我的ABC儿子：《损失五千美元换来人生最宝贵的顿悟》
【按：我的大儿子Scion出生於明尼苏达州。2012年大学毕业后顺利进入职场，在制药公司从事数据统计工作。2015年被波士顿的本特利大学录取为在职研究生。就学期间他一度遭遇课程挫折，但他靠着亲情的激励和自己的顿悟，及时走出低谷，奋发努力，终于在2019年夏天获得硕士学位。在家庭举办的毕业庆祝会上，他面对亲友们作了一篇感人至深的演讲。我们听了之后，都为美国出生的这一代孩子能有感恩之心与励志图强的文化传承而倍感欣慰。谨把儿子致辞的原文译成中文，附上与各位一并分享。谢谢大家！】
（在硕士毕业家庭庆祝会上的演讲）
The Best $5000 I Ever Lost
损失五千美元换来人生最宝贵的顿悟
By Scion Li，May 18, 2019
Hello Friends/Family,
Welcome to my parent's home, or as my siblings and I like to call it, Doeskin Estates.
Thank you all for coming today to celebrate such an important day in my life. I decided to have this graduation party, not just because of the food and excuse to take jagerbombs, but because I wanted to share with you a very personal story and speech that I spent the last 4 years writing - in my head, and finally on paper. It's a speech that encapsulates my experience over the last four years at Bentley, and a lesson learned from probably the most difficult thing I've ever done. And I call this speech, “The Best $5000 I Ever Lost.”
各位友人，各位亲人，大家好！
欢迎来到我的父母之家，也就是我们兄弟姐妹昵称的这座“鹿岭山庄”。
谢谢诸位今天的光临，一同来庆祝我生命中如此重要的一天。我决定举办这个毕业庆祝会，不仅仅是为了享受美味佳肴并趁机畅饮鸡尾酒，更是想与大家分享我过去四年里所经历过的特别的人生故事。这故事在我的头脑中酝酿良久，现在终于付诸文字。这是一篇讲述我过去四年里在本特利大学（Bentley University）的跌宕起伏，以及从我面临的最艰难事情中所学到的功课。我把这段经历总结为“损失五千美元换来人生最宝贵的顿悟”，做为今天的演讲。
On May 1, 2015 (4 years ago), I received my acceptance letter to the Bentley University Master in Business Analytics Program. I was on my way to become a sought-after profession, a data scientist. I was beyond thrilled and honored that they accepted me, and couldn’t wait to start classes and be once-again immersed in the classroom environment. In the same month, I was also starting my brand new job at Shire Pharmaceuticals as a Business Analyst. It was a big month for me, and my life was about to change. I was turning over a brand new chapter in my life, juggling a new full time job, while pursuing my masters in the evening. I was motivated, determined, and felt like nothing could get in my way. I was ready to take on the world.
四年前的2015年5月1日，我收到了本特利大学商业分析硕士研究生的录取通知书。其时的我正在潜心追求成为一名数据科学家的热门工作。我顿时欣喜若狂，深感荣幸被本特利研究生院录取了。我迫不及待地期盼上课而再次沉浸在课堂的那种气氛中。也就在那个月，我开始在Shire 制药公司就职，担任数据分析师这个全新的工作。这个月对我来说真是一个无限风光的里程碑，从此我的生活即将发生改变。它翻开了我生命中的一个崭新篇章，我将在晚上学习硕士课程，白天从事新的全职工作。那时我浑身充满活力，踌躇满志，觉得自己所向披靡 ——我已经准备好迎接这个世界。
That August, I took my first step on the Bentley University campus as a first-time student. I looked around at the sea of students walking from all directions to class. I breathed in the beautiful Bentley air, and made my way to the classroom of the first course of my graduate career. I took one deep breath, opened the door, and walked in to see the oddly familiar rows of desks, chalkboards, and faces and voices of my future fellow students and professors. This was happening. They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. I'll never forget that first step.
