my heart always with you

This is a space here only belong to you and me.

mywonderland 发表评论于
Where are you? I miss you. Hope you are same.
mywonderland 发表评论于
Yes. I agress! love you.
mywonderland 发表评论于
Since with you in my heart, life change a lot. Everything means different. I thought that was destiny but it is different. I miss you in a silent neight, I wish i am in your dearm, although I could not lie on with you at this moment. Whatevery you care or not care, my life totally changed. Even at last you may crush our wish, our dream, our pome, my paint, my song, my all life, at least I enjoy with you today. Not every one has this kind of feeling as we have, not evey one can experience real love as I do. love one and be loved is so happy. Do you agree?
mywonderland 发表评论于
Look like you are not very much here too.
mywonderland 发表评论于
Ha,ha...
It is funning and humors. What is your next expectation a man or woman? wish I will stay with you next life.
mywonderland 发表评论于
I Miss you at this moment, love you so much...so don't want to waste any our precious time.
mywonderland 发表评论于
男人这辈子挺难的:长帅点吧,太抢手,不帅吧,拿不出手;活泼点吧,说你太油,不出声吧,说你太闷;找个漂亮女人吧,太操心,找个不漂亮的吧,又不甘心;光顾事业了,人家说你没责任感,光顾家了,人家又说你没本事;专一点吧,人家说你不成熟;花心点吧,人家说你是禽兽;有钱,说你是坏人,没有钱,人家骂你窝囊废;结婚吧,怕自己后悔;不结婚吧,怕她后悔,要个孩子吧,怕出来没钱养,不要孩子吧,怕老了没人养。这年头做女人难,做男人更难,
mywonderland 发表评论于
Love you make me jealousy your close to anyone eles. I am not mean to hurt you. But your strong response make me feel a little guilt. I love you, want to stay with you longer,expect to make you happy. don't want to lost you. I don't want fight or argue withu you during our precious time. Miss you at this moment, love you so much...
mywonderland 发表评论于
Thank you. I will do
mywonderland 发表评论于
If you always keep too busy that will damage your health. Perhaps you have to adjust your strategy of your business, your profession work and your management skills. Although you are smart person, you have to find some way ask other around work for you. As a CEO or upper level core person in a company, has some one eles work for you. Use other one's mind and power, get success.
mywonderland 发表评论于
me too.
mywonderland 发表评论于
At least get some feed back from you. Even one word is enough to me. love you and love you, my life is with more meaning because your love.
mywonderland 发表评论于
same thing here too. Just need some more time to be here. Like you said " Love is forever, not necessary at every morning or nights".

Love you
mywonderland 发表评论于
Because I cannot talk to you when I am thinking of you, at least I can come here to say something. I was not means to create issues for you, I just said what I thought.

I try to change my life, think of you less and do some other things more. But sometimes I cannot help myself. If I were you, I would like to know that some one miss you so much, you should be very happy.
Miss you thinking every details of your words and smile, think of you, want to hold you more longer. Hit you, why I cannot forget you? Love you
mywonderland 发表评论于
what are you talking about here? You always want to create some issues and then ask me to solve. I miss you and very busy last week or so. I will solve your challange for sure.
mywonderland 发表评论于
anything else is not except. timing will change everything. When you start a new thing you feel exciting, fresh, but with time run out, color is not fresh any more. That is why people always like to keep change, keep going. If you always stay at certain point, you will lost everthing. I don't want to be the person ask some one get rid of me. I will get rid of some one first.
mywonderland 发表评论于
It past 5 days you did not check this page. That is the same page we have. Hope to see you here pretty soon.
mywonderland 发表评论于
When you make a decision, you looks like a real man that was more attractive. When you gave me a surprise, you looks like a real lover with romantics, I hope the time can be hold at that moment ever and forever. When you work around others, you looks like a boss that is what you want to be?
mywonderland 发表评论于
I always give you more love than you give me! Or at least equal love!
mywonderland 发表评论于
感觉

有一种感觉总在失眠时,才承认是“相思”;
有一种缘分总在梦醒后,才相信是“永恒”;
有一种目光总在分手时,才看见是“眷恋”;
有一种心情总在离别后,才明白是“失落”。
I am glad to see you here to check the artical. Wish you have a good moon holiday. To be remembered, when the full moon in the sky, I am thinking about you. I wish you could saty with me at that moment, but I know that is not possible because you have more love and more responsibility. Wish some day, you could give me more love than the love I gave to you.

mywonderland 发表评论于
I care about you, and loveyou. Just now, it's too busy for me for many things as you know. But I still try to find time to talk to you. Don't guess too much.
mywonderland 发表评论于
Do I love you too much that you lost your feeling. Eveything is the same, if you get it too easy, you will be not care it. Why I love you so much? Bear eveything from you. Your care, your not care, your gentle and your rude, even your responsibility. Maybe I am an idiot
mywonderland 发表评论于
I start to pity you more than ask you more. maybe that is more care about you. You are too busy, your work cannot be completed by three people, I should understand you and don't always add more trouble to you. I can stay away from you. As you said stand on your shoes, I don't want to complain any more. In addition, I should have my world, you will be partial of it but not all of them. Think like this I feel more confidence and know what I should do next.Love!
mywonderland 发表评论于
I had a very good sleep last night. Today, I was very busy today with all things running. Actually, I called you twices and you are not there. Hope you had a good day. I love you too.
mywonderland 发表评论于
Today I have a busy and happy day. Stay with you I feel so good. I wish I could get along with longer, but anyway it is enough if you just show me a sign you love me. love you!
mywonderland 发表评论于
Happy happy birthday!
As you said I should understand you but I did not behavoir myself for your feeling. I feel shame sometimes but I could not control myself. It should be not me, why I am not strong enough at this aspect. I wish I could like you. maybe you have to know I love you too much. Love.
mywonderland 发表评论于
I am sorry and hope you know I was very busy these two weeks or so. I love you!
mywonderland 发表评论于
Where is the GOD? Why he wouldn't help me? I am totally lost. I have no direction. What should I do to forget you? Maybe it is not your fall but it was you opened a door with the sun shine and closed it right way and leave me in the hell. What should I do next? Help! I am calling from my heart. I hope some one can help me walk out from current me. Maybe I just sick, maybe I just dreaming, how can save me fryoom this desperate situation?
mywonderland 发表评论于
How can you treat me like this? Why I cannot forget you even just a moment? I hit you hit you. Please help me forget you. Help me go back to before. Have you ever founnd I am sruggling for leaving you away.
mywonderland 发表评论于
都是爱情惹得祸。女人遇到爱情,就像赌徒看到赢,酒鬼闻到酒,没救。
mywonderland 发表评论于
So you really don't want to come here any more. Here is only my space. How long you will keep your silence?

