Rejection: Some Colleges Do It Better Than Others
By SUE SHELLENBARGER
Members of this year's record-size high-school graduating class applied to more colleges than ever -- and now, that's resulting in a heavier than usual flurry of rejection letters.
Hundreds of students at high schools from Newton, Mass., to Palo Alto, Calif., have created cathartic "Wall of Shame" or "Rejection Wall" displays of college denial letters. On message boards at CollegeConfidential.com, students critique, attack and praise missives from various schools, elevating rejection-letter reviews to a sideline sport.
You're Rejected
A sampling of some of the cruelest and kindest rejection letters from colleges and universities.
![[Rejected]](http://s.wsj.net/public/resources/images/OB-DO632_reject_D_20090428175936.jpg)
Click to see a sampling of the rejection letters.
Even with impressive test scores and grades, abundant extracurricular activities, good recommendations and an admission essay into which "I poured myself heart and soul," Daniel Beresford, 18, of Fair Oaks, Calif., netted 14 rejection letters from 17 applications, he says. Among the denials: Harvard, Yale, Johns Hopkins and the University of Chicago. (He's bound for one of his top choices, Pepperdine University.) When he "realized it was going to be so much harder this year," he started calling in reinforcements, asking teachers and friends to open the rejections for him.
Here, based on my own highly unscientific survey of actual letters, student interviews and message boards, are my picks for this year's most noteworthy college rejection letters -- and the liveliest response by a student.
Toughest: Bates College, Lewiston, Maine. Most rejection letters, in an effort to soften the blow, follow a pattern: We're sorry, we had a huge applicant pool, all our applicants were terrific, we wish we could admit everyone. Bates, a competitive, 1,700-student college, expresses its regrets to rejected applicants and praises its applicant pool. But it delivers a more direct, and perhaps more honest, message: "The deans were obliged to select from among candidates who clearly could do sound work at Bates," the letter says.
The letter touched off a chorus of moans online. One recipient, a 17-year-old high-school student from California, says it "implied that you had been rejected because you s-." Bates Dean of Admissions Wylie Mitchell acknowledges that he had one applicant "take me to task for such an abrupt letter." But he says he carefully considered how to convey respect for applicants and decided that brevity is the best route. The letter aims to clarify that Bates is "denying the student's application, and not rejecting the student," Mr. Mitchell says. He doesn't see counseling recipients as the role of college deans.
Stanford University sends a steely "don't call us" message embedded in its otherwise gentle rejection letter. In addition to asserting that "we are humbled by your talents and achievements" and assuring the applicant that he or she is "a fine student," the letter says, "we are not able to consider appeals." It links to a Q&A that reiterates: "Admission decisions are final and there is absolutely no appeal process." It also discourages attempts to transfer later, an even more competitive process. One recipient, whose heart had long been set on Stanford, cried for hours, her mother says, after interpreting the letter as, "we never want to hear from you again so don't bother."
Stanford admissions dean Richard Shaw says the ban on appeals is necessary because other California universities allow appeals and families assume Stanford does too. Even after sending that firm message, Stanford, which has an admission rate of 7.6%, still gets about 200 attempted appeals. "We care deeply about the repercussions" of the letter, Mr. Shaw says, but "there's no easy way to tell someone they didn't make it."
Kindest: Harvard College. Despite an estimated admission rate of about 7% this year, this hotly sought-after school sends a humble rejection letter.
"Past experience suggests that the particular college a student attends is far less important than what the student does to develop his or her strengths and talents over the next four years."
"I didn't feel a teensy bit bitter about" it, says recipient Evelyn Anne Crunden, 18. Instead, the letter's "warm and apologetic tone ... made me feel proud for having even applied."
Duke University, Durham N.C., also drew raves for a gracious missive emphasizing that it's not passing judgment on individuals, but trying to put together a well-rounded class. Undergraduate admissions dean Christoph Guttentag won particular praise from students and parents for the line, "I know you will find an institution at which you will be happy; I know, too, that the school you choose will benefit from your presence." Says Mr. Beresford, who was one of the 18,000 recipients: "It made me feel like I was a good applicant, not just another rejection."
Mr. Guttentag says he's had particular empathy for rejected applicants since his own daughter was rejected by several kindergartens four years ago. "We know we're imparting bad news, and we just want to make it as human as we can," he says.
