七大原因——同样的情况下为什么有些人成功而其他人失败了？
“Success happens not by chance, but because you were given a chance and took advantage of it.” - Kevin Geary
To most people, being born in a free country is the greatest gift. To others, it’s a fleeting thought. For the latter, I feel sorry.
Before I go any further, I must admit that not everyone will find success. There will always be those who sit around waiting for success to find them. There will be those who are simply not willing to achieve it. And then there’s the fact that success would not exist without failure. All of these things create what we know; a world where success and failure are experienced by different groups of people.
Everyone in a free country has the opportunity to succeed. So why doesn’t everyone succeed? Because success and failure are choices made consciously and subconsciously and failure is chosen by many for various reasons.
Here are 7 undeniable reasons why some people fail where others succeed:
1. They Define Success Wrong
“Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven’t planted.” - David Bly
Do you believe that success is won, innate, or earned? The answer someone gives can tell you a lot about them, and why they are where they are.
Success is won: if you believe that success is won, you experience animosity and envy toward those you view as lucky or more fortunate than you. You also believe that success is out of your control; it simply depends on a flip of the coin or certain circumstances.
How hard are you willing to work if you believe that success is won rather than earned?
Success is innate: people who believe success is innate often feel the same as those who believe it’s won. The only difference is that believers in innate-success have a more pessimistic view of opportunity; it’s trivial to them (we’ll go over this a little later). Why does opportunity matter if success is innate?
How hard are you willing to work if you feel your opportunity doesn’t matter and your chances of success are nil because of your circumstances?
Success is earned: the last group of people believes what we know to be true based on statistical analysis; success is earned. These people understand that in order to succeed, they must earn it. How do they earn it? They climb the mountain and utilize the same process others have used to achieve.
How hard are you willing to work if you believe success must be earned?
2. They Define Opportunity Wrong
“The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity.” - Ayn Rand
Do you believe that opportunity provides a possibility of success, a probability of success, or that it’s trivial?
Let’s ask the same questions we asked when we discussed success:
How hard are you willing to work if you believe the opportunity you were born with is trivial?
How hard are you willing to work if you believe the opportunity you were born with is a possibility?
How hard are you willing to work if you believe the opportunity you were born with is a probability?
I hope this is coming together for you. I still want to go further though. I want you to see exactly how your views on opportunity and success work together to help determine your outcome.
People who believe success is won see their opportunity as a possibility, but sometimes as trivial.
People who believe success is innate see their opportunity as trivial.
People who believe success is earned see their opportunity as a probability, but sometimes only as a possibility.
In layman’s terms, the rich see success as earned and view their opportunity as probability. The middle class see success as earned and view their opportunity as possibility, but sometimes as probability. The poor class sees success as won or innate and views their opportunity as trivial, or in some cases as a possibility, but not a probability.
Of course, people don’t stay in one class their entire life. The people who move between classes tend to have the same outlook as those of the class they move to.
3. They Define Work Wrong
“The value of a man’s position is often determined by the number of people qualified to fill it.” - Kevin Geary
We just discussed two important terms: success and opportunity. In order to continue our discussion further, we must discuss another, “work.”
“But success doesn’t always come from hard work!”
Inevitably, people will point out that factory employees work harder than CEOs. Of course, this depends on your analysis of the word “work.”
Choose a corresponding term:
Physical Labor
Mental Labor
Labor
Those who claim that success doesn’t always come from hard work only acknowledge one aspect of work, physical labor.
Of course, work is labor, period. Excluding mental labor from the term work is biased and unfair. CEOs may sit at a desk, wear a suit, and enjoy the air conditioning, but that doesn’t mean they labor any less than the man in the shop room, it’s simply a different type of labor. Not accepting this is like making the argument that one who hates their job labors more than one who enjoys their job and the pay should be altered to make up for it. You see where this is going?
In terms of pay scale, people who run companies are worth a lot more than those who assemble products. Why? Because it’s easy to find people who can assemble products and it’s not very easy to find people who can operate multi-million dollar companies for a profit.
Needless to say, the man in the shop room wouldn’t have a job if the CEO behind the desk wasn’t doing his (and vice versa). The only difference is which job you’d rather be doing, and that depends solely on the choices you make throughout your life.
How do you think the CEO views success and opportunity? How do you think the shop worker views those same terms?
4. They Defeat Themselves
“To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.” - Henry Mencken
While there is a minority of people who actually choose to fail, the majority that fail simply make poor choices or have a poor outlook. Basically, for the majority, failure is a choice but not a decision.
I can’t possibly list all of the bad choices people make which lead them to failure, but a few to get you headed in the right direction are:
Abusing drugs or alcohol / addiction.
