sea still rush to shore
don't they know
it's the end of the world
it ended
when you say good-bye
.......
......

Burden might be shared, happiness could be also shared, however, only the pain could not be shared. You may speak it out, the others might sense it and feel sympathy, but they could not feel the same way as you do, they might not believe what you feel so painful is a big deal or even worthful. Therefore, you have to take and swallow it entirely until someday when you finally get over it.
It is you who could make the only difference when pains hit. When it happens, confront it, embrace it,  sip it down, and eventually beat it down. Then here comes a day when you completely feel nothing about it and you could even give it a good laugh. It means it's over.


The end of one thing is the start-up of another .............

therefore,

"Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened"
june12,2007