笑话翻译: 律师和医生

有个律师找不到工作, 就开了一家私人诊所, 放了块牌子在外面, 上写"病治好付$300, 治不好退$1000"。
有个医生看到了这块牌子, 心想这是个挣钱的好机会, 就决定去一趟律师的诊所。
医生: 我失去味觉了, 吃饭嘴里没味。
律师: 护士, 把22号盒的药拿来给病人嘴里滴三滴。
病人(医生): 靠, 这是汽油!
律师: 恭喜你, 你嘴里的味觉恢复了。 付我$300吧。
医生只好付了钱, 很不爽地走了。几天后又回到诊所, 打算把损失的钱补回来。
医生: 我失去了记忆,  什么都记不住。
律师: 护士, 把22号盒的药拿来给病人嘴里滴三滴。
医生: 靠, 这是上次治味觉的药!!!
律师: 恭喜你, 你的记忆恢复了。付我$300吧。
医生只好付了钱, 愤怒地离开了。几天后又回到诊所。
医生: 我的视力很差。
律师: 抱歉我没有什么药治这个病。这是退你的$1000....
医生: 可这只是$500!
律师: 恭喜你, 你的视力恢复了。 付我$300吧, 赶紧的!

A lawyer can't find work, so he opens a private clinic. Outside the clinic, he puts a sign, which reads: "$300 if cured; if not, I will return $1000 to you." A doctor sees this sign and thinks this would be an easy way to make money. So, he walks into the clinic.

Doctor: I've lost my sense of taste; I can't taste anything I eat.
Lawyer: Nurse, please get the medicine no. 22 and drop a few into the patient's mouth.
Doctor: Bleh! That's gasoline!
Lawyer: Congratulations! Your sense of taste has returned! That'll be $300.
Reluctantly, the doctor paid up. A few days later, however, he returned to the clinic, hoping to get his money back.
Doctor: I've lost my memory; I can't remember anything.
Lawyer: Nurse, please get medicine no. 22 and drop a few into the patient's mouth.
Doctor: Hey! This is last time's taste medicine!
Lawyer: Congratulations! Your memory has returned! That'll be $300.
The doctor can only pay up and left angrily.  A few days later, he returned to the clinic.
Doctor: I've lost my eyesight.
Lawyer: Sorry, but I have no cure for this illness. Here's $1000.
Doctor: But there's only $500 here!
Lawyer: Congratulations! Your eyesight has returned! That'll be $300.