Not getting an education.
Having a poor work ethic.
Having a child too young or out of wedlock.
Immaturity / laziness.
Borrowing too much money.
And the list goes on, and on, and on…..and on.
Of course, there are also those things which are out of someone’s control.
If you’re born into an inner-city family and attend a poor school system, you obviously start out behind others. If you’re handicapped, your road to success may be longer and more difficult. But none of this bars you from success; I’ll elaborate on this later when we discuss circumstances.
Lastly, as our quote up top reminds us, many people defeat themselves simply by expecting defeat in the first place. They don’t expect success and it actually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. For more on this, you might like my highly popular article; Your Life Sucks Because You Expect it to Suck (and 10 Ways to Improve it Right Now).
5. They Think Failure is Fina
“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.” - Winston Churchill
“But, hard work doesn’t always equal success. Some people work really hard, but fail. They tried and didn’t succeed.”
Failure is a key ingredient in success. Those who don’t achieve success most likely quit after their failure. Quitting, of course, is a choice.
If you were to follow in the footsteps of a successful person, you would likely pass the remnants of multiple failures. If you followed in the footsteps of a failure, you would find their lifeless future at the feet of their first opponent.
So the question is, how hard and for how long are you willing to fight? There are no shortcuts, statistically. The vast majority of millionaires are self-made and far too many lottery winners are broke and worse off than they were before they won the lottery. Why? Because wealth is about behavior and money doesn’t protect you from failure.
If you want to succeed where other people fail, you have to step right over failure and keep walking. The people who don’t make it let failure defeat them. Failure becomes their end result because they refuse to walk any further.
Look at it this way; if you aren’t dead yet, there’s still hope.
6. They’re a Victim of Their Circumstances
“The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.” - Mark Cain
One of the biggest rebuttals given by non-achievers is that they are held back by their circumstances.
I don’t think circumstance is a fair argument though. Yes, you may be subject to circumstances that make it more difficult for you to succeed, but that doesn’t change the fact that you start with the same opportunity as others; the opportunity provided to you by living in a free country.
It’s also important to note that some people handle circumstances better than others. For instance, you can’t say that a handicap is a circumstance that prevents you from achieving when others with the same handicap have achieved.
Everyone has issues, circumstances, road blocks, etc. It’s all about how you deal with your circumstances and how hard you’re willing to work to overcome them. But the basics don’t change; you’re still in a free country and nobody is preventing you from achieving except for yourself.
Circumstance is also unimportant because it doesn’t determine finality. For example, a trust fund baby can lose his fortune with a series of bad decisions just as easily as a child from the ghetto can acquire a fortune with a series of good decisions.
Don’t be quick to judge others based on their circumstances. Instead, judge them based on their ferocity in overcoming those circumstances.
7. They Take No For an Answer
“Opposition is a natural part of life. Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition - such as lifting weights - we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.” - Stephen R. Covey
First, you are given an opportunity. Then, based on that opportunity, you hatch a dream. And when you try to execute that dream, you meet your opposition. It is here on the battleground, facing the opposition, that success is either realized or lost.
Everyone faces opposition on their way to the top. The crack babies and the trust fund babies both have their own sets of problems. And you can’t assume that one faces more opposition than the other; everyone’s life and path to success is unique.
The one thing they do have in common is the opportunity for success. But, as you try to succeed, there will be people and circumstances around every corner that try to tell you no. The disability you were born with tells you no, your abusive parents tell you no, your pessimistic friends tell you no, your lack of self esteem causes you to say no to yourself, addiction tells you no, and so on.
The people who succeed are those who don’t take no for an answer. They shrug off the pessimism, they choose better friends, they put up boundaries with their family, and they surround themselves with positive people and things.
Conclusion
Success is possible for anyone who is willing to achieve it. There are many who want success, but there is a huge difference between wanting-to and willing-to. You have to be willing…
The other thing to remember is that your outlook and the way you define success, opportunity, and work play a large role in determining your outcome.
If you aren’t achieving, the first person you should always look to first is yourself.
