M
arge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa. Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room
Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides,every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of mybrain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgothow to drive?
Bart: Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
Homer: Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl.
Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy.
Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Mr. Burns: I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion.Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish tosucceed in business.
Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