那年八月，迎来了我入读本特利大学研究生的第一天。在校园里我四处张望着从四面八方汇集而来的学生们。我呼吸着本特利大学的新鲜空气，走向我硕士班第一学期的课堂。我深吸了一口气，推开教室的门走进去，一眼就看到了那些熟悉的书桌、黑板，以及同学们和教授的音容笑貌。新学期开始了！人们都说千里之行始于足下第一步。我永远不会忘记入学本特利的第一天。
The first semester went really great. I was gung ho and fired up. I made a lot of new friends, participated in class, and even looked forward to class on some days. During the days I was grinding at work and at night I was either in class, doing homework or studying. On weekends, I was either studying or going to shows with my friends. I struck a perfect work-school-life balance and everything was like a well-oiled machine. Life was good.
第一个学期感觉真的很棒，我高兴极了。在那里我结识了很多新朋友，按时上课，有些日子甚至期待着下一堂课的来临。白天我照常工作，晚上我要么在课堂上，要么在家做作业或复习。周末我和朋友们一起学习或去看演出。我达到了完美的工作 - 学习 - 生活平衡状态，一切都像一台运转良好的机器，日子过得惬意美好。
However, this was short lived as the reality of being a working part-time student kicked in. By the time I was about 2 years into my program, that drive and motivation deteriorated significantly and I headed down a downward path. My mind started to wander in class, I felt tired constantly, I would be regularly up until 3:00am cramming a homework assignment that I should have completed the weekend before, and I was showing up to work late. I was passing in half completed homework assignments and doing the bare minimum, all while going through a difficult break up with my ex. Every day just seemed longer than the day before, and everything just started to feel meaningless. It was tough, and I would regularly ask myself, what is the point of all this? Why did I decide to go back to school and torture myself like this? Will I actually finish my masters? I was miserable, and the idea of quitting my Masters turned from a tiny thought into possible reality. It seemed to me, the solution to all my problems and I started to let go.
然而，那样的美好日子没有持续很久，因为作为一名在职研究生的现实挑战很快就开始了。当我读研将近二年之时，自己的动力和上进心出现显著倒退，我开始走下坡路。我在课堂上会胡思乱想，并经常感到疲倦。我会经常一直熬夜到凌晨3点才赶完作业，而那作业本该在前个周末就得完成，之后我上班还常常迟到。我交给教授仅完成一半的家庭作业，而且只做了最低限度的部分，所学的东西一到考试就都支离破碎。每天看起来都比前一天更漫长，所有一切开始变得毫无意义。境况变得如此艰难，我经常拷问自己：这一切有什么意义？为什么我决定回到学校来如此折磨自己呢？我真的有能力完成我的硕士学位吗？我心里很痛苦，放弃硕士学位的打算从一个微小的念头转变为可能的抉择。在我看来，要解决所有的问题，就只能放弃。
So, I started going out a lot more. I spent weekends traveling to see friend when I should have stayed in and studied, I spent lots of money on going, drinks. I was spiraling out of control, being self destructive, and in the Fall Semester of 2017, I failed my first graduate class, Time Series Analysis with Professor Pangchech. Bentley is a pretty expensive school, and each class costs $5,000 in tuition and fees. That's a lot of money. If you fail a course, you not only get an F on your transcript, but the company will not reimburse you for the amount. I stood there thinking to myself; All the time spent on class and coursework that semester, wasted. All $5000 of my hard-earned money, disappeared with absolutely nothing to show for it. So there I was, staring at my F, and a $5,000 hole in my bank account, miserable. I hit rock bottom, and I knew it. So, I decided to take the next semester off to take a much needed pause, and a step back to reevaluate my life decisions.
接着我开始越来越多地外出。周末本来应该在家学习，我却去游玩看朋友，还花了许多钱去喝酒。我开始失控，放任自我毁坏前途。在2017年的秋季，我第一次出现所修课程不及格，就是Pangchech教授所教的“时间序列分析”那门课。本特利大学是一所非常昂贵的学校，每门课的学费都在5000美元左右。那是好多钱啊！如果没有通过课程，不仅会在成绩单上得个“F”，而且公司不给报销学费。我站在那里独自陷入沉思：这个学期花在课堂和作业上的所有时间都白白浪费了！我好不容易赚来的那5000美元都付之东流了。我在那里眼盯着成绩单上的F，以及我的银行账户中的5000美元亏损，顿感悲惨戚戚。我知道当时我的情绪跌落到了谷底。因此，我决定下一个学期休学。我非常需要暂停一段，然后退一步重新评估我的人生决定。
It was during this time that I did some of the most difficult soul searching I had ever done in my life. I was asking myself tough and honest questions. Should I quit grad school? Do I even want this anymore? Do I even have what it takes to see this through? These classes are no joke. What about all the time and money I already spent? Will I regret this in the future? How would I tell my boss, friends, and parents?