Eveything is not so fresh for you. There are not long term relationship between us. No words, no communication here. For me it was a long long time, it is hard for me to forget you, but I have to try. I will go back to the time without you. Maybe I should get used to that easily, but told you true that is really hard like a nightmare. I don't know just feel so sad, so hard to leave you like go to hell. I don't know how long I will keep this feeling but I have to write to you otherwise I will die. I don't know. You don't need to write anything to me, keep your silence till I release myself.
mywonderland 发表评论于
There are some useful words I put here for myself. As a advise
女人要懂得善待自己(转贴) 2007-09-09 08:15:14

1、如果一个男人开始怠慢你,请你离开他。不懂得疼惜你的男人不要为之不舍,更不必继续付出你的柔情和爱情。   


  2、任何时候,不要为一个负心的男人伤心,女人更要懂得,伤心,最终伤的是自己的心。如果那个男人是无情的,你更是伤不到他的心,所以,收拾悲伤,好好生活。   


  3、永远不要无休止的围着你喜欢的那个男人转,尽管你喜欢得他快要掏心掏肺的死掉了,也还是要学着给他空间,否则,你要小心缠得太紧勒死了他。    


  4、当一个男人对你说:分手吧。请不要哭泣和流泪,应该笑着说:等你说这话很久了。然后转身走掉。   


  5、要相信自己,善待自己,让自己的生活精彩纷呈。不要误认为是要让某个人后悔,而是为了让自己的人生更精彩。  


  6、对善意欣赏你的男子回报浅浅的微笑。     


  7、如果可以不抽烟,别抽。如果可以不喝酒,别喝。    


  8、再郁闷也不要去泡酒吧。一个孤独的女子手握高脚杯或者抽烟,会更添寂寞感与忧伤。


  9 、不要贪慕虚荣。虚荣是一剂毒药,而且会上瘾。     


  10、要有几个死党,独自一人的时候,保证还能有死党为你端茶送水。而不是声竭力嘶的嚎叫为什么说爱你的那个人不能来陪你。    


  11、不要和男人动手。第一,你动不过他;第二,和你动手的男人一定是个疯子。所以,不如不动。    


  12、外出旅游。旅行中的心灵可以更充实。


13、有喝下午茶、阅读书 本、听音乐的习惯。    


  14、买适合自己的衣服、饰物。适合你的就是最好的,所以不必羡慕别人的行头。    


  15、不要接受你不喜欢的男子送的任何礼物。  


  16、知道自己要什么,包括你爱的男人。  


17、对你不喜欢的追求者的示好和关心坚定的说不和拒绝。


18、认真地对待你的工作。工作也许不如爱情来的让你心跳,但至少能保证你有饭吃,有房子住,而不确定的爱情给不了这些,所以,认真努力地工作。    


  19、不要爱上已婚却还对你信誓旦旦说会抛妻弃子迎娶你的男人。如果他们真的没感情,自然会离婚,而不是整日对你说些莫名其妙的话。


20、记住你喜欢的人的生日,包括你的家人,当然,还有自己。


  21、你可以去爱一个男人,但是不要把自己的全部都赔进去。没有男人值得你用生命去讨好。你若不爱自己,怎么能让别人爱你?  


  22、偶尔做美女私房菜给他或者老友吃。但不要天天做,你生来不是为了某个人天天下厨房的。


23、闲情时候自己煮花茶喝或者做茶点吃,放一段柔情音乐,翻阅几页好书,然后睡个懒觉,快哉。  


24 、如果发短信息给你喜欢的人,他不回。不要再发。   


  25、万一脆弱的不行了,请选好哭泣的对象,不要随便借肩膀和胸膛。


26、一个人去看电影。买爆米花和可乐,笑翻天。或者,泪流满面。如果你喜欢体育,去看足球,哭死也没人管你,但是很轻松和畅快。  


  27、不要为了任何人任何事折磨自己。比如不吃饭、哭泣、自闭、抑郁,这些都是傻瓜才做的事。当然,偶尔傻一下有必要,人生不必时时聪明。  


28、任何情况下,背后不说他人是非。如果一定要你说,说好话。  


29、爱护你的手,它是你的第二张脸,但不是为此你不需要分担任何家务。 


  30、爱父母,每周一次打电话或者抽时间共进晚餐。


31、居室要有鲜花,记得换水。如果要出差,清理之后再出门,不要回来面对一屋子的蚊子和虫子。 


32、想吃就吃。为了保持身材让自己饿着,那是世界上最愚蠢的美丽。  


  33、如果男人以他忙为理由,不来探你的病情,不回你的邮件,不关心你的现状,不能和你承担生活的重负,无法给你勇气。勇敢一点,自动离开。没有什么比自己关心自己来得实在。而一个不爱你的人,你付出的再多,他再好,那也不过是浪费时间和精力。


  34、学会承受痛苦。有些话,适合烂在心里,有些痛苦,适合无声无息的忘记。当经历过,你成长了,自己知道就好。很多改变,不需要你自己说,别人会看得到。


35、有时间的话,去学瑜伽或者跆拳道。前者能让你放松身心,后者可以防身。 


 36、家里和办公室分别空出一格抽屉放零食。



mywonderland 发表评论于
敢把爱情当药吃 zt 2007-08-19 17:53:26


  有的人可能一生得不到爱情,但没有人一生不渴望得到爱情。

  爱情注定充满了玄机和劫数,它如同我们必得的一场病,怎么躲藏都不会躲过,你敢说,这一生,你不会感冒一次?