“成功不是偶然，而是因为你把握住了一次偶然的机会。”——Kevin Geary
对多数人而言，应该为出生在一个自由国家而庆幸。对其他人而言，这不过是转瞬即逝的幻想。对于这些人，我深表遗憾。
在我展开论述之前，我必须承认并不是每个人都会成功。有坐在那里等着成功出现的人，也有完全没想过会成功的人，有成功就有失败，这就是现实。所有这些让我们形成了这样的看法：这个世界上，成功的人与失败的人是不同的。
自由国家的每个人都有机会成功。那么为什么不是每个人都成功了？因为成功和失败源自各种有意的和无意的抉择。很多人的失败原因是不同的。
为什么在同样的情况下有些人失败而其他人却成功了？下面就是其中的七大原因。
一、他们错误定义了“成功”
“不想努力工作就想取得成功，就像不耕种就妄图收获。”——David Bly
你认为成功是赢得的，是注定的，还是挣来的？透过人们给出的答案你可以了解他们以及他们当前的处境。
成功是赢得的：如果你相信成功是赢得的，那么你会仇恨嫉妒那些看上去比你幸运的人。你也会相信成功与否仅简单的依靠掷硬币或者特定环境，不是你能控制的。
如果你认为成功是赢得的而不是挣来的，那么你愿意付出多少努力？
成功是注定的：那些相信成功是注定的人通常感觉跟那些相信成功是赢得的人一样。唯一的区别就是“成功注定论者”更加消极悲观地看待机遇。机遇对他们而言微不足道（稍候我们会涉及到这个问题）。如果成功是注定的，那么有没有机遇又有什么关系？
如果你所处的环境让你感觉你有没有机遇没什么要紧，而且成功的机会为零，那么你愿意付出多少努力？
成功是挣来的：最后一类人相信基于统计分析的正确观念。成功是挣来的。这些人知道为了成功，他们必须付出。他们怎么成功？他们沿着先行者走过的道路爬上巅峰。
如果你认为成功必须努力争取，那么你愿意付出多少努力？
二、他们错误定义了“机遇”
“成功的阶梯最好能够踩着机遇的台阶一级一级爬上去”——Ayn Rand
机遇带给你的是成功的一次偶然机会，还是一种成功的可能？或者毫无意义？你怎么认为？让我们用刚才讨论“成功”时相同的形式提几个问题：
如果你认为那个与生俱来的机遇没有用，你愿付出多少努力？
如果你认为那个与生俱来的机遇是一次成功的偶然机会，你愿付出多少努力？
如果你认为那个与生俱来的机遇是一种成功可能，你愿付出多少努力？
我希望这些问题都摆在你面前。我还想更进一步阐述。我想让你正确地看到你对机遇和成功的看法怎样共同帮助你决定你的收获。
如果人们认为成功是赢得的，会把机遇看作一次成功的偶然机会，但是有时也会觉得毫无意义。
如果人们认为成功是注定的，会把机遇看得毫无意义。
如果人们认为成功是挣来得，会把机遇看作一种成功的可能，但是有些时候也只是看作一次偶然。
在外行人眼里，富人认为成功是挣来得，把机遇看作一种成功的可能。中产阶级认为成功是挣来的，把机遇看作一次偶然的机会，但是有时也看作一种可能。穷苦阶层认为成功是赢来的，把他们的机遇看得毫无意义，在一些情况下也看作一次偶然的机会，但是不是一种成功的可能性。
当然，人们不会一生都在一个阶层，而是在不同阶层间移动，而且与目标阶层的人们观点趋向一致。
三、他们错误定义了“工作”
“一个人的职位的价值通常由该职位所管理的人数决定”——Kevin Geary
我们刚讨论了两个重要的概念：成功和机遇。为了继续深入，我们必须讨论另一个概念——“工作”。
“但是努力工作并不一定会成功。”人们肯定会指出工厂职工比CEO工作辛苦。当然，这源于你对“工作”这个词的理解。
请选择一个意思相近的词：
体力劳动
脑力劳动
劳动
有人认为辛苦工作并不一定成功，这些人只是认识到了工作的一个方面——体力劳动。
当然，有时候工作就是指体力劳动。从这个术语中排除脑力劳动的含义带有一种偏见，是不公平的。CEO可能坐在一张桌子旁，穿着西装，享受着空调，但是这并不意味着他们工作比店铺里的人工作轻松，只是工作岗位不同而已。不认同？你是不是认为那些讨厌自己工作的人做得工作比那些享受自己工作的人要多，应当增加薪水作为补偿。你认为这将导致什么结果？
根据薪资标准，管理企业的人比装配线工人更有价值。为什么？因为招装配线工人很容易，但是找可以经营价值数百万美金的企业获得利润的人就不那么容易了。
显然，如果办公桌后的CEO不他的工作，店铺里的工人也就不会有工作，反之亦然。唯一的不同是你更愿意做那种工作，这就要看你在一生当中做的抉择了。
你认为CEO怎样看待成功和机遇？你觉得店员又怎样看待它们？
四、他们打败了他们自己