Most Confusing: University of California, San Diego. Officials there rejected 29,000 candidates not once, but twice. After sending a first round of rejections, they accidentally sent all 47,000 applicants, including those who had been denied, an email invitation to an open house for admitted students: "We're thrilled that you've been admitted ... join us this Saturday ... and get a glimpse of the powerful combination that can be you plus UC San Diego." The errant message raised some false hopes. "It would be cool if this means they changed their decision," one rejected applicant says he thought.
Less than two hours later came 29,000 re-rejections. "We deeply regret this mistake, because we understand the level of distress it has caused" for many, university officials wrote. "We continue to wish you success." The admissions staff worked all night and through the next two days, making and taking calls, to straighten things out, a spokeswoman says. "We would never intentionally confuse students."
Another surprise package came from Penn State, which sent the hoped-for "fat envelope" with a rejection letter inside. Applicants who receive a fat envelope assume they've been admitted. But Penn State sends a fat envelope to students who have been denied admission to its biggest campus, at University Park, Pa. One mother says her daughter was "so excited then ... No!" She adds, "I had to pick her up off the floor."
The envelope contains information on others among Penn State's 20 campuses where the student is invited to enroll, with the right to transfer later to University Park, says admissions executive Anne Rohrbach. "We've had some people not laugh about that," she concedes. "We don't see them as denials," she says, but as invitations to qualified students the university would like to enroll elsewhere.
Most Discouraging: Boston University. To students who have family ties to the university, its letter begins: "We give special attention to applicants whose families have a tradition of study at Boston University. We have extended this consideration in the evaluation of your application, but I regret to inform you that we are unable to offer you admission." Consideration of family legacies is common practice at many universities. But Rob Flaherty, 17, a North Reading, Mass., recipient, said he felt the wording in BU's letter translated to "we made it even easier for you and you STILL couldn't get in." Admissions head Kelly Walter says BU tries to deliver such bad news "with as much sensitivity as possible." Most applicants appreciate an acknowledgement of their family ties, she says, and she regrets that "our efforts fall short with some."
Biggest Spin: Numerous colleges spin the data in their rejection letters as a well-intentioned way of comforting denied students. University of California, Davis, says it had "42,000 applicants from which UC Davis could enroll a freshman class of 4,600." This implies an 11% acceptance rate. Its actual admission rate is closer to 50%, because many accepted candidates ultimately enroll elsewhere.
UC Davis undergraduate admissions director Pamela Burnett says most applicants understand that actual enrollment rates vary and she hasn't received any complaints that the language is misleading.
Best Coaching: Mount Allison University, Sackville, New Brunswick. This 2,200-student institution added handwritten notes to almost all the 600 denial letters it sent this year, explaining areas of weakness, such as math grades or English skills. The personal detail, says Ron Byrne, a vice president who oversees admissions, helps students understand "it's not a rejection of them, and they know very concretely some of the things they can do" to improve their chances if they apply again.
Best Student Response: Living well. As the rejections sunk in, many students rebounded to console each other. After getting rejections from Harvard and Yale, Isaac Chambers, 17, Champaign, Ill., a top student, track athlete, student-government leader and an editor of his school's online newspaper, posted these words of advice for other rejected candidates on CollegeConfidential.com: "When you're in the dough," he wrote, "fax the colleges that denied you a copy of your rejection letter every day -- letting them know just how badly they screwed up."
- For commentary on college rejection and other work-family issues, see our blog, TheJuggle.com. Email sue.shellenbarger@wsj.com.
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All the comments:
todays kids have to get over this stuff. Most all of students past and present got rejection letter from their favorite school (including yours truely), but picked themselves up by the bootstraps and moved forward. It's no more an emotional issue now than it was 30 years ago. 20 years from now, it won't matter one bit where you got accepted. Enjoy the time at one of the schools you did get into, and move on.
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Maturity takes time to develop. They got a broken heart, and at their young age, they need a moment to learn to cope. Pain and failure are best teachers. But only those who endure the hurt fully can learn from it. It builds character. Ignoring our responses will keep us from growing up. They are young with little life burden, what's the hurry with the "bootstrap" and "snap out of it" stuff?