  爱情其实就是我们得的病。我们为此病入膏肓,在劫难逃,爱上了,就无路可逃,所有的酸甜苦辣让我们尝遍,但没有一个人会让爱情走开,即使苦多于甜,辣多于酸,又有什么关系?因为我们那么愿意为爱受罪。

  甚至可以把爱情当药吃,以毒攻毒。

  我的朋友梅是一个美丽的女子,从十七岁开始初恋到现在,没有一次恋爱是一帆风顺的,不是被人抛弃就是婚姻变故,但她是快乐的,每次有了新爱情,她就会面若桃花。在我的记忆中,她至少恋爱了五次以上,每次都是惊心动魄的,可以和琼瑶阿姨的小说相媲美,每次都说伤透了心不再爱了,但下次看到她时,却又总是为了爱情而在烦恼。

  后来她说,怎么可能不爱呢?爱情就是一件以毒攻毒的事,爱情是一场病,病了就要吃药,吃什么药?只能吃爱情,因为只有爱情能拯救爱情。

  我被她的理论惊呆。却又看到她活得生机盎然像一朵太阳花一样;而另一个朋友,却是另一种样子,她也要把爱情当药吃,但那药却治不了她,因为她吃的是一种痴情药,相恋八年的男友离她而去,她选择了独身,把所有的爱和恨埋在记忆中,屋子里永远挂着的是二十八岁那年的照片,照片中的男人和女人永远地相亲相爱。爱情于她也是一服药,却是一服痴情药,吃下去,无异于饮鸠止渴,但她心甘情愿。女人一旦对爱痴了迷,就是戏台上的戏子,上了妆,由不得自己,只有唱下去——尽管结局早就安排好了,但是,谁知道爱情到底是怎么回事!即使你流尽眼泪,即使你永远追求,它像一颗星星一样,看起来离你很近,其实离你很远。

  但我喜欢敢把爱情当药吃的女子。这样的女子,有令人肝肠寸断的痴,有着无所畏惧的率真,比起那些把爱情看做一场游戏的人来说,这样的女子,和她爱上一场,死也心甘。

  因为有时,爱情就是一副甜蜜的药,它可以让我们悲情的心,渐渐地欢愉起来。


mywonderland 发表评论于
自由被温柔打动
一颗心 隐隐作痛
点燃的一团火
伴着泪光 一起跳动

思念把黑夜穿透
一滴泪 流进梦中
颤抖充满胸口
脆弱的心 只有你最懂

爱上你爱上痛
甜中酸苦 一遍遍释放冲动
爱上你爱上痛
千丝万缕 缠绵的情太浓

爱上你爱上痛
相思守候 一天天煎熬时空
爱上你爱上痛
今生今世 你是我痴情的梦




mywonderland 发表评论于
I cannot understand your meaning here. Oil and water can not stay togethter.
you are everthing in my mind when I was driving. In that way I just supposed I was stay with you and enjoyed with you. How is everything going? Do you have a relax holiday? I don't know when you will have a relaxed day? and stay with me a whole day.
mywonderland 发表评论于
关于婚姻,有一种说法是:“男人女人有时就像两种液体,一旦混匀了,就永远分不开;一开始就无法相溶的两种液体,就如同油和水,油在上面,水在下面,再过一千年也是这样。”

  如果一个男人和一个女人的关系是“水”和“油”的关系,那就千万不要住在一起,更不要结婚,因为那样对两个人都是种煎熬。

  说婚姻是一座围城,我不相信。说婚姻是爱情的坟墓,我更不相信。我只相信男人和女人这两种“液体”是否能够相溶,如果你能找到能够和你相溶的“液体”,就不是坟墓,是乐园;而如果不幸找到的是不能与你相溶的“液体”,那两个人的关系就是地狱。

  男人女人是两种液体,要找到那种适合你的液体才对。婚姻并不可怕,关键是要找对人。
mywonderland 发表评论于
Your love is nothing wrong. Just we don't have enough time together.
mywonderland 发表评论于
Check this message, touch my heart deeply. When I was with you, you always busy, once I leave you alone, you miss me more.
Wish some day, we can stay whole day during the holiday. But I could not expect it happen during this life. You are such busy, and you will more busy in furture, As you know you will have more business and you also want to be hide your feeling.
You even tried to blam me as you did broken my heart, in order to make some other one feel better about you.
Even things happen like this, I still love you. Is something wrong with me? Love !!!
mywonderland 发表评论于
It's a quite night now. Nobiody here. Only me is thinking about you. What are you doing now? in party, or driving on high way? even day time, I was still calculating where are you now. Hope you had a goood vacation. I am thinking about your softness, your love and your everything now. At same time, to read your previous love letter. Used to be always busy and busy, hardly having time to sit down and read and write.
mywonderland 发表评论于
I love you!
mywonderland 发表评论于
Tried to call you several times today. May be you are busy. These several days, actually I am very busy inside out. For the outside, this week, I have three presenations for Tech Review. For the inside, I brought a new TV and have to mount to the wall. Second day, I have return this TV. I could not return, Third day, I have to do again and brought a new one again to mount into wall again.Plus, every evening, there are numerous meetings. Now, finally, had some time.

I just want to see how are you these two days when are outside. Hope you are take care of your self. I miss you and thinking about you all the time even with a little bit time open. It's hard to put nice word here. "miss you" and "thinking about you" is enough to speak for its self.

I will add more ;ater.
mywonderland 发表评论于
真正爱一个人,总想呵护他,疼爱他,心里总有感激的爱怜。不想离开他的诱惑.心里只有和他亲近的欲望,眼里也满是崇敬,总想毫无杂念地投入他的怀抱。和他待在一起久一点,久一点.

虽然不是初恋的年纪,但是这种爱的能力使的心变的年轻起来。我希望永远爱着你,因爱而痴迷下去。你呢? 是否有和我一样的心里?

我会想我的爱人所想, 我希望他能在我的面前全然释放自己, 我也希望他能呵护我,替我着想.

我始终相信爱是相互呼应.只要心中有爱,无论是婚外情或是其他感情, 爱就是神圣的. 我不想总是自责自己.
你是否悟出了爱的道理? 或只是追求夹缝里的偷情?