正是在那段时间里，我进行了生命中最严肃的灵魂拷问。我拷问自己一系列艰难而诚实的问题。我该退学吗？我还想要这个硕士学位吗？我是否还能通过什么人或事来给我指点迷津？然而这些课程并非儿戏，我在上面都已经花了那么多的时间和金钱，现在如何是好？将来我会后悔吗？我又将如何告诉我的公司老板、朋友和我的父母亲？
I dug deep for anything, a small glimpse of inspiration or a sign of whether to continue, and then, it hit me. It was during this time when I was reminded of my purpose, put into perspective, I was reminded of the most important people in my life and what inspired me to do my masters in the first place; and that reason, is my mom and my dad.
我继续探索自己的灵魂深处，看看能否瞥见一丝的灵感来决定取舍。果然，有一天顿悟临到了我。就在那时，我骤然被自己的人生目标唤醒了！我也窥见到了自身的远景。我想到了自己人生中最重要的人物，他们在一开始就鼓励我去追求硕士学位。那起初的引领就是来自我妈妈和爸爸。
My dad has one of the most incredible and inspiring stories I have ever heard in my life and this story has molded me into the person I am today. My dad grew up in a very poor family in a poor village in Fujian Province of China called DaYang. He had very little growing up, and when I say little I mean little. As a child, my dad owned two outfits, one pair of hole-filled shoes, and two pencils for the whole school year which he would sharpen by hand with a small knife and continue using over and over again until there was no more pencil left. Those were all the possessions he owned in the whole world. He was skinny, constantly hungry, and when they did laundry, sometimes he would have to wait in bed until his mom finished cleaning and drying his two outfits. He dropped out of middle school to help his family in the farms until one day he decided that he was going to strive and to have a better life for himself, his future wife, and his future family - us.
我爸爸的人生故事，是我有生以来听过的最令人难以置信又非常鼓舞人心的真实故事。他的故事让我成为今天的我。我爸爸是在中国福建省一个名叫大洋的贫困山区里的一个非常贫穷的家庭中长大。在他成长的过程中拥有的东西很少，我说的“很少”，真的就是少得可怜。在我父亲的孩童时代，他身边仅有两套衣服，一双破洞的鞋子，整个学年只用两支铅笔，他必须用一把小刀轻手削笔，然后一遍又一遍地继续使用，直到笔心用尽为止。这些东西就是他儿时在世上能拥有的一切。那时他很瘦，而且经常挨饿。当他妈妈为他洗衣服时，有时他必须躲在床上等待，直到他的妈妈洗好并烘干他的换洗衣服。为了帮助他家里种田，他不得不从初中辍学回村务农。直到有一天他立志努力改变命运，为使自己和未来的家人们过上更好的生活，那就是现在的我们一家啊。
My dad was very smart and very hard working, he was the top of his class every year. My mother was as well, and both my parents eventually got accepted to college in 1977, at that time only the very top students had the privilege to attend in China. When my parents met, my mom saw something in my dad and knew that was going to be something special. Now, my dad is a very smart man and hardworking, but as many geniuses are, he can also be lazy. For that I am so thankful that he met my mom. They say that behind every great man is an even greater woman. And that's who my mom was. She was the superwoman pushing my dad to do something no one in their families have ever done before; dream big, pursue a PhD, and start a family in America.
