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I lost my faith in God when I retired, says Olympic hero Jonathan Edwards
By MALCOM FOLLEY - More by this author »

Last updated at 11:45am on 11th June 2007

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Jonathan Edwards has spoken for the first time about his crisis of faith and how it plunged his family into despair.

Just four months ago the former athlete - whose father is a vicar - quit as a presenter of the BBC’s Songs Of Praise, saying he no longer believed in God.

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Olympic hero Edwards has lost his faith in God

The 41-year-old Olympic champion admitted he still struggled over his loss of faith and even occasionally went to church with his wife Alison, a committed Christian.

Edwards, who once refused to compete in an Olympic trial on a Sunday, said: I don’t claim to fully understand what I am feeling other than to acknowledge that something I never doubted - God - I have huge doubts about now.

This is a hugely complex and deeply personal issue. I am sure there are a lot of things people think but will never say to me. I am who I am, regardless of whether I believe or not.

I think a basic sense of morality is shared by people of all faiths and none.

It would be stupid for me to sit here and say that losing my faith didn’t have anything to do with my retirement.

Perhaps I had been shielded from doubt because I had such a highly focused life as an athlete.

Then I asked a few questions that I hadn’t asked before. Retirement is very traumatic.

You stop doing what you love, what you are very good at, the thing that has given you your identity.

You have to start again. At a time when your contemporaries are nearing the peak of their professional lives, you are over the hill.

How do you prepare for life after being an athlete?

No one gives you a job and you don’t necessarily have the skills needed.

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Edwards\' glittering career on track has been matched by his accolades off track, including BBC Sports Personality of the Year (1995), the IAFF\'s Athlete of the Year (1995) and a CBE in the New Years Honours List (2000)

While Alison brings up the couple’s two sons, Sam, 13, and Nathan, ten, at their six-bedroom home in Gosforth, near Newcastle, Edwards spends some time each month on business in London.

Since his retirement he has become one of the BBC’s key sports commentators and is on the board of the London Olympics.

Did the change of lifestyle, allowing him more freedom to socialise, make an impact on his loss of faith?

Not at all, said Edwards. I’m not a massive socialiser.

But I cannot help it if I was stereotyped as a strait-laced Christian - that was because no one really knew me.
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