mywonderland 发表评论于
九取声音与心田
有相无心相从心灭,有心无相相从心生

----书云,要知心里事,但看眼神清,眼乃心之门户,观其眼之善恶,必知心事之好歹,其心正则眸子必正眼视上其心必高,眼视下心有感思,眼转动而不言,心有疑虑;眼视斜而口是心非,益已害人,言不可听;眼正视,其人中正,入党无偏,眼恶心必恶,眼善心必慈,有阴鸳者,或救人难厄,或救人危险,济人贫穷,救人性命,不淫不乱,财宽量大容物。人俱有紫黄容红气色.发见于眼下.卧蚕之宫.印堂福堂之住.纵相貌不如.其心田好.终有富贵.若相貌堂堂,心事奸险,纵然富贵,不日贫穷。书云﹔未观相貌先看心田,有相无心相从心灭,有心无相相从心生,昔裴度还带,宋郊渡蚁,廉颇扶危救人过渡,各千金不受,本是不贵之相,後反大贵而阴阳扶之。声音宜响亮,出自丹田,脐下一寸是也。声响如雷灌耳,或如铜钟玉韵,或如瓮中之声,或如铜锣铜鼓,或如金声,或声长尾大如鼓之响,俱要清润,纵相貌不如,亦主富贵。或人小声大,人大声雄,俱要深远,丹田所出,此富贵绵远之相也。夭折贫贱之人,声轻声噎,声浮声散,声低声小,或如破锣破鼓,语音焦枯,声大尾焦,声雄不圆。书云,富贵之声出于丹田,夭贱之人,声出舌端,或有余韵,纵焦枯烈,早年虚耗,晚主发达矣。
----诀曰:言未举而色先变,话末尽而气先绝,俱夭贱之人。观声音,知为相之根本,观阴阳,知为相之元神,形貌莫外乎声音,阴阳部位不好,有此相者,竞许富贵﹒但声音响亮者﹐虽贫终能发达,不必狐疑。

mywonderland 发表评论于
Actually, we spend equal time on this site. Only thing is you are waiting for me, and I am waiting for you.Recently, we are just too busy with each others things. no feeling changed. I am not like you that your feeling change from moment to moment. too high and too low is not good. Keep love you all the time and all the same.
mywonderland 发表评论于
Hope that is your real feeling, nog just copy other one's pome. When we stay together, you treat me as a real man. so gental and understanding. When we separate, you talk to me over the phone, looks like a big boy, make me laughing and angry. Thinking about your all aspect, I only can say 爱屋及乌。I love you!
mywonderland 发表评论于
With time change, did your feeling change? I cannot see you here long time. Where are you? You real forget me? If you don't want come here any more, I will change to new account and kick you off.
mywonderland 发表评论于
我不想说,我很亲切;我不想说,我很纯洁;
可是我不能拒绝心中的感觉,
看看蓝蓝的天,摸摸真实的脸,
我的心情你要理解。
我不想说我很亲切;我不想说我很纯洁,
可是我不能拒绝心中的感觉,
想想长长的路,擦擦脚下的鞋,
不管明天什么季节!

一样的天,一样的脸,
一样的我就在你面前,
一样的路,一样的鞋,
我不能没有你的世界!
mywonderland 发表评论于
许多的爱我可以拒绝,许多的梦可以省略,
可是我不能忘记你的笑脸,
看看蓝蓝的天,摸摸真实的脸,
不管明天什么季节!
mywonderland 发表评论于
I am here to feel your feeling. You words make me laughing. What your means for writing somethings? I am missing you, thinking about you right now. Hope you can feel the same way. Wish I could stay with you right now. hold me, kiss me, touch me and love me.
mywonderland 发表评论于
Please write something here! Please
mywonderland 发表评论于
this good words
上邪,我欲与君相知。长命无绝衰。山无陵,江水为竭。冬雷震震,夏雨雪。天地合,乃敢与君绝
mywonderland 发表评论于
Enjoying your trip, take care your family and youself. It is not easy for you have a time relax. You always are too busy, so have a good relax.

mywonderland 发表评论于
Miss you from your country here. Thinking about when I drive by your home. Take care of your self
mywonderland 发表评论于
Actually, I was very nusy since yesterday evening. This morning, I sent our babaysiter to airport, and bring kids to zoo. up to now, don't have even time to check. Don't guess something. Keep happy. I love you.
mywonderland 发表评论于
你想我了吗? 你真正在乎我的感受吗? 我没有在这儿看到你的痕迹,感到非常的失望. 不要让我失望, 要珍惜你所拥有的爱, 愿你给我的爱能更多一点. 你知道吗你给我的爱再多也难超过我爱你的程度?不要使我成为感情的乞丐, 那样我会流泪,我会伤心,我不知道我该怎样做. 一旦有一天,你不在爱我时,我希望我比你还知道的早.
我想你, 在这儿胡思乱想, 在这儿胡说八道, 不知是给你讲还是给我讲? 看看上面的文章,我是不是那其中的一重人? 我是第几种人?
mywonderland 发表评论于
爱的误区

一生就是为了找寻爱的过程,每个人的人生都要找到四个人:

第一个是自己,
第二个是你最爱的人,
第三个是最爱你的人,
第四个是共度一生的人.

首先会遇到你最爱的人,然后体会到爱的感觉:因为了解被爱的感觉,所以才能发现最爱你的人:但很悲哀的,在现实生活中,这三个人通常不是同一个人; 你最爱的,往往没有选择你最爱你的,往往不是你最爱的:而最长久的,偏偏不是你最爱也不是最爱你的,只是在最适合的时间出现的那个人。
你,会是别人生命中的第几个人呢? 没有人是故意要变心的,他爱你的时候是真的爱你,可是他不爱你的时候也是真的不爱你了,他爱你的时候没有办法假装不爱你;同样的,他不爱你的时候也没有办法假装爱你 。
当一个人不爱你要离开你,你要问自己还爱不爱他,如果你也不爱他了,千万别为了可怜的自尊而不肯离开;如果你还爱他,你应该会希望他过得幸福快乐,希望他跟真正爱的人在一起,绝不会阻止, 你要是阻止他得到真正的幸福,就表示你已经不爱他了,而如果你不爱他,你又有什么资格指责他变心呢?爱不是占有,你喜欢月亮,不可能把月亮拿下来放在脸盆里,但月亮的光芒仍可照进你的房间。换句话说,你爱一个人,也可以用另一种方式拥有,让爱人成为生命里的永恒回忆。 如果你真爱一个人,就要爱他原来的样子─爱他的好,也爱他的坏:爱他的优点,也爱他的缺点,绝不能因为爱他,就希望他变成自己所希望的样子,万一变不成就不爱他了。
真正爱一个人是无法说出原因的,你只知道无论何时何地、心情好坏,你都希望这个人陪着你;真正的感情是两人能在最艰苦中相守,也就是没有丝毫要求。毕竟,感情必须付出,而不是只想获得;分开是一种必然的考验,如果你们感情不够稳固,只好认输,真爱是不会变成怨恨的。两人在谈情说爱的时候,最喜欢叫对方发誓,许下承诺我们为什么要对方发誓,就是因为我们不相信对方,我们根本不相信情人,而这些山盟海誓又很不切实际,海枯石烂、地老天荒,都不能改变我对你的爱! 明知道海不会枯、石不会烂、地不会老、天不会荒;就算会,也活不到那时候。
许下诺言的时候千万注意,不要许下可以实现的诺言,最好是承诺做不到的事,反正做不到的,随便说说也不要紧,请记住:”不可能实现的诺言最动人” 在爱情里,说的是一套,做的是另一套;讲的人不相信,听的人也不相信。你呢?找到了第几个?

