父亲的节日

 

父亲的节日
作者:Kevin 

   父亲节准确地说应该叫“贺曼节”。它其实是贺曼明信片公司和其他公司为了赚钱,用父爱做幌子假设出来的一天而已。父亲节没有什么不好,但是在我看来,每天都应该是父亲节,因为,无论你是否喜欢与否,我们每一个人都有自己的父亲。就我而言,我过去喜欢过父亲节,现在依然喜欢这个特殊的节日。

  我的父亲曾经伴随着我成长。我们彼此还算了解,但是了解得还不够深。在我很小的时候,父亲回到中国开始创业,追求他自己的梦想。对于我来说,我很难接受这个事实。起先,我以为时间不会太长,也没有那么复杂,父亲只是暂时离开我,过几年之后他就会永远地回到我的身边。我的想法不对吗?但是我错了,迄今为止,我的父亲仍然还在中国。

 现在,我已经很适应他不在我身边的生活,对未来也不用担心。但是有父亲陪伴在家的感觉,我再也体会不到了,这件事非常困扰我。事实上,我错过了父亲陪伴我成长,以及从父亲那里得着教诲的好时光。在那些艰难的日子里,不仅仅是我陷入痛苦之中,我的妹妹和妈妈也是同样如此。

    当我和妹妹进入初中阶段的时候,我希望他能留下来做我的后盾,我想我妹妹也是如此想法。许多意想不到的事情时时发生,而我却无法阻挡。我跑向父亲,希望从他那里获得智慧,知识,帮助。。。但是这些只是梦幻,他根本就不在我的身边。无法计算有多少次,我和他通过电话交谈,眼泪流过我的面颊,心在隐隐地作痛。我知道,我只能用这种方式和他争吵。

  我从来不怀疑父亲具有独特的幽默感和智慧。虽然在很多时候,他和我们讲话,总好像是在训导他的孩子,就好像他是我们的老师一样,这让我和妹妹很不习惯,感觉他很可笑和无聊,但是,我们私下里不得不承认他讲得很有道理。偶尔,他也会说些俏皮话,表现出他“年轻”的一面,那是因为他想弥补错失和我们在一起的遗憾。这种感觉在电话中无法体会得到,但是当我们彼此都可以看见对方的时候,我却能深深地了解,父亲一如既往地爱着我们,正如我们一如既往地爱着他一样。

 我父亲非常聪明。他从小生长在中国,并且几乎是百里挑一的,从大西北的偏僻小城考进了著名的学府NJ大学读书深造。尽管他拥有博士头衔,也创立了自己的公司,但是我们俩经常平等交流,就像他总是教导我那样,我也教会他许多的事情。我们之间的交谈明朗,深厚,没有任何界限,几乎是无话不谈。有的时候,我们的谈话非常激烈,我的妈妈就坐在餐桌旁,默默地注视着我和父亲之间唇枪舌剑如火化四溅。

   从父亲那里,我学到了做人的道德,生活的窍门,政治和科学的世界观和价值观,但是,对于宗教信仰我觉得我比他理解得更深。 

 正如我天上的父(上帝)把他的精神降临到我的身上那样,我希望自己是天父的使者,把他的精神传递到我地上的父亲身上。我的父亲虽然不是基督徒,但是他也相信有个神灵在他的心灵深处。就在最近,我们两人之间有一场谈话,就讲到了上帝,天堂和传福音。虽然他没有直接说出来,但是他很困惑,不知道为何我的妈妈总是鼓励他去认识主耶稣。我简单地回答了他的疑惑:“因为妈妈爱你,她希望永远陪伴在你的身边。”我就是这样理解的。

 不管是过去还是现在,我的父亲都是在创造历史。我能感受到他正在做一件有价值的事情。当我回顾过去的生活,还有那些忧郁孤独的夜晚,我开始理解父亲所做的都是正确的,或许他自己都不知道他已经小有成就。他不仅在创业的艰难中证明了“我是谁”的自我价值,同时,他潜移默化地把我放进了上帝的计划之中,即上帝也在为我规划人生。

