Chapter 26: China
It has been 4 years since Mei went back, and as every time, China looked so different -- nothing liked what she remembered from the time before. The economy grew so fast that new constructions and highways have been spreading and invading the city limit like all tangled up spaghetti noodles, while more readily polluting the already dusted city air. She barely recognized the street in front of her parent’s apartment building, the one she used to ride her bike on millions of times, to school, to the grocery store, to everywhere.
The first thing that always jumped out for her in China was how intimate and familiar it felt to hear her native language everywhere; then it was the smell of food and the landscapes. She missed China, the place she was born and raised, the place where her roots were and what made her who she was right now. Ever since she went abroad her visits back had been pleasant, but not this time.
Her mother ShuLin looked tired and distressed. She was a small lady, about 5 feet 1 and skinny. Her hair had been grey for many years but she had always colored it black religiously, except now. Now her hair had a long root of grey showing and screaming for a touch up. Mei noticed deeper lines and wrinkles on her mother’s face than ever before; and to her surprised, her usual straight line posture had been replaced by a slight hunch back. Mei almost cried to see her mother looking like this but she knew she needed to be strong for her.
“Ma…” She smiled and gave her mother a hug, “How are you?”
“It is good that you are back, your Dad would be really happy to see you.” Her mom took Mei’s hand, looked at her closely, “You look thinner; you need to take care of yourself and eat more. I made your favorite BAOZI, do you want some?”
Like every Chinese women raised in the 50’s, ShuLin dedicated her whole life taking care of other people’s needs – her husband, her kids, her grandkids, just never herself. She was raised in a well off family but everything changed during the culture revolution. She never attended college because of her family background and was sent to the country side for hard labor when she was 16 years old. She considered herself lucky for being one of the few that were able to come back to the city, get married and raise her own kids here. She was never an emotional woman, throughout Mei’s childhood, the only times she saw her mother cry was when her grandparents passed away. Mei understood how much her mother had to endure, and she admired her bravery and courage, at the same time felt so sorry and appreciative for the sacrifice she had laid down for her family.
After quickly settled in Mei went straight to the hospital to visit her Dad. He had been unconscious ever since the stroke. Seeing him laying there with breathing tubes covering his nose and other medical equipments hooked up all over his body was tougher than she thought. In Mei’s mind her Dad had been as healthy and strong as a bull. He was a tall guy and Mei remembered how as a kid she always liked to stand in front of him, fall back and let him catch her, over and over again.
“Ba… I am back… Ba?” Mei sat down next to him and felt the coolness came from his hand, “Ba…” She didn’t know what else to say, she just want him to open his eyes and see her and tell her he’s OK.
“He heard you.” Shulin was standing behind Mei, she put her hand over on Mei’s shoulder and patted it gently, “He talked about you a lot, and you know how he always worried about you most, out of all your sisters…”
Mei couldn’t see clearly anymore, tears had filled her eyes and she tried very hard to restrict them from falling down. She knew how her Dad wanted her to come back and settle down in China like her sisters, but her heart had always belonged far away. She hated herself for not spending more time with him until now, when it was too late.
Later Mei learned that the doctors weren’t sure how long this will last. There might be a slight chance of him waking up but the statistics were not on their side. Right now everything was a waiting game, an expensive waiting game. Their insurance had very limited coverage, and with each day of the medication that’s dripping into his vein, the bills were piling up faster than the rush hour traffic. Mei had brought part of her savings with her and she was prepared to empty her bank account if necessary.
Each day went by slowly as Mei traveled in straight lines between hospital and home. Dan called everyday to check up on her. He wanted to fly back with her as soon as he heard the news but was held back to wait for the visa. He told her to take care of herself and he would come as soon as he could. Mei told her mother about their engagement and what a great guy Dan was. Her mother was of course happy to hear that and was looking forward to meeting him in person.
Jesse called also, only for a couple of times though. He asked how she was. They talked like friends, though not as close as she remembered. He also sounded stressed out but wouldn’t tell Mei what was going on. She asked about work and he told her CMCS was awarded to D&W without a hitch. Mei assumed he’s probably busy because of that.
Somehow being in China and away from everything made Mei missed Jesse more than ever. She wanted to see him and had to stop herself from asking him to come to her. She found herself excited to hear his voice on the phone but felt depressed afterwards. Last time after she talked to him her mother told her: “Cheer up, Dan is coming soon; you will see him in no time.” She then immediately felt guilty and realized she was dangerously close to losing her grip and getting burnt; she remembered what Tammy had warned her about playing with fire. She never mentioned Jesse to her family, mostly because she couldn’t convince herself that there was any future with that, so why made them worry on top of what was already going on. Only at night before she went to bed, she would pray to God for her Dad’s recovery and secretly asked to see Jesse in her dreams.
A couple of weeks passed by just like that, before Mei knew it; she was at the airport picking up Dan. She appreciated Dan leaving his work and flying all the way to China just for support. She also knew that he wanted to meet her family as well; which was completely understandable and right thing to do, but somehow she just didn’t feel ready for it, at least not yet.
Finally she picked Dan out from the crowd; he looked a little tired from the long flight. He waved at Mei and walked over with a small suitcase. He gave Mei a big long hug and asked how she was doing. She assured him she’s all right and asked about his flight. Strangely their conversation was warm and comfortable, made her felt like they have been married for a long time.
Dan told her that his work only gave him one week and he will be staying at a nearby hotel. Mei thought that was better because there was just too much going on at the moment that she didn’t want to put anymore burden of having a guest over onto her mother.
As their cab drove slowly down the congested airport highway, Mei pointed out different landmarks of Beijing that she still remembered. This was Dan’s first time visiting China and he looked excited and amazed at what he was seeing. He showed Mei an app that he downloaded that translates simple English sentences into Chinese just like that. Mei was about to tell him that now he wouldn’t need her as his personal translator when she heard her phone rang.
She looked at the number, it was from oversees, she hesitated at answering.
“Who was it? Aren’t you going to pick up?” Dan asked while trying to dig through his backpack for something.
Mei gave it some thought, and then almost reluctantly she hit the mute button to silence the ring: “It’s OK, probably nothing important. So when would you like to meet my family?”