茫茫人海中,你遇见了谁?谁又遇见了你

mywonderland 发表评论于
below is for young people.
拉图说,对于年轻人,更正确地说 —— 对于刚开始生活的人,爱情就在于他所爱的人的身体的爱。只有在她的身体上,他才看到物质世界的全部的美。然后,一个人就从身体走向心灵。随着一个人所获得的知识的程度,他也开始看到他所爱的人的精神的美。这种美慢慢就超越了身体的美。
这是从具象的美到意象的美的过程。不过,如同爱情本身不可按对错是非归类一样,爱情意象也是不可按爱情的归属来归类的。
经典的爱情意象必定表现了人类爱情的某些永恒内涵,因而具有永恒的价值。人生如梦,一瞬间事耳。然而,在人生个人梦境中唯一闪光者,不惟爱之意象乎?在浮躁的现代生活中,在浮躁的现代情感中,人们浮在人生的表面,不复关心永恒,不复关心终极,于是只游戏人生只纵情于声色快餐,终致冷落了爱之无常中那仅有的宝贵的永恒。
其实,这所谓宝贵所谓永恒,正是人生爱情中之至为重要至为经典的那种既具有个人独特体验又兼具人类之爱共性的 “ 意象 ” 。这 “ 意象 ” ,既存在于千古传诵的经典爱情故事中,又存在于每一个曾经为爱疯狂、为爱痴迷、为爱伤心、为爱失望的人的心渊的深处。
在人生爱情中,重要的不是行为,也不是结果,而是溺陷其中或超然其外的人们的精神和态度。真正的爱只关涉个人的灵魂。
爱情困难,爱情短暂,爱情不可靠,爱使人烦恼,说到爱就使人想骂娘 …… 但是,你到底不能否认,你曾经憧憬过盼望过幻想过探求过即使你是爱的失败者批判者反对者,人间确实是有那么一个叫作爱情的真东西的。
这个真东西在现实中难以求证,在文学艺术中难以确信,在个人的预期中不太可靠 …… 但它却在你的梦中出现过,在那些还留在你心里闪光的诗中发现过,在你的灵魂里留存过 —— 如果你能感受自己的灵魂的话。
如果说 “ 爱情 ” 一词在一个心灵逐渐锈蚀的时代越来越失去其魅力、神圣和价值,越来越受到怀疑、嘲讽和否定的话,那么我们讨论爱情信念爱情意象爱情态度便显得格外引人注目与不合时宜。但是,灵魂问题终究是回避不了的。
尽管爱情的身影在现实中显得很单薄,那只是因为,尘俗十分巨大,十分沉重,单薄的肉体几乎不能负载它;威胁爱情的种种因素导致了爱的艰难,爱的脆弱;灵魂只能演变成幽灵。但即便如此,幽灵也仍然在行走,幽灵依旧未曾倒下。种种残缺、阴影、冲突和庸凡,也不能阻止爱的理想与追寻。
爱情不是一个人对另一个人在物理意义上的简单功用问题,而是复杂甚至神秘的精神和心理意义上的感受体悟与评价问题,很多人很普通,很多爱情很普通。但总有一些人希望自己能够不普通,能够像千古传诵的可歌可泣的爱情故事中那些主角们那样,通过某种形式,成为传奇里的人物。于是,他们在梦幻中,在爱情意象的氤氲中,将不属于尘世的灵魂,交给了爱情。
现实毕竟太强大了,尘世毕竟太沉重了,绝大多数人的努力最终完成之时,他们并没有变成传奇里的情圣,反而更加清晰地昭示了处于时代与历史的悲剧大背景下的男女们的凡人本质。
于是,他们不能飞翔了,即使在想象上也不能飞翔了。因为他们已经历经沧桑,生命之树已经镌刻了太多伤痕。他们只能手牵手慢慢地走着,面对面慢慢地说着,那种表面平静下的无奈,那种灵魂的空空如也,跟所有的普通人没有两样。
探究 “ 爱 ” 的意象,也就是探究人性的意象。你信任爱情吗?是的,但这种信任又是那么飘忽游移,那么不确定,那么难以把握,危机四伏。就像上帝的灵光,你信任那束光的存在,却不一定看得见它。为什么看不见?上帝说:那是因为你原罪没有肃清;哲学家说:那是因为人性固有的弱点。
爱情其实是人性的表现,是人性的主体部分。探究爱情,会透视人性深处的种种隐秘。你会发现,人们生活于现实的情感生活中,也生活于他们的爱情意象中。前者是他们生活的物质世界、现实世界,后一组意象则象征了他们的心理世界。对这两种爱的态度,反映了他们对人生对人性的态度,也映现着灵魂孤寂无援的愧疚。
一定有爱这种东西存在,但是它注定艰难,难以把握,它存在于某些事物的深处。它有时会以某种单纯浪漫的外表出现,但这种单纯与浪漫,在穿越人世艰辛、经历时光磨砺后往往是脆弱的、易碎的,只有那些真正对它怀有一腔宗教般热忱的心灵,才有可能抵达它的深部 ——— 一个光明的、仍然具有单纯与浪漫的深部。
爱是一种无法言说的,集结了人类所有精粹的事物。它带给人们内心为爱所生的巨大内驱力,它总是关涉灵魂
mywonderland 发表评论于
I will be very busy whole day today. Hope to setele done everything smoothly. Once I finish my side, I will contact you. Don't worry about me.
I felt like physically more live close you, your heart more far away me. Maybe that just my feeling because it is too busy. Everything will be ok.
mywonderland 发表评论于
Where are you right now. I did not see any word from you
mywonderland 发表评论于
These couple of days, you don't have access at home. Hope you can have a good time to have a good sleep. You will be vey busy in next several weeks. Take care of yourself.
mywonderland 发表评论于
TRy to be happy alll the time. Sometime, there will be some un-known un-constrolable things happen. But still keep happy. For example, whne you told me what is going to happen in next several weeks, I am not very happy at begining. However, after thoughts, I think that this is un-controlable, not by you and not by me. You have to do whatever have to do. After that, I am not "un-Happy". Actually, it shows that you are a so good woman who care about kids and family. Then, we can think about how to best solve the issue. We always can solve the problem one way or another.
mywonderland 发表评论于
It is NOT I don't want to some here to write. Actually, I written at Sartuday. Since then, we are constatant talking.

