1．How to Become Rich 如何致富
Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.
Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.
Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.
弟弟：我看见你亲我姐姐了，如果你不给我五分钱，我就告诉我爸。
姐姐的男朋友：不要那样做。给你五分钱。
弟弟：我这个月已经赚了一块两毛五了。
2．Lucky Mother 幸运的母亲
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughter her tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well. Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, when I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam. Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, aren’t you pleased that you've come to live with us now?
一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有许多受饥饿的人，浪费食物真不应该。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女儿睡觉之前，她给女儿喂夜宵。她先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油，但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃。她还要一些果酱涂在面包上。母亲看了女儿几秒钟，随即说道，露茜，当我象你一样小的时候，总是吃面包加黄油，或者面包加果酱，从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。露茜看了母亲一会儿，眼中露出怜悯的神情，然后她柔声说：您现在能跟我们生活在一起难道不感到高兴吗？
3．A Gentle Reminder委婉提醒
Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"
Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"
婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上，我们正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“亲爱的，你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗？”
他放下报纸，眼睛直直地望着我：“因此，你想交换座位吗？”
4．Dead Seagull死去的海鸥
A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son Bob ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
一位父亲带着孩子在沙滩玩。四岁的儿子鲍伯跑向他，抓着他的手领他到岸边，在沙滩上发现一只死去的海鸥。
"Daddy, what happened to him?" Bob asked.
“爸爸，他怎么了？”鲍伯问。
"He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.
“他死了并去了天堂。”爸爸回答道。
Bob thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
鲍伯想了一分钟后问：“上帝又把它扔回来了吗？”
5．Reached Shore Fast快速靠岸
A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down.
在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。路上车坏了。
He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance.
他没带手机，不过，他想，也许他可以通过海事无线广播来请求公路援助。于是，他爬到他的船里面，启动了无线装置，喊道，“求救，求救”。
He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday."
一名海岸护卫队警官作出了回应，“报告你的位置”。
A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location." "I-75, two miles south of Standish."
“I-75号公路，Standish的南面两英里”。
After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"
沉默了好一会之后，警官问我的朋友，“你的船靠岸时开得有多快？”
6．A Trip to Disney 迪斯尼之旅
On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.
一次，我和丈夫以及两个孩子前往位于佛罗里达州的迪斯尼乐园旅游,我们全身心地陶醉在它的各种充满吸引力的奇观中。筋疲力尽地玩了三天后，我们要回家了。
As we drove away, our son waved and said, "Good-bye, Mickey."
当我们驾车离开时，儿子挥着手说：“再见了，米奇。”
Our daughter waved and said, "Good-bye, Minnie."
女儿也挥着手说，“再见了，米妮。”
My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, "Good-bye, Money."
丈夫也有气无力地挥了挥手，说：“再见了，美元。”
