幽默笑话集锦 (3)

如果你不幸进来了,你会失望。如果在这里,你学到点什么,或有什么感受,那更是浪费你的时间了,咳,咳!
打印 被阅读次数

(九)


一老头晚上睡不着,想起一件事,给儿子打电话,不一会他紧张地对老太说:“坏了!咱儿子出事了。”

老太忙问:“怎么回事?”

老头继续道:“我给他打电话,老是一个女的来接,瞎说什么‘你拨打的电话已关机。’手机关了,那她怎么能听到我的声音?哼,她不敢跟我多搭腔,可我一听就听出来不是我们儿媳妇的声音,你说黑更半夜地,这女的在他那儿还会有好事吗?!”


(十)


摸奖

一日,一个摸奖摊位前,人们正兴致勃勃的刮纸片摸奖。

一个摸奖者忽然大声喊到:“我是毛驴!我是毛驴!”敇

此时一个工作人员大声回应道:“喊什么?喊什么?是牲口都有奖!”


(十一)


一个小伙子趁周末去打高尔夫,正巧遇到一个老者邀他一起玩,小伙欣然同意了。

玩起来以后,出乎小伙的意料,老者玩得很利索。八个洞下来,两人几乎是平手。

打第九个洞时,小伙的第一杆将球击到了一棵大树的后面。小伙看这棵树很高大浓密,就想分两杆将球打出去。

老者过来看了看,对小伙说:“我在你这个年龄时,我是一杆子击球从树顶上飞过去的。”

于是小伙决定接受老者的挑战,用尽力气挥杆击球,可是球打在了树干上,又弹回到原地。

这时老者又说了,“当然,我在你这个年龄时,这棵树是两米高。”


(十二)


一所高中里,不少女同学利用课间隙去洗手间化妆。化妆完毕她们很习惯地将嘴唇按在镜子上留下她们的朱唇印。可是清洗掉这些唇印是很麻烦的事情,为此校长三番五次的要求女学生们不要这么做,可是唇印还是经常出现。

这一天,校长在放学后将所有化了妆的女学生们留下来,集中在女厕所里。然后校长请来清洁工清洗唇印。只见那清洁工拿了一把刷子,在抽水马桶里蘸了蘸水,就在镜子上刷了起来。

直看得女生们一阵阵的恶心,女厕所镜子上的唇印从此就消失了。

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