Now, I found a problem, everytime, after we had good time, you will create some issue. Now, you said that "Even you want to stay away from me (I know is not this time)you can write here". I did not say this. This is your accusation to me. I just feel good and enjoy now. Hope you too.
mywonderland 发表评论于
相遇错过都是缘 2007-08-05 20:33:53

什么是缘分?有人问隐士。隐士想了一会说:缘是命,命是缘。
  此人听的糊涂,去问高僧。
  高僧说:缘是前生的修炼。 这人不解自己的前生如何,就问佛祖。
  佛不语,用手指天边的云。
  这人看去,云起云落,随风东西,于是顿悟:缘不可求的,缘如风,风不定。云聚是缘,云散也是缘。
  感情也如云,万千变化,云起时汹涌澎湃,云落时落寞舒缓。感情的事如云聚云散,缘分是可遇不可求的风。
  世上有很多事可以求,唯缘分难求。茫茫人海,浮华世界,多少人真正能寻觅到自己最完美的归属,又有多少人在擦肩而过中错失了最好的机缘。或者又有多少人有正确的选择却站在了错误的时间和地点。
  有时缘去缘留只在人一念之间。
  人无法更改自己的血缘,骨子里的东西根深蒂固的难以改变,即使后天的影响可以让人有无穷的变化空间,最终影响人作出影响自己一生的重大决定之时,人的先天感觉会左右他的进退取舍,这或许方是命运的本来意义。
  特别类如感情事,为情所困在所难免,去留聚散真的也许就在一念之间。毕竟这更是两人的彼此命运性格的交互感应,落花可有意,流水可无情,缘分更如风一样无状无形,无可把握。
  天下性情中人,世间痴男怨女,为得佳缘,苦尽岁月,又在得失踌躇中感叹,匆匆一生,何为有缘?
  其实缘即如风,来也是缘,去也是缘。已得是缘,未得亦是缘。
  不管你曾经有多美的梦想,放弃是懒惰,强求也不是手段。
  昨夜告诉一个感伤快乐时光流失太快的朋友,原本在一起的那些挚友已不再来了,与其伤感,不如转念放宽。
  相遇是缘,错过也是缘!
  缘来缘去,不必强求!


mywonderland 发表评论于
Sounds like you are not going to come here any more. Even you had time you would not check here. I wish we could always share the thought and feeling. Even you want to stay away from me (I know is not this time)you can write here. I am not so weak that I can not bear any problem. I like to face a little bit challenge but not too much.
mywonderland 发表评论于
Don't disappoint for not meet today. I love you so much. We did not get ready there you know. In addition, I dreamed you all morning that I already exhaused. I still have to handld a lot things here. Kiss you and Love you!!1
mywonderland 发表评论于
it is not my english problem. I checked the dictionary it is right.Here company means "陪伴,相随".you even cannot be a normal friend to help me at this point, am I right?
mywonderland 发表评论于
"I don't know why I can accept your not company"

What is this mean? Could you use Chinese or different English?
mywonderland 发表评论于
Even your a little bit care, a little bit express your feeling's words touch my heart deeply. I don't know why I can accept your not company and I have to refuse other people's help. Perhaps I already get used to do anything by myself. But really anwser is for love you. Want to stay with you alone.
mywonderland 发表评论于
I am thinking about you and want you. Since 女人is 被动. So woman could be always thinking about and miss about the man and sending the signals out. and the man is always 主动. Man not only needs to thinking about you. Man need to find a way to thinking about you and want you. Now, I am try to find a good time to have you.
mywonderland 发表评论于
This weekend, you will be prety hard. Hope you still take a rest at your busy time. I love you.
mywonderland 发表评论于
I tried to send to this blog last night. It frozen.

This article is very fit. you and me need to read a couple more times. what do you think?
mywonderland 发表评论于
I think you will like this artical below
如果你今天还热衷于纯粹地做1号或者0号,只能说你快要落伍了。现在时尚流行的是中性性别,是提倡男人和女人在性生活中彼此平等、尊重;提倡不拘泥于传统性别角色的影响,即男人必须主动,女人必须被动;提倡男人和女人在性生活中充分地发掘自己的潜能,并且将这种潜能建设性地运用到他们的性生活中。

  对于火辣辣的性爱来说,最具解放意味的是做这样一场介于0、1之间的0.5式性爱。

  他们的困惑

  安平和妻子凡妮结婚已经三年了。有人说,婚姻三年是一道坎。用弗洛依德的理论解释,这道坎主要还是指渐渐趋于平淡的性。安平尚在单身时,就充满了性的苦闷,他有时觉得,渴望婚姻内的性满足是他急于结婚的重要原因,所以,三年前抱得美人归时,他和妻子曾创下了连续七天七夜不下楼,肆意享受男欢女爱的记录。

  但是三年后,他很快感到了许多不满足,他觉得自己像个开拓者,每次过性生活前,都需要他先发动机器,助燃气氛,才能慢慢地调动妻子的热情。

  对于许多男人来说,可能觉得这无可厚非,或者天经地义。男人的特点就是要在性生活中扮演主动进攻者,这一方面满足男人的征服欲,也符合男人的生物性别特点。但是安平却不这样认为,他感觉任何一个男人,如果每次性生活都需要做开拓者,日久天长,也感到累了。

  况且,他们总是遵循着传统的男上女下的传教士式的姿势,一年又一年,千篇一律,安平都觉得像做功课一样,有些腻味了,每次看着妻子被动的承受的脸,甚至有些渴望他尽快结束时地忍耐的神情,他立刻兴味索然。安平有点担心,这样长久下去,他大概也快要加入“ED(勃起功能障碍)”患者的行列了。

  他一直很渴望某一次,妻子像个男人一样,主动来挑逗他。他做她的俘虏,心甘情愿地受她的摆布,那会是多么美妙的滋味啊,哪个男人不希望女人肆意地享受自己的身体?为什么好像只有女人才在性生活中是奉献者的角色呢?