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Agreed. Rejection is a necessary evil in the world and a part of life. College is to help prepare students for the "real world" and this rejection is just one of those early steps in that preparation. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.
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"It's all in the game, yo" (Omar, "The Wire," HBO).
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You're right Richard. My son is in college now, and my daughter is going in this fall. Both of them received their share of rejection letters. As parents we hate to see our kids hurt - especially the girls - but rejection is a part of life. The rejections have been made harder to accept, though, because of a society that encourages everyone to think of themselves as victims, and to discourage personal responsibility.
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I wish US colleges lift the admission criteria greatly. College is not for everyone.
Lijian, you are correct. Going into a trade has no shame attached to it. Besides, most colleges only teach theory rather than practical applications. Chef school is a good example where folks actually learn how to run a kitchen and practical business applications. My undergraduate experience was a bit of a letdown. I went to college later in life and could have taught most of the technical classes I needed to graduate. I needed the piece of paper on the wall to get the job I wanted. Grad school was different. I really enjoyed the challenge and debate the theories.
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I often wonder how long it will take for this to become widely accepted as fact. A very large fraction of people that go to university these days (30%, 50%?) would be far better off economically bypassing the whole silly process and learning a skill that consumers actually value. Just check how much your plumber/builder/electrician charges per hour, estimate how much he/she makes a year, and then compare that to the salaries paid by the unimpressive office jobs that so many graduates go into.
As for the non-economic benefits of a degree, I think a lot of people would benefit more by reading good books than attending the sociology/pyschology/humanites guff that is so prevalent in today's university.
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I'd have to agree with Lijian, too many colleges accept students they know won't complete a degree to fund a host of activities that aren't congruent with what should be these institutions' mission: to educate tomorrow's leaders.
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As the parent of a college student I can tell you that the process is not at all clear to the student and that the expectations on both parties parts are not always appropriate. This is where knowing your children comes into play, as well as other factors such as maturity and academic ability. The level of expectations for many colleges and universities are so low that they have to test incoming Freshman for intact basic skills. Before applying willy-nilly to the high profile schools, look carefully at what skill set your child already has, and be realistic. Ask this question, "what is the value of a college education." If it's to be a place to keep your child until they are mature, then save your dough and go to a two year school first.
Never gave it much thought before...yet, getting rejected at college is on the same (emotional) level as a job rejection. One could argue that this rejection exercise is 'Good Training.'
On the other hand, this rejection has a really deep (negative) affect upon the candidate's psyche. Bravo to the schools that handle this with sensitivity. -- eResumes4Vips
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Especially considering a job search is much worse.
The letters, when they're actually sent, don't usually say much more than "you didn't get the job, but good luck in your search" (and the second part isn't even always there). In many cases it's the passage of time which alerts one that a particular job prospect didn't pan out. The worst college rejection letter is far more palatable to waiting two weeks or so and hearing nothing, calling and getting the runaround, etc.
I realize these are children coming out of high school who may not have the experience/maturity to deal with this situation, but rejection is a major part of life, especially when it comes to one's career. Better for them to start learning their lesson now, while the only repercussions are that now you have to go to this school instead of that school, as opposed to later when the stakes are much higher.
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You got that right. When I finished graduate school, I sent out 200+ resumes, and mostly got NOTHING back, and most of the places that did respond sent out form letters that indicated that they hadn't even read my resume. At the same time, the guys in my class that went into academia had even worse experiences. This was a lot harder to live through than not getting into Harvard but getting accepted at Penn... But now that I have kids nearing college age, I doubt that I'll be as reasonable about it as I should when they get rejected.
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I agree Andre to first statement. I agree with Lijian Chen above also.
I disagree with second statement that we need to be more sensitive. It is life. Life is hard. Too often now we have become soft and more worried about how someone feels, and while in a personal relationship this is good, getting to a college is not personal. It is just business.
There is something to be said about perserverance and tenacity and if parents are NOT teaching their kids about those character traits...shame on them, maybe they were babied and coddled too much themselves.
Lets be accountable and learn to just keep trying.
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That final comment is hysterical. Do you think it would be acceptable to do that to women who have rejected me as well? He will be faxing Yale and Harvard while crying his little eyes out. These kids need to learn to have confidence in themselves beyond what an admissions committee has to say...
