今天一天都心情低落，恍惚得很，难以工作。这都是缘于昨天晚上的风暴。我对我自己的坏脾气感到非常失望，也对伤害父母的情感到愧疚。我的坏脾气是不是真的不可救药了？
昨晚，我们去参加老公的公司的圣诞PARTY。由于不能带小孩，我把西西从幼儿园接回来后，只好把他放在家里，让爸妈看着。（他们帮我看老二）。谁知我们回来后，一进门，妈妈就告状，说西西把一包爆米花都塞到沙发里去了。我一看，客厅的地上到处是POPCORN。天那，我那套意大利真皮沙发上，不仅油迹斑斑，用手一摸，垫子下全塞进了一把一把的爆米花！垫子是拿不下来的，这算毁了！我的声音对着爸妈高了起来。我不明白，他们为什么不STOP他？这么多显然不是一下子就能塞进去的。噼里啪啦，我越说越气。又把西西抓过来，狠打了几下屁股。屋子里立刻鬼哭狼嚎。父母看着我打西西，就更气了，一路吵着“让我们回去，不在这儿受罪”气上楼去。
我为什么那么容易发怒？Where does my anger come from? Google到这样一篇-
“People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.
What makes these people this way? A number of things. One cause may be genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Another may be sociocultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.
Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.”
过去的已经过去，研究什么原因导致了我的易怒性格意义不大。重要得是寻求改变。看看网上各种各样的anger management 信息，就知道有多少人在寻求帮助。我也是身在其中，而且是desperate的一个。长久以来，易怒的个性，不仅伤害着家人，也伤害着我自己。我痛恨它！我的计划是，1.心里常常祷告，希望神改变我。2.公司的EAP可以用来见心理医生，我要约一个appointment, 试试心理治疗 .3. 看self help的书，比如：Stop anger, be Happy 。我给自己3个月的时间，到时候，再来汇报结果。大家有什么好的治疗办法的，请SHARE.先谢了。
