To 美馨 & 89'姐姐s

I’m sorry that I can’t type in Chinese since it will take me forever. Also, I apologize for my broken English.
The reason why I want to post again is because I got a lot of valuable advice when I was confused. I think that it’s my turn now.
I’m the one who did “Email Flirting” with a guy who works at another department. I couldn’t find the original post. Basically, I fall in love with a guy who is too good to be true. He became my trash can after we had done a lot of email flirting. I was not serious at the very beginning since I thought that I don’t have time and mood to date anybody at that time. But, I felt so hurt and didn’t want to leave him when he told me that he had a girlfriend.
I got a lot of encourage from this forum. I’m sorry that I can not recall the IDs. I really appreciate. One JM asked me “what can you offer him?”. Several JMs told me that “You have a very low self-esteem. There must be a reason that this guy wants to flirt with you.” 长空飞云 said “She’s just a girlfriend. Doesn’t mean anything. If I were you,I would tell the guy that I’m here, your girls need to be disappeared…” I laughed a lot when I saw all your hilarious posts. Believe it or not, I told him that he needed break up his girlfriend. (I still can not believe that I did that.:-)) He was not sure at that time. After 3 weeks, he told me that he broke up with her. I was so happy. and worried too. 1) He is still too good to be true, and we have a lot of difference. I still couldn\'t understand how we attract to each other. We both feel that we are not right to each other, but the feeling between us is so strong either of us wants to stop. 2) I felt that he is“just want to have fun.” With me. I feel that he is trying to give me an impression that we don’t have future. Don’t take it seriously. He tried very hard to keep the distance. I felt that he is hiding something. He keeps me away from his life.
I was disappointed. I throw temper tantrum on him. Irritated him. My boss once was pissed off that I was not polite to him. I feel miserable. Different with 89姐姐’s guy, he is always sweet to me no matter what I had done. I always feel warm when he is around. The way he looks at me makes me suffer more. He is more like老砖, but he is different with 老砖, sometime I can feel that he tried every excuse to see me. (maybe just because he is American?)
Several days ago, I accidentally found out his “secrete”. (Sorry, I couldn’t tell details.) I was shocked. I almost rushed to his office. I wanted to hold him and cry. I didn’t do that because I want to wait he tells me by himself, and I need to make up my mind too. I admire him more since then, and understand why he is still single and “just wants to have fun”. (maybe that is not the only reason. I know that he is not mentally strong at some point.)
Anyway, I wrote a lot, I just want to say that people are different. I feel sorry for the most of the guys. They look strong and cool all the time outside no matter how frighten they are inside. My story is still on going, I still don’t feel confident that we will have a happy ending since we are so different. (probably, I still will need ask your opinion later :-)) BUT, I’ll follow my hear. He is the person who I love, who I care, who I admire, the most important is that he is the one lets me feel beautiful, I will give him the beautiful thing in return.
To 美馨 and 89’JJs, I just want to say that try to understand your guy if you are attracted by him very much. As one of the sisters here replied to my post “there must be a reason”.
Good luck.