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I think you're taking the comment too literally. The point is that the best revenge is living well.
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It's a good thought to get you through the rejection at the time it happens; once these students have graduated from wherever they ended up going, gotten jobs & tasted some success in life, writing "how ya like me now?!" letters to those schools that rejected them will probably seem a lot less important, if they even think of it at all.
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cry me a river.. tis not the end of the world apply somewhere else.. and make a name for your self.
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Brandon is spot on. I would love to see a study published from universities that tracks the progress of their admitted students versus their rejected students. We may be surprised to see that the "success" rate between the two groups is equal.
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With you Brandon. I have many clients who never attended college who make lots more money than those that did, they are self starters and business owners. Even though this post is about rejection from your desired college we need to also consider REJECTION. Edison never gave up...
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There have been such studies. Generally "going to college" vs not makes a difference (although it's on average), but there is NO difference between people that get accepted to Harvard and then go vs. those accepted who don't go. So a kid that is perfectly qualified to go to a particular college but doesn't get accepted will have the same future as one that gets in.
It's all marketing. All universities say that they are unique, but, in reality, they are all pretty much the same. It's the student that makes it happen, or not. So, apply to those schools that you think you will do well in and will cost the least.
As to the top end schools, they have their own problems. Witness the question that a professor asked of his Harvard student: "Would you get a Harvard education and a degree from elsewhere or an education from elsewhere and a Harvard degree?" Again, it's all marketing.
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I agree. I can´t help but recall the famous Harvard bar scene from Good Will Hunting. Matt Damon dresses down the guy and informs him that he is spending hundred´s of thousands of dollars on an education that he could get for free at the public library.
Wise up everyone. Education is a seller´s market and they are ripping us off.
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Lawrence, you are the man. You sound like my clients who are all doing well regardless of educamacation and what junibersity they went to. Funny about ripping us off, I concur.
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They aren't doing it at the point of a gun. But I doubt that the Harvard classes are worth it for most of the people that go there. However, I went to a fancy university for grad school, and I've been very surprised over the years how often the connections that I made in grad school affected my career. I went to a not prestigious HUGE state school as an undergraduate , and I've never gotten any benefit from being an alumnus of it. Being taught by a Nobel Prize winner certainly matters if you are a future Nobel Prize winner, but if you are going to go to have a routine medical practice, or become a corporate lawyer, or mid-level engineer someplace, then the standard classes at Purdue or Ohio State are fine (and they have Nobel caliber people at such schools, too, you just have to seek them out). But the big-name international-brand universities do a great job of collecting concentrations of people that will be very successful in the future, and those personal connections are harder to make when instead of every 10th person at school with you being a winner it's every 100th (or maybe the fractions are 1% vs. .1%, I don't know). So it's a tough call, and I expect to encourage my kids to go to "world-famous-U", although whether or not they'll get in, or go if they do, is another matter.
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Mr. Sexton makes a very good point---the big name school is often way more important for your grad or professional degree than your undergrad. I'm always a bit confused by people who paid a whole lot to go to Yale, etc. for undergrad and end up with loads of loans and in little different position than someone who might have gone to a very good state school. While some might say that the alumni networks matter---again, I think it's more pertinent to a grad degree. Also, there are plenty of people who come out of top colleges that don't know how to network, thus they lose one of the biggest assets of their attendance.
Somebody help me with the math here. The article states:
University of California, Davis, says it had "42,000 applicants from which UC Davis could enroll a freshman class of 4,600." This implies an 11% acceptance rate. Its actual admission rate is closer to 50%...
4,600 is 50% of 9,200… so what does the 9,200 represent?
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That whole passage is badly written.
I think the 4,600 is the 11% of 42,000 (4,620 to be precise).
I'm guessing what they mean is that they admit (close to) 21,000 out of 42,000 applicants and actually end up with 4,600 because the rest ultimately choose other schools.
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I understand it as such: UC Davis accepts 50% of the 42,000 applicants to eventually get a 4,600 freshman class. This means that 78% of accepted students went somewhere else (?) I believe colleges accept applicants in waves, with waiting lists to fill open spots.
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Yep. Sort of like airlines delibrately overbooking flights to guarantee a full plane.