  两个人感觉彼此之间因为性的缺少渐渐有些隔膜,再后来,妻子生下了一个胖胖的儿子,立即全身心地投入到育儿的工作中,安平自然靠边站,那一颗躁动的心只好愈发地心灰意冷了。

  一年后,安平居然悲哀地发现,他和妻子本年度性生活次数不超过十二次,也就是有时一个月尚不到一次,他们快要成无性夫妻了。

  转机是在一个周末。那天孩子被送到外婆家,好像为了弥补孕期对丈夫的忽视,有一天,安平下班回家,刚推开门,眼前的情景让他呆了,暗红色的窗帘低垂下来,屋里灯光朦胧,妻子刚沐浴过,长发披散在身后,她热情地接过他的外套,他们深情地依偎着倒在沙发上时,妻子伏在他的耳边悄悄地说:“我想要。”

  安平事后说妻子的那句“我想要”让他如被电击一般,全身立刻兴奋起来。

  接下来,妻子好像换了个人似的,她为他宽衣解带,而安平好像一个不解风情的处男一样,任凭着妻子引导他,他事后说妻子那晚表现得疯狂而大胆,与以前判若两人,自始至终,她在控制着主动权,他则被动地听凭妻子发落,直到他们疯狂地到达激情的巅峰。

  事情过后,他们都惊讶地发现,这一次的体验是全新的,妻子躺在他怀里,娇嗔地问他:“我是不是像个坏女人?我没想到感觉会那么好。”

  安平心满意足,他说:“傻瓜,这正是我渴望的呀。”

  是什么阻碍了女人主动

  在女性主义的各种思潮正深入地影响着今日两性关系时,一种新的性爱理论—做一场0.5式的性爱正在流行开来。

  0.5式性爱的主要内容提倡男人和女人在性生活中彼此平等、尊重;提倡不拘泥于传统性别角色的影响,即男人必须主动,女人必须被动;提倡男人和女人在性生活中充分地发掘自己的潜能,并且将这种潜能建设性地运用到他们的性生活中。

  这种观念的提出,无疑是革命性的。

  在《海蒂性学报告》中,女人们一直在抱怨,受着传统男权文化的压迫,她们在性生活中总处于被支配者的位置,男人们决定了一场性爱应该怎么做?当他们希望和一个女人上床之前,他们希望这个女人纯洁得最好对性一无所知;可是当他们和这个女人到了床上后,他们又希望这个女人风情万种,甚至变成传说中的荡妇。

  女人们因此而面临着两难处境在公开的社会文化中,她们很难接受到有关性生活的知识,即便是在有关女性性生活的知识中,她们也教导着要做淑女,要成为羞羞答答的羔羊,等待着男人来征服。所以一旦婚后,女人们发现自己对性几乎一无所知,她们仅凭着在婚前接受的教育,认为女人上床后,要做的工作就是被动地等待和承受,她们甚至总把性理解为一种不公平的女人为男人的奉献。像无数的影视镜头那样,女演员一副上刑场般的大义凛然和悲壮地缓缓解开自己的衣服,一边对她心爱的腥怂担骸鞍嘲焉碜咏桓?懔耍?憧梢?园掣涸鸢。 ?/p>

  当男欢女爱变得如此沉重时,造成大量性冷淡的女人和ED男人也就不足为怪了。

  将女人视为性的被动承受者,不但造成女人的性冷淡,性无知,甚至“似乎生来就对性不感兴趣”,也伤害了必须在性生活中主动的男人。

  男人的外表和内心随便问一个男人,他们外表上喊着要娶淑女回家,喊着女人在性上越纯洁越好,但私底下,大概没有一个男人,希望娶回家的淑女摆在堂屋上方,成为供奉的神像。如果这个淑女变成了木美人,在床上什么风情都不解,男人们大概绝望得恨不得要跳楼了。

  所以有一句话说是:男人们希望妻子在厨房里是主妇,在客厅里是贵妇,在床上是荡妇,后者恰恰代表了男人的本能和潜意识,是他们心底最真实的渴望。

  但为什么男人对娶回家的女人有如此矛盾的心态呢?在上床前希望女人纯洁得一无所知,上床后又希望她风情万种?

  道理不难明白,前者是男权文化的影响,后者是男人的生理本能决定。男权文化一直在教导男人,他们要支配女人,只有让女人对性一无所知,否则,好像撒旦的魔鬼一样,一旦女人深谙性的美妙后,男人们担心女人是否也会像自己一样,四处寻欢作乐,更难以控制了?

  可是不但女人的本能决定了她们渴望获得性欢乐,了解性知识,在性生活中主动,富于创新精神,就是男人的本能也决定了他们需要在性上活跃,风情万种的女人,因为那种认为男人必须主动,女人必须被动的传统观点,已经既伤害了女人也伤害了男人。

  女性主义的发展推动0.5式性爱的风行环顾四周,我们不难看出各种女人在性领域掌握更多话语权的表现:各种传媒在给女人讲授相关性知识;《欲望都市》中的女人们让全世界的男人既目瞪口呆又觉得极其可爱;人气最旺的时尚女明星们不再是那些“纯情玉女”而是“性感宝贝”,女人们甚至喊出“不要性骚扰,我要性高潮”的口号。

mywonderland 发表评论于
"I would like to get your opinion about "如果你想下半辈子不安宁,你就找个小情人". Do you want to get a peace life or you would like to get a trouble life? "

I would like to have a peace life, and at same time, a happy life. Becareful here, the key word is "小". if it is not "小情人", I think it is not necessary to be "trouble life".
mywonderland 发表评论于
遇上你是我的缘
爱上你,却是我一生的快乐。

I feel honored and lucky. Hope it is truely your happyness for whole life, should say happyness of rest of you life no matter what happen.
mywonderland 发表评论于
遇上你是我的缘

爱上你,却是我一生的快乐。
mywonderland 发表评论于
真爱是对所爱人深深的同情加上爱惜,不舍得丢弃一丝一毫。

第一种 美丽的感觉

  俗话说情人眼里出西施,所以在有爱情的时候,你一定会觉得对方最好看,即使有别的异性比你爱的对象好看,但对你而言,他(她)才是你心中最美的一个,而且是别人根本无法相比的。