我父亲十分聪明，工作非常努力。在学校里，每年他在学业上都是名列前茅。我的妈妈也是如此。我的爸爸妈妈终于有幸在1977年考上大学，当时在中国只有最优秀的学生才能被大学录取。当我的父母在省城上大学而相逢时，妈妈从我爸身上看到了某种品格，并认为那将是与众有别的特质。彼时我的父亲是个非常聪明并且勤奋学习的人，但就像许多天资聪慧的人一样，有时他也可能表现懈怠。为此我非常庆幸他得到了我那勤劳的妈妈。人们都说每个成功男人的背后都有一个更坚强的女人，这就是我妈妈的写照。她是位女强人，不断推动我父亲去做他们两边家族以前从未做过的事：敢于追逐宏大梦想，追求博士学位，并让自己全家在美国安身立命。
After years of painstaking hard work and sacrifice, my dad was finally accepted to the PhD of Pharmacology program at the University of Minnesota in 1985. With only a few dollars to his name, the clothes on his back, and a plane ticket from Fuzhou to America, my father came to Minnesota to pursue the American Dream. My mother soon followed him to America and he ultimately finished his PhD and applied for his first real job. He did not get his first job until the age of 35, 6 years older that I am now. He started his life so much later than any of us have. He worked hard, understood deeply the value of money, and with the help of my mother raised a family of four, paid for piano lessons and Chinese school, paid for tutors, college tuition, food on the table, soccer practices, my first skateboard, my clothes, everything for us that my parents never had growing up. Ultimately he bought his dream home which we are all standing in today. Even then, my parents still donate to church, donate to charities, and send money back to their families in China, and so much more. How many people do you know who has achieved not only something so extraordinary, but the unimaginable?
经过数年艰苦的努力奋斗，我的父亲终于在1985年被明尼苏达大学研究院录取，攻读药理学博士学位。他手揣着寥寥无几的美元和行囊里的几件衣物以及飞往美国的单程机票，从福州来到明尼苏达大学追求他的美国梦。我母亲第二年也幸运地来到美国。五年后父亲获得了博士学位，申请工作。他在美国获得第一份正式工作之时已经35岁，比我现在年龄还长6岁。他的职业生涯比我们所有人都晚了许多。父亲努力地工作，他深谙金钱的价值而善用之，在我母亲的帮助下养育了全家的四个儿女，支付了我们钢琴课和中文学校的费用、课外辅导费、所有大学学费、吃穿用度、足球训练费用，买给我的第一个滑板以及我的许多新衣服……而我父母在自己成长过程中从未享受这一切。最后他们毅然买下了此时我们欢聚的这座梦想家园。不仅如此，多年间我父母亲还捐钱给教会以及其它慈善机构，并常常汇钱给中国那些亲人们的家庭。试问，你所认识的人当中有多少人不仅自己取得了杰出的成就，而其人生经历也如此超乎想象呢？
The point I'm trying to make is that my parents sacrificed so much for my family, so that we could have the life they never had. They understand what poor is, they understand what true hardship is. They understand what sacrifice looks like and what it brings. They understand things that I will never understand because of the opportunities I have because of them.
我想说的是，我的父母为了家人牺牲了很多，由此我们可以拥有他们小时候从未有过的幸福生活。他们明白贫穷意味着什么，他们也明白真正的困境是怎么样。他们知道付出是什么收获也是什么的哲理。他们明白的很多事情，我却可能永远无法理解，正是因为他们已经为下一代人创造了良好条件和机会。
So during that semester off, when I was sitting there, feeling sorry for myself, thinking about the possibility of quitting my masters, I thought to myself, how can I even think about quitting when I don't even deserve this luxury of having a choice to quit, when everything I have was a gift from all the hard work of my parents? I live in America, I have a college degree, I have a good job, I have a loving family, I have the opportunity to go to graduate school, everything I have, I have because of them. This hardship I’m going through is sand compared to beaches of sacrifices my parents went through. Not to be dramatic, but the truth is that, that night I cried for the first time in a very long time.
就是在休学的那个学期，有一天我静坐在家里，为自己感到难过，一遍遍想着放弃攻读硕士学位的可能性。但我又想，其实我甚至不配有这种“选择放弃”之奢侈；我怎么能随意放弃呢？因为我拥有的一切都来自我父母辛勤工作的馈赠。我居住在美国，拥有大学学位，有一份好工作，我有一个充满爱的家庭，我有机会上研究生院。我所拥有的一切，都是因为父母。我今日遇到的这些难处，与父母曾经的坎坷经历相比，犹如一把沙与众沙滩之比啊！我无意编造情节，的的确确在那天夜晚我头一次哭了，在那之前我好久好久都没有哭过。
“That's it!” I said to myself. “I'm going to finish what I started and make my parents proud.”