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While I tend to agree with Mr. Cupidon and Mr. Nelson, the article, which is poorly edited as so many articles seem to be nowadays at the WSJ, is the result of the following:
Applicants x admit rate x matriculation rate = enrollment
In this case, applicants are 42,000, the enrollment is 4,600, and the admit and matriculation rates are X and Y respectively. The lower the X and the higher the Y, the better off you are in the rankings sweepstakes. In fact, I'd say that the matriculation rate may be the best indicator of a school's "perceived quality" (note, I said perceived, and not actual.)
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Alfonso was admitted to Harvad, so he was one of the Actual. : ) jk bro
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Alfonso is right. I have heard the matriculation rate called "yield." Schools want their yield to be high because it is a perceived indicator of quality. It's a difficult numbers game that is getting harder for schools as students apply to more and more colleges. Some of the schools my daughter was accepted to and turned down are asking her to explain why. They want to get better at admitting only those kids that will enroll which will keep their yield high.
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Aaron, I agree -- it's not clear. I think it means they need to offer admission to about 21,000 applicants (an admission rate of 50%) before they finally get 4,600 students who show up in September. But that looks unlikely; perhaps the quote is wrong.
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The quote is probably correct. For applicants to the University of California system, a student may choose to apply to a number of the UC's at once. Davis, though a quality school, may not be as desirable as its sister programs such as Berkeley. This should explain the low matriculation rate.
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College rejections are a training experience for the rest of the rejections we inevitably get throughout our lives. However, being one of the biggest and first, it stands out. However as has been amply said, "get over it and move on". The sky hasn't fallen.
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Get used to it, my digital generation friends. And wait until the job market rejects you, then you'll REALLY have something to cry about.
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Get used to it my digital generation friends, and wait until the job market rejects you, you'll REALLY have something to cry about!
Oh boy, this new generation seems to be more thin-skinned than ever. Good luck managing this over-sensitive kids when they join the job market. Oh, but they know how to "multi-task" better than us...
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I have them in my classes, and they are no more thin skinned than other generations that I have had. What they are is a LOT more competitive, hence why they may feel worse that previous generations. I think it's due to the globalization of jobs and work permits.
I tell my students, only in half jest, to "follow the path of the buddha". They will be happier, more fulfilled, and healthier.
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One peeve of mine (and this also applies to "customer no-service" letters) is the use of the terms "cannot" or "unable". Both of these terms imply a lack of choice on the part of the rejector. While this can be true in some cases, most of the time these terms are used as weasel words disavowing responsibility instead of using "will not" or "unwilling", respectively.
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Astonishing!!! That any collection of students who didn't get into HARVARD would whine about the quailty of the rejection letter employed to tell them so!
A REJECTION LETTER, reads, oddly enough (no matter how 'sensitively," written), YOU are not going to attend college here; you do not have a RIGHT to attend college here; and, oh, by the WAY, we have selected applicants we believe can both succeed here and add to the expeience OTHERS will have here!
Frankly, Harvard, Yale, etc. would simply be better off holding a lottery versus "pretending," to select an entering class. They admit perhaps 3000 students each, and I am willing to bet that something like 3000 students apply with PERFECT high school records, and another 3000 (perhaps the same ones) are class valedectorians, and still another 3000 (again, perhaps the same cohort) have SAT's (for the two tests that matter) greater than 1400 in aggregate.
If you aren't in that sort of a refined group; already published; already well known (i.e. Chelsea Clinton); or a member of an under-represented group (still an issue, alas), you haven't a prayer!
And you, collectively, are surprised by this?
Perhaps the Ivy League would be a stretch for you, especially if the word 'no,' - however sweetly or briefly delivered - is so incomprehensible! Better yet, perhaps we need to come to grips with our 'feel-good," society at last??
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Here is the correct verbiage for a Rejection letter:
Dear Applicant,
Your application has been denied. There is no appeal. Good luck with your search for a college, you may want to check with The Princeton Review.
Good Day,
The Ivy League School you thought you wanted
here is acceptance:
Dear Applicant:
You have met the criteria for acceptance into our college. Congratulations, please contact
so and so.
Best regards,
The Best School for you.
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I have to say that it really matters what you make of you college experience, more than what college you go to. Especially for undergraduates.
