1 亚历山大大帝 Alexander the Great
Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation，and the doctor，somewhat nettled，said:“Landon，you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject. You seem to lack ambition.Why，at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world.
兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵。教授有点不悦，对他说道:“兰登，你在这门课上好像进步不大，你好像缺乏志向。亚历山大大帝在你这个年龄可已经征服了半个世界。”
"Yes，”said Landon，"he couldn’t help it，for you will recall the fact, doctor, that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.”
“是啊，”兰登说，“他没法不那样。教授先生，您回想一下史实，亚历山大大帝有亚里士多德做他的老师。”
2 你输了 You've Lost
On her return from school，little Dolly, aged ten，was pulled on to her Daddy's knee，and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise-a little baby brother.She seemed glad，and presently said:
放学回到家里，十岁的小多莉被拉过来坐在她爸爸的膝上，她被告知那天仙女们带来了一个大大的惊奇—一个婴儿小弟弟。她似乎很高兴，马上说:
"Will you give me a stamp，daddy?I want to write and tell brother Tom.
“爸爸，你能不能给我一张邮票?我要写信告诉汤姆哥哥。”
The father was touched by this，and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother，who was away at school.Later，curious to know how she would tell the news，he took an opportunity to read what she had written.He received something of a shock on reading the following:
父亲被这话感动了，他为小姑娘提供了给她哥哥写信所需的各种用具，她的哥哥住在学校里。后来，想知道她是怎么报告这个消息的，他找机会读了她写的信。在读到下面这两行字时，他差点儿惊呆了:
“Dear Tom,
“亲爱的汤姆:
It's come off today.You've lost;it's a boy.”
今天结果出来了，你输了;是个男孩。”
3 诗人的名字 The Name of a Poet
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.
我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。
“It works like this，”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns，for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman，a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”
“这个系统是这样的，”她说。“假定你要记住一个诗人的名字一一例如，要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯。“让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象，燃烧着的警察。明白吗?警察燃烧!”
“I see what you mean”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”
“我明白你的意思，”班上的万事通说。“但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢?”
4 作文 Essay
Teacher had set his class an essay in "A Game of Cricket".After two minutes Simon Steel handed his paper in and was allowed to go home.
老师给学生出了个作文题:“一场板球赛”。两分钟后，西蒙·斯蒂尔交了作文，老师允许他回家了。
His essay read:"Rain， stopped play."
他在作文上写道:“下雨，比赛中止。”
5 除了音乐都好 Except The Music
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music，so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert.To make the occasion even more memorable，she treated everybody to lemonade，cake，chocolates and ices.
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点经典的古典音乐，就安排了一场下午的音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水，吃蛋糕、巧克力和冰激凌。
Just as the party was getting back into their coach，she said to little Sally，“Have you enjoyed yourself today?”
在回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨利:“你今天玩得好吗?”
"Oh，yes，miss”said Sally，“It was lovely.All except the music，that is.”
“噢，好极了，老师，”萨利说，“除了音乐其他都好。”
6 一次物理考试 A Physics Examination
Once in a physics examination，Nick finished the first question very soon，while his classmates were thinking it hard.
在一次物理考试中当同学们都还在苦思冥想时，尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。
The question was: when it thunders why we see the lightning first，then hear the thunder rolls?
这个问题是:为什么在打雷时，我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?
Nick’s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
尼克的回答是:因为眼睛在前，耳朵在后。
(from internet)
