Somebody sent me the link to a letter written by Trouble, the Maltese Terrier that received $12 million from Leona Helmsley after the ‘Queen of Mean’ passed away.
It goes like this -
Members of the House Staff,
As you have heard, Mrs. Helmsley left me a trust fund worth $12 million so you’ll excuse me if it appears I’m not listening to anything you guys say from this point forward.
Oh, by the way, effective immediately I’ll pee anywhere I damn well please.
There’s gonna be some new rules around here. For starters, dinner will be in my bowl at exactly 5:00 pm. Not 5:01. Got that? All table scraps will be given to me, not the cat. If I ever see table scraps in the cat’s dish the entire kitchen staff will be fired. Also, the cat doesn’t eat until I’m finished. If she doesn’t like that rule she’s free to file a complaint from whatever shelter she ends up being dropped off at.
Another rule: No more continue reading….
Great job, Animal Internet.
I just wish I had this much insight sometimes into what I was thinking.
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