Why God Failed His Ph.D.?
1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a referred journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the Book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.
17. He might be the first scholar to use the stem cell approach (a bone) for the purpose of creating life, the practice of which was banned by the Bush administration.
18. He created regional conflicts at the Holy city Jerusalem, which lasted centuries and prevented his defence of the thesis entitled Peace Loving.
19. He discourages independant thinking, which is contrary to what a Ph.D. is all about. That's the last straw!
20. Being the God, he does not need a Ph.D. title!
This is only a joke, which is more an indictment of the tenure system anyway. Do not take it too seriously. Think about it: If even the mighty God could not get a Ph.D., let alone a tenureship, what would be the chance for a muggle like me?
As I said before, I have no problem with anyone who has faith in either God or science, or both. Afterall, laughter is the best medicine in the real world without much of side effect. Live in peace.