And that's exactly what I did. For the next two years, I roughed it through. I signed up for courses again. I re-enrolled in Time Series Analysis. Went to every class, worked my ass off. Got an A. Prioritized my coursework, studied hard, completed my assignments, stayed up late if needed to make sure I understood the material and the homework problems, emailed the professor with questions, passed on partying to study (although not all the time). One by one, I was crossing off the courses completed from my MSBA curriculum down to the final last one. And here we are today.
“决不能放弃”！我对自己说着， “我必须善始善终，让我的父母为我感到自豪。”
我的确这样做了。在接下来的两年里，我专心致志刻苦攻读。我再次注册进入硕士课程。我重修了“时间序列分析”这门课。我认真上好每一堂课，并及时完成作业。期末终于得到了“A”的成绩。我将硕士课程提到日常最优先顺序，努力学习，完成所有作业。一旦需要进一步深入理解课本和作业的相关问题，我就熬夜攻关，或通过电子邮件向教授请教，或通过参加派对进行学习（虽然不都是如此）。我一个接一个地完成了Business Analytics硕士学位要求完成的所有课程，直到今天我有机会站在你们面前。
As I stand here, having walked across the Bentley graduation stage, and here in my parents’home surrounded by my friends and family and beautiful Jillybeans, it feels so surreal. I have been waiting for this day, this exact moment for four years, and I can say that I am the happiest I have ever been in my life.
今天下午我已经参加了本特利大学研究生的毕业典礼。此时我站在我父母之家的大厅里，被我的朋友们和家人以及漂亮的女友Jill围绕着，感觉到如此地实实在在。在这四年期间，我一直等待这一天的来临，期待这样的时刻。我可以说今天是我生命中最快乐的一天！
This is not a story to say that I am anything special, or yay I'm happy now, because I'm really not anything special and do have a lot to be thankful for. This is a story to finally tell my mom and dad, thank you, for everything you have done for Kellen, Louisa, Mark, and I. I speak from the four of us when I say that you are amazing parents and we're so proud to be part of this family.
今天这个故事不是想说我有什么特别之处，或标榜我现在多么的满足。我真的没有什么特别之处，但我确实有很多东西值得感恩。我的故事终于让我可以告诉我的妈妈和爸爸：谢谢你们多年来为冰冰、瑞莎、马可和我所做的一切。当我称赞你们是很棒的父母时，其实是为我们四个兄弟姐妹代言。我们是如此的自豪能成为这个家中的一员。
I still often open up my Bank of America app and think about what it would be like if I had that extra $5000 in my bank account. That's my mortgage payment for many months, 4 cruises to the Bahamas, bijou/the grand tickets for a year, lots and lots of jagerbombs.
我经常查看我的美国银行账户，想着如果我的银行帐户中额外多出来5000美元究竟会派上哪些用场。这5000美元够我付好几个月的房贷，或四次巴哈马游轮旅行，或高尔夫球场一年的门票，或痛饮很多很多的鸡尾酒。
But I'm glad I lost that $5000 because it will always remind me of the price you sometimes pay in life to learn an invaluable lesson. It's a reminder of the necessary sacrifices that come with success. It's a reminder that failure is temporary. It's the reminder that sometimes things get tough, but if you stick through it, with the right motivation, it is all worth it in the end. There's a quote my mother taught me when I was little, it's “No Pain, No Gain”. Nothing extraordinary is ever easily attained, and if it's not hurting, you're not trying hard enough. It's a reminder that sometimes you don’t appreciate good until you experience the bad. It's a reminder of my parents sacrifices. And although my situation will never compare to the hardships that my parents went through for my family, I am glad I got to have just a small taste. It is the best $5000 I ever lost, a small price to pay for a lesson I will carry with me for the rest of my life and share with my children and my grandchildren.
