今天写给小猪的留言

小猪,我又来听你的歌了,听着听着就哭了。小猪,我爱你,我真的爱你!我知道我对你的爱是一种奢求,你拥有幸福的家庭,无论如何不能破坏你的幸福婚姻。幸福的婚姻是多么得来之不易啊,想着我那不幸的婚姻,就泪流不停。你有宝贝的女儿想着你,有善良勤劳的老婆爱着你,我不能因为自己对你的爱,就去破坏你的幸福家庭,可爱情是自私的,就让我一个人痛苦吧,只要我能承受得住的,一切我都愿意背负。我所处的这种没有爱情的婚姻痛苦的煎熬维系着,没有孩子之前,除了打架,毫无幸福可言,当初因为自己太年轻,幼稚单纯,不懂的太多,就稀里糊涂的结婚,现在想想就后悔,但也于事无补了。孩子是意外怀孕,这是老天的意思吧,唉!怪我当初心软,没有打掉孩子。但那时,我也年龄不小了,如果打掉的话,可能一辈子不能有孩子了。象我现在的经济能力,根本无法抚养儿子,不能给儿子好的生活和接受好的教育,真的离婚,我就会回中国,那我可能永远见不到孩子的,而我不可能再有孩子了,做为母亲这是我最无法忍受的。有些人的人生,象我这样苦命的人,就是无奈和苦难堆积的,但我现在很感恩,我感谢神让我遇到你,我感谢神给我力量承受目前的生活,我感谢全人类,让我听到你的歌声,真的,我也就满足了。说到这里,禁不住泪水。可我战胜了这一切,我现在很充实,很快乐,因为我把一切都交托给了神了。最后祝你们全家新年快乐,新的一年里更加幸福美满,身体健康,事事如意吧!


爱你的小晚 1.22.2011

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