川总治国，马皇劝政，美股长虹！
President Trump Rules, Emperor Musk Advises, and Wall Street Explodes!
第一幕：极限施压，全球求饶
Act 1: Maximum Pressure, The World on Its Knees
中文：
2025年4月3日，川总挥起“关税大棒”，不是打一国，是全世界一起打！
中国被加税，欧盟被加税，日本墨西哥也没逃，连小岛国都瑟瑟发抖。
English:
On April 3rd, 2025, President Trump swung his mighty “Tariff Hammer” — not at one nation, but the entire world!
China got taxed, the EU got taxed, Japan, Mexico, even tiny island nations trembled in fear.
中文：
全球股市“啪”地一下全绿了，不是环保，是心跳骤停那种绿。
老百姓都懵了：怎么鸡蛋也变成金蛋了，泡面都开始论克卖？
English:
Global stock markets instantly turned green — not eco-friendly green, heart-attack kind of green.
People were stunned: “Why are eggs now golden treasures? Is instant ramen being sold by the gram?”
第二幕：美联储降息，配合表演
Act 2: The Fed Cuts Rates, Joining the Show
中文：
全世界都快被关税搞“脱贫”了，美联储一看不妙，赶紧打出一张王炸——降息！
川总站在舞台中央，张开双手，像凯撒一样笑着说：“看，全世界都听我的。”
English:
With the world going broke from tariffs, the Fed panicked and dropped the big card — rate cuts!
Trump, center stage, arms wide open like Caesar, smirked and said: “See? The whole world dances to my tune.”
第三幕：马皇出场，力挽狂澜
Act 3: Emperor Musk Enters, Saving the Empire
中文：
就在全球经济快被玩崩的时候，马斯克披着火箭斗篷，骑着特斯拉电马登场，气场全开！
他一拜一跪，说道：
“吾皇川总，如今物价飞涨、经济衰退、民不聊生，可以调整关税了。”
English:
Just as the global economy teetered on collapse, Musk arrived in full glory, wearing a rocket cape and riding a Tesla steed.
He knelt dramatically and declared:
“My Emperor Trump, inflation soars, recession spreads, the people suffer — it’s time to ease tariffs.”
中文：
川总一听，微微一笑，拍拍他肩膀：
“马帝，你是世界上最聪明的，皇兄就按你说的办。”
English:
Trump smiled gently, patted Musk’s shoulder and said:
“Emperor Musk, you’re the smartest man on Earth. Your royal brother shall heed your wise advice.”
第四幕：股市炸裂，总统山加雕像
Act 4: Stock Market Blows Up, Trump Carved in Stone
中文：
话音刚落，美股三大指数瞬间暴涨10%。交易员眼泪都出来了：
“川总不是总统，是股市主力庄家啊！！”
English:
As soon as the words left his mouth, the Dow, Nasdaq, and S&P all jumped 10%.
Traders burst into tears:
“Trump isn’t a president… he’s the ultimate market maker!”
中文：
群众提议：应该在总统山加个川总的头像，一手握麦克风，一手拿iPhone发推特，背景音配上“Make America Entertaining Again”。
English:
The people demanded: Add Trump’s face to Mount Rushmore — one hand holding a mic, the other tweeting from an iPhone, with the anthem:
“Make America Entertaining Again.”
结尾：你说他疯？他可能最清醒！
Finale: You Call Him Crazy? He Might Be the Only One Awake!
中文：
你以为这是政治？不，这是一部现实版经济大片，
融合《纸牌屋》、《权力的游戏》、《吐槽大会》和《股市风云》！
English:
Think this is politics? No — it’s a real-life economic blockbuster,
a fusion of House of Cards, Game of Thrones, Roast Battle, and Wall Street: The Musical!
中文：
川总不是疯，他是“疯中带稳”，
马斯克不是谏臣，他是“AI时代的诸葛亮”，
而我们，不是观众，是正在被表演的观众。
English:
Trump isn’t crazy — he’s crazy like a fox.
Musk isn’t an advisor — he’s the Zhuge Liang of the AI era.
And us? We’re not just watching the show… we’re IN the show.
思考题 Time to Think：
- 你觉得关税到底伤了谁？
- 是川总演戏，还是世界经济本来就太脆弱？
- 如果川总真上了总统山，你支持刻在哪块石头上？
What do you think?
- Who’s really getting hurt by the tariffs?
- Is Trump performing, or is the global economy just fragile?
- If Trump makes it to Mount Rushmore… which rock should we use?
