1 我可以慢点/I Could Do It Slower
Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth?
Dentist: Fifty dollars.
Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work?
Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like.
病人：拔一颗牙收费多少?
牙医：50美元。
病人：只几分钟的活儿就要50美元?
牙医：好的，如果你喜欢的话，我可以干得慢一些。
2 绳子那头
The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: "I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirty rope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home."
"But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home!"
"I told you I had bad luck, didn't I?" the man sighed, "The trouble is that I didn't notice there was an ox at the other end of that rope."
在监狱里，一个人问新来的犯人为什么被关进来。新来的犯人回答说：“我想我真是倒霉。几天前我在街上走的时候，看到一根脏绳子，以为没人要了，便捡起来带了回家。”
“但是，捡一根绳子带回家并不犯法啊!”“我告诉过你我倒霉了吧?”那个人叹了口气，“麻烦的就是我没有注意到绳子的那一头还有一头公牛。”
3 请朋友吃饭
"Honey, "said the husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper. "
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal! "
"I know all that. "
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper? "
"Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married. "
“亲爱的，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。”
“什么? 你疯了吗? 我们的房子乱糟糟的，我没有购物，所有的碗碟都是脏的，还有，我不想做一顿大餐。”
“这些我全都知道。”
“那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?”
“因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。”
4 最简单的问题
"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked ..."how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track."
"Well, what sort of question?"
"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'"
Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example, would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."
“医生，你能不能告诉我，”鲍勃问，“对于一个看上去很正常的人，你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”
“再没有比这容易的了，”医生回答，“问他一个简单的问题，简单到所有人都知道答案，如果他回答得不干脆，那你就知道是怎么回事了。”
“那要问什么样的问题呢?”
“嗯，你可以这样问，‘库克船长环球旅行了三次，但是在其中一次的途中他去世了，是哪一次 呢?’”
鲍勃想了一会儿，然后紧张地笑着说道，“你就不能给出另外一个例子吗? 我必须承认，我对历史了解的不是很多。”
5 你太晚了
On the bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket.
"Sorry," he said to the pickpocket, "you are too late. My wife did it before you."
在公共汽车上一人发现一个小偷把手伸到了他的口袋里。
“对不起，”他对小偷说，“你太晚了，我妻子在你之前就做过同样的事情了。”
6 喂狗/For the Dog
The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when father called over the waiter.
"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"
"Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"
一家人在饭馆里吃过晚饭，父亲把服务生叫了过来。
“先生，什么事?”服务生问。
“我儿子的盘子里剩下许多肉，”父亲说，“能给我们一个袋子吗? 我把剩下的东西带回去喂狗。”
“啊呀，爸爸!”儿子激动地叫喊着。“我们有狗了吗?”