“To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.”-Henry Mencken
虽然有少数人选择失败，但是大多数只是做了错误的选择或者有错误的观点。基本上，对大多数而言，失败是一次选择而不是最终结果。
我不可能列出人们作出的所有导致失败错误选择，但是有一些可以防止你走向歧途：
不要吸毒，不要酗酒
接受教育
坚守职业道德
不要太年轻或者未婚就要小孩
成熟，不懒惰
不要欠债太多
等等...还可以列出很多
当然，有一些事是不能控制的。
如果你生在城市中心的家庭，却进入了一个糟糕的学校，显然，你已经输在了起跑线上。如果你患有残疾，你的成功之路可能很长，也更加艰辛。但是这都不能阻挡你成功。在下面讨论“环境”的时候我会详细说明这点。
最后，上面引用的格言在提醒我们，很多人击败了自己仅仅是因为一开始他们就认为会失败。他们不渴望成功，因而它事实上就成了对自我的预言。你要想了解更多，可能会喜欢我的一篇文章——Your Life Sucks Because You Expect it to Suck (and 10 Ways to Improve it Right Now)你的人生很逊是因为你认为它很逊（马上改变它的10种方法），它还挺受欢迎。
五、他们认为失败就是结局
“成功是屡败屡战的能力”——Winston Churchill
“但是，工作努力程度并不与成功成正比。一些人工作很努力，但却失败了。他们尽力了，却没有成功。”
失败是成功之母。那些没有成功的人总是在失败后放弃。放弃，当然也是种选择。
如果你跟随成功者的脚步，你或许可以避免很多失败。如果你走失败者的老路，你可以在他们第一个敌人的脚下找到他们渺茫的未来。
问题是，你愿意为之付出多少坚持多久？经验证明，没有捷径。很多百万富翁白手起家，很多中大奖的人却比中奖前更加一文不值。为什么？因为财富源于行为，钱并不能让你免于失败。
如果你想在其他人失败的地方成功，你必须跨过失败继续前行。他们做不到的所以他们失败了。他们不愿继续前进，所以失败就是他们的结局。
我们可以这样想，只要活着，就还有希望。
六、他们出淤泥而“染”
“当你排开环境的纷扰找回自我的时候，你已经向成功迈出了第一步。”——Mark Cain
失败者的最常用的辩解就是他们所处的环境妨碍了他们。
尽管我不认同环境是公平的——是的，你可能受环境影响，成功之路困难重重，但是这并没有改变你和其他人在同一起跑线上这个事实，这个起跑线就是你生在一个自由国家。
另一个重要的事实是，有一些人可以更好的运用环境。例如，如果其他人克服了某个挫折并最终成功，当你遇到相同的挫折的时候，你就不能说它阻碍了你。
每个人都会遇到问题、状况和障碍等等。一切取决于你怎样对待周围环境，你愿意付出多少努力去克服它们。但是最根本的没有改变，你在一个自由国家而且没有人可以阻碍你成功，除了你自己。
环境也是不重要的，因为它不能决定结局。一个有钱人的孩子可能因为一系列错误的抉择而前途暗淡，一个来自贫民区的孩子也可能因为一系列正确的抉择而挣得一个美好的前途。
不要根据他们所处的环境而妄下判断，而应该根据他们征服环境斗志判断他们。
七、他们向困难妥协了
“对抗从来都是一种生活的一部分。就像我们通过对抗——举起重物——来锻炼身体的肌肉，我们通过战胜挑战和逆境来锻炼我们的意志。”——Stephen R. Covey
首先，你碰到一次机遇。然后，从这个机遇中你看到一幅蓝图。当你尝试实践这个蓝图的时候，你遇到了阻力。勇敢面对挑战，这是一场战争，要么成功，要么失败。
每个人在通向巅峰的路上都要面对挑战。穷人和富人的孩子都要面对各自的问题，你不能断定其中一个比另一个遇到的挫折多，每个人的人生和成功之路都是不同的。
他们所具有的共同点就是成功的机遇。但是，当你努力获取成功的时候，总有各种人和状况从角落里冒出来阻挠你。先天的残疾阻挠你，唠叨的父母阻挠你，悲观的朋友阻挠你，缺乏自信自尊的你也在阻挠你自己，毒瘾也会阻挠你，等等。
那些成功的人都是哪些从不向困难妥协的人。他们从不悲观，他们选择更好的朋友，他们与家庭划清界限，他们积极的面对周围的人和事。
结论
对于任何一个渴望成功的人而言，成功都是可能的。有很多人想成功，但是“想”和“渴望”有很大不同。你必须渴望...
另一件需要你记住的事是，你的观念和你定义成功、机遇、工作的方式是决定你的收获重要因素。
如果你没有成功，要永远关注的第一人首先就是你自己 |
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