然而，今天为了我曾经失去的那5000美元，我却是怀着喜悦的心情。因为它总是提醒我人生有时候需要付出一定代价来学习宝贵的教训。它提醒我们成功之路必须有牺牲；它提醒我们，挫折和失败可能只是暂时的；它提醒人们有时会遭遇逆境，但如果你能坚持下去，有正确的动力，那么最终这一切努力都是值得的。当我小的时候，妈妈曾经教我的一句话，就是“没有耕耘就没有收获”。世上没有任何非凡的功业你可以轻而易举地得到。如果没有触及痛处，也许你就不会那么用功；它提醒人们，有的时候经历过挫折打击之后你才会珍惜曾经的拥有；它再次让我想到父母曾经为儿女做出的所有牺牲。虽然我自己的难处永远无法与我父母一生所经历的艰辛相提并论，但令我高兴的是我只不过经历了人生一段小小的波折。我曾经损失的那5000美元是非常值得的，它是为我人生的功课付上的一笔微小代价，我将它视作一生的精神财富，并将与未来的子孙们分享。
There are a few more people I want to thank for getting me to this day.
To Jill, my amazing girlfriend who would stay up with my until 2am when I was doing homework and ask me what seemed like every 5 minutes if I wanted snacks, and be there with dinner prepared for me when I got home from class at 10:30 at night. She would munch on Cheetos, loudly on the couch behind me watching anime on Netflix while I was attending class remotely, reminding me she was there waiting for me when I was done. Thank you for being my rock, for keeping me sane, pushing me to the finish line, and always ready to celebrate with me whenever I was done. As I said earlier, behind every man is a great woman. You are my super woman and I am the luckiest man in the world to call you mine.
此时我还要感谢更多的人，他们让我能走到今天。
感谢我特棒的女友吉尔。每当我做作业时，她一直陪我熬夜直到凌晨2点，她会每隔5分钟就会问我一次是否想吃点零食；当我晚上10:30上完课回家时她总是为我准备好了晚餐。当我在家上远程课时，她会在我身后的沙发上啃干粮，看着Netflix上的动漫。这些都提醒我，她一直在那里耐心地等我直到我当天的功课完成。感谢你成为我的磐石，让我始终保持理智，帮我迈向终点线，并随时准备和我一起欢庆胜利。正如我先前所说，每个成功男人背后都有一个伟大的女性。你是我的超女，我是世上最幸运的人，能与你同舟共济。
To Louisa, Jason, Kellen, Jesse, and my rock star brother Mark in China,
To each of my amazing friends, James, Bora, Hannah, Ben, Shirley, Berny, Sevag, thank you all for taking the token to be here and for all your support, for making the last 4 years so fun, and for being there to take shots with me and celebrate this joyous occasion. That's right, all this time everyone thought I was partying, I was taking classes as well. Achievements never feel real without your true friends and family to celebrate with.
谢谢手足之情的瑞莎和杰森，冰冰和杰西，以及身在中国的我那音乐明星弟弟马可。
衷心感谢我的每一位铁杆好友：陈晨，Bora，Hannah，Ben，Shirley，Berny，Sevag，感谢你们今天的友爱光临和昔日一路的宝贵支持，让我过去的四年时光充满乐趣；你们往日在各地与我共赏美景，今天一道来庆祝我的欢乐时刻。 是呀！此时你们都看到我在举行派对，其实这也是我人生学习过程中的另一堂课。 倘若没有你们这些真诚的朋友和家人来一道举杯喝彩，任何成就又怎能算得了真呢？
And of course…
To Mom and dad, you two are truly incredible parents who not only spoiled us with your love, but by the example you set for the four of us and showing us first-hand, that if you work hard, you can do anything you set your mind to. Thank you for getting me through my Master's Degree. This Master's was for you.
理所当然地，我要感谢妈妈和爸爸；你们二位真是世上难觅的父母！你们不仅以所有的爱宠惯着我们，而且为我们四个兄弟姐妹树立了榜样，并亲自向我们证明了一个道理：只要你努力工作，就可以达到你用心设定的任何目标。感谢你们一路引领我取得硕士学位！我的这个学位，诚然为你们而得。