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While a rejection is always disappointing, I think we are asking for trouble when we ask the kids (and their parents) to look for some kind of an affirmation in a form rejection letter, no matter how politely written, that presumably thousands others received!
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Years ago, the University of Indiana at Bloomington rejected my application for graduate (after losing my transcripts three times and my letters of recommendation twice). The letter had two typographical errors and one horridly constructed sentence.
I redlined it, and mailed it back to the school along with a copy of my admissions letter to the University of Chicago. Didn't get me into IU, but I sure felt better. -
i know the conversation has moved on a bit but just wanted to go back to the admission rates. What they are saying is that 42,000 people applied and from those 4,600 were accepted. However only 2,300 will actually be admitted because about half will end up going to another school.
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I'm sorry Megan but you're the one who has it wrong. The most recent information (2007) from the US News Best Colleges report shows that UC Davis accepted 58 percent of those who applied. Applying that percentage to this year's applicant pool means that about 24,000 were accepted. Of that group only about 1 in 5 accepted students will choose to attend UC Davis. Colleges know roughly what this ratio is for them from experience, and accept the number of students which, after the "melt," provides them with the freshman class size they desire.
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hey just a little correction, Penn State University, is not located at University Park, Pa (which doesn't even exist), it's located at State College, Pa. i believe University Park, Pa might be a reference to College Park, Md where Maryland University is located.
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The address of The Pennsylvania State University is most certainly, University Park. Anyone who has been there or is a graduate knows that. There is no such institution as Maryland University. It's called University of Maryland.
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I definitely don't recommend faxing colleges a copy of your rejection letter, since that might hurt your appearance if you try to reapply for the next semester. Overall, be mindful of the institution to which you are applying and how they treat you throughout the admission process. It could be an indication of how you will be treated as a paying student! Sometimes a rejection notice can be a blessing in disguise.
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Most of the comments here are correct, life isn't easy and it sure isn't fair. College isn't any different. No one has ever died from being rejected by a univeristy, employer or member of the opposite sex. The feel good, don't want to hurt anyboy's feelings generation will be in for a rude awakeing when life hits them square in the face. College does a lot of things for your character, builds confidence, teaches the value of self reliance, teaches you to learn how to think, and is your last opportunity in life to make mistakes and not pay a heavy price for the same.
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Warren Buffett wasn't admitted to Harvard, I wonder if they ever regret that.
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And Steven Spielberg was rejected by the USC Film School. Sometimes rejections are the best education you´ll ever receive.
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While perhaps not the main thrust of your article, it may be helpful to investigate/discuss an important factor in college rejection, namely their unabashed pursuit of statistics. As a parent who recently went through this process I was startled to learn that most colleges seemed more concerned with accepting applicants that improved their applicant profile than on admitting students based on their published criteria.
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It's hard to feel sympathy for these kids that have been rejected. They are a product of the politically correct/equality for everyone mind set. There's no such thing as losing or last place, instead everyone is a winner and gets participation trophies... Everyone with a little bit of sense and an ounce of learned experience in the real world can attest that rejection is a very integral part of life and unfortunately we aren't all created equal, some are smarter, some are more athletic, etc... And you can't really fault the schools for naming their price for your kids' education or the parents for paying that, after all, who's more foolish? The fool or the fool who follows him---Obi Wan Kenobi.
I could continue ranting and voicing my opinion like everyone else but I'll just sound more and more crazy. Bottom line kids gotta learn that it can be dark and scary out here, and they will one way or the other.
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Richard, you're exactly right.
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I love the participation trophies, 'everyone gets one' . Oh my word, Richard do you think this carried over into FNMA and FHLMC? Everyone gets one. Lets take in so many of these or so many of those...lets meet federal criteria so we can get more fed $$. Rejection? I just loved your post, you go Bro!
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You are so right, Richard. Raising our kids in an environment where no one loses and everyone gets rewarded, is a recipe for disaster. It has brought about young adults detached from reality and therefore not able to cope. We all experience rejection in life - love, work, and even play. You go on and try harder. Trying to affix blame on someone or something else is a continuation of the perpetual immaturity that our culture encourages.
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I love it. I wish the WSJ would create a College Admissions blog. It would be much better than the new New York TImes blog.