  我的父亲,我的爸爸,他追求着他的梦想,规划着伟大的人生,同时,他也为我以后的人生树立了目标。让我引用我父亲的话:“儿子,你以后会比我成功.相比我和你这样的年龄,你比我更有潜力。”我不知道你是否还记得说过这样的话,爸爸,但是我就是照你的话去那么做的。不远的将来,我将走进大学生活,我会把你的信念作为我的榜样,同时,我也会遵照天父的话去行事:“享受我们的痛苦吧,因为我们知道,这种痛苦会产生毅力,而毅力会产生性格,而性格会产生希望。”

  爸爸,我很感谢你带给我的磨练,尽管这听起来有些莫名其妙不合时宜,但是你确实塑造了我的人生,让我至今都感念在心。在明天,六月二十日这一天,我无法带给你特殊的荣耀,那是因为你每天都在我心中得到爱戴。


 

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Father’s Day

  Written by Kevin Chen


 Father’s Day is indeed a “Hallmark holiday”: aday for the Hallmark Company and other companies to make profit from aseemingly innocent day of fatherly love. Now Father’s Day is not a badday, but it should be celebrated every day. Everybody has a father,whether they like it or not. In my case, I liked and still like it.


   My father and I grew up together, getting to know eachother well, but not well enough. My father went to China to start hisown business, to pursue his dreams, when I was still very young. Forme, it was hard to take in. At first, I thought it would not be toolong and complicated; my father will return permanently in a matter ofyears, right? Wrong, he is still in China today.


 Now I would have been fine with this since heleft to the coming future, but issues and family events conjured upfeelings for my dad I never knew I could feel before. I truly missedhis presence at a time, and needed his fatherly wisdom. It was a toughtime for not only me, but my sister and mom. 


 It was when my sister and I were in middleschool, and middle school is a place I would like to leave behind me. Iwish my sister thinks the same. The events unrolled almosteffortlessly, and I could not stop them. I ran to my father for wisdom,for knowledge, for help. Countless minutes and days wasted over sad andtearful conversations over the phone; I knew it was going to be mybattle to fight.


  I never really doubted my father’s uniquesense of humor and wisdom. He would always speak to his kids as if hewere teaching us, albeit sometimes it was uncomfortable for my sisterand I and at times mind numbingly boring. But he would always speakwith purpose. There were rare times he would say things as if to appealto his children and show his “young” side to us, as if he had aregretful want to make up for his lost years with his children. I didnot know this during the nights over the phone, but now I see that hehas the same feelings of loss and affection towards his children as wehave had towards him.

 

 My father is very intelligent. Growing up inChina, he went to the prestigious Nanjing University from a pool ofhundreds of children in the county side of Ha me. And even though he isaddressed as doctor and owns his own company, I always have somethingto teach him as his teaches me. The conversations we’ve had and willhave are always bright, thick, and unruly conversations. Sometimes wewould become so heated, and my mom would sit with us at lunch, silentlywatching the sparks fly between my father and me. 


   I learned a lot of small morals, techniques, and his pointof views on politics and science and the world. But religion would bemy forte.


 As my heavenly Father sends His spirit down onme, I feel as if I am His messenger towards my earthly father. My daddoes not look and go through his day as if were religious, but God isalways in the back of his mind. Just recently, we had a conversationabout God, heaven, and evangelism. He wondered why, although he did notsay directly, why my mom keeps trying to get him to know the Lord. Ianswered simply, “Because she loves you, and wants to spend eternitywith you”, not knowing that I would think the same later.


  As did my dad make and is still makinghistory, I feel as if he’s doing me justice too. As I look back on mylife and the melancholy nights, I feel that he did the right thing,although he did not know what he has done quite well yet. Not only hashe set off incredible situations that have shaped who I am, but he hasprobably single handedly put me in God’s plan for me.


 My father, my Dad, did the right thing. Hepursued his dreams and is in the process of becoming a great man, buthe has also set me up for later success. I quote my father, “You willbe more successful than me someday, son. You have so much morepotential than I did when I was your age.” I don’t know if you rememberyourself saying it, Dad, but that’s how I took it. And as I am about togo to college, and I will look at what you’ve done, Dad, and what myheavenly Father says, " ... rejoice in our sufferings, because we knowthat suffering produces perseverance, perseverance produces character,and character produces hope." 

 

   Dad, I thank you for the suffering, even though thatsounds out of place, but you truly have shaped my life, and I’menjoying it so far. I won’t give you any special honor tomorrow, June20, 2010, because every day you deserve that honor.

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