第二种 亲爱的感觉

  当你爱上一个人,你会有一种很亲切的感觉,跟他(她)在一起,你会觉得很舒服,很和谐。你可以信任并依赖他(她)。他(她)像是一个亲密的家人,甚至可以说,比一个家人更亲密,而且在这亲密里,你更体会到一份温馨的感觉--这就是亲爱的感觉。在这个爱情的国度里,他(她)愿意包容你所有的缺点。


第三种 羡慕及尊敬有感觉

  一个健康的爱情关系。应当有以对方为荣的感觉,你会欣赏对方所有的一切,包括内在与外在的条件和优点,并且对方也让你感觉,他(她)处处以你为荣。如果这种感觉存在的话,不论他(她)做这件事是成功或失败,你都会欣赏他(她)的才华,而不是只重视结果。


第四种 赞许的爱情

  相爱的时候,你是否喜欢夸奖对方,而且不仅是欣赏,或敷衍了事而已,你还会喜欢在他(她)不在的时候向其他人讲述他(她)的种种好,哪怕帮你泡一碗方便面。重要的是,你从夸奖对方的热诚之中感到无比的快乐。


第五种 受到尊重的自尊

  爱情关系可以提高一个人的自尊心,可以让你感觉到生活更有意义,因为爱情能够让你发现,其实你有着无人可比的独特性,虽然你有优点也有缺点,但是你的独特性使你受到无比的尊重,生命也因此更有价值。


第六种 占有欲

  爱情是绝对独占的,是不能与他人分享其亲密的男女关系,因此,当爱情从不确定走向稳定后,需要以婚姻来持续以后的日子,所以我们在结婚时彼此相约相许。在真实的爱情生活里,互相许诺忠诚是必要的。


第七种 行动自由

  如果一个人有正当的理由,他(她)的行动的自由一定要受到尊重,这样才不会破坏两人之间的爱情关系。爱跟着感觉走的人虽然十分令人担心或生气,但是对于热爱随性生活的人而言,限制或约束一点用都没有。还不如给他(她)自由、空间。他(她)总会回来的。


第八种 深深的同情

  人们对深爱的人常会有怜惜的感觉,经常会为对方考虑,如果对方受到挫折,我们会非常愿意为他(她)分担痛苦与挫折,把对方所受的苦当作自己所遭遇的苦难一样,或者更胜于自己的苦难,因为在爱情里,我们愿意为对方而牺牲自己的利益。


第九种 生理上的性冲动

  当我们在对异性产生兴趣或爱上某个异性时,都希望彼此有身体上的接触。在真实的爱情生活里,这种欲望是永远存在的。性冲动并不是单单只是行为,它还包含了许多其他亲密的身体上的接触,如牵手、拥抱等等,这种情感会永远存在于爱人心中。
mywonderland 发表评论于
I would like to get your opinion about "如果你想下半辈子不安宁,你就找个小情人". Do you want to get a peace life or you would like to get a trouble life?
mywonderland 发表评论于
根据科学研究报告,性爱的快感指数,是人类在非药物(毒品、麻醉剂等)情形下,快感指数最高的。包括你中了六合彩,竞选当上了总统或者州长,快感和兴奋都无法和性爱快感兴奋的瞬间相比拟,因此也可以间接得出结论,性爱是人类最重要的做人的基本权利。

mywonderland 发表评论于
如果你想一个礼拜不安宁,你就请客;如果你想半年不安宁,你就搬家;如果你想下半辈子不安宁,你就找个小情人.
mywonderland 发表评论于
:“色不能无情,情不能无色。英雄而不邪是死英雄,美人而不淫是泥美人。”
mywonderland 发表评论于
How's this artical? Do you like it?
芦笛:我想要情人

不想是假的,大概世上没哪个正常的男人不想要情人。妻子再好,也比不上完美无缺的梦中情人。再是国色天香,日久天长也就不新鲜了,何况可惜流年,忧愁风雨,树犹如此,何况佳人?


这说的当然是当年血气方刚的我,不是今天垂垂老矣的我。说来也怪,丧失了这种欲望之外,我非但不为自己的道德修养改善而欣慰,却有一种莫名的惆怅,一种丧失manhood的难言的懊丧。
所以,那“想”字其实是过去时,而怅惘恰是这时态变化引出来的。或许,具有能力和机会而终于没有作孽,可以构成人生的一种成就感?

不过,那想要而终于未要,其实并不是出于超人的自制,而是出于胆怯和顾虑。

想要情人,无非是两种原因,要么是性,要么是爱。男人没有爱也能有性,理想的情人,似乎就是那种“事如春梦了无痕”的露水姻缘,太阳出来了,什么都蒸发了,一切都如雾如烟,无牵无挂,互通有无,岂不痛快?

但若一方弄假成真,堕入爱河呢?如果是自己,岂不要痛苦一世?如果是对方,岂不要负疚终生?且不说无颜以对老妻,那甘苦共尝、相濡相煦的患难伴侣。

如果是爱,那就更麻烦。情人可不比老妻,可以直面相对,有意无意之间总免不了欺骗作戏成分,只把自己优秀的那面露出来。天长日久之后,对方发现了真相后又何以自处?就算不这样,万一对方厌倦了呢?或许因为客观原因无法再相处下去,那岂不是要断肠?

追欢逐乐,最后却深陷无从自拔的烦恼,那又何苦?欢乐从来不会在心灵中抛锚,痛苦才能在记忆中永驻。

所以,想爱而终于不敢爱,那代价太沉重,自我意识太强烈、太重感情、太怕丧失爱的人支付不起。







万润南:从芦兄想要情人说起



我在那边发文章,芦兄常就我谈到的话题说起,说得话透理彻、文采斐然,令人叹服。在这边读到老芦的《我想要情人》,不禁莞尔。没想到芦兄政论文写得漂亮,抒情散文也写得如此情真意切、韵味无穷。我也来一篇《从芦兄想要情人说起》,算是投桃报李吧。



老芦的怅然若失,大概只有我这样的老男人才能体会。年轻的时候,有贼心,没有贼胆;中年时光,有贼胆,没有贼心,因为忙事业、顾家庭……;临老了,贼心还不死,贼胆也足够,却发现贼没了。这种莫名的惆怅、那种难言的懊丧,岂只是一个愁字了得。



论老芦的能力和条件,赢得佳人芳心,应当是游刃有余。我们那个年代,泡妞的三部曲是:一要痛说革命家史;二要宏观指导人生;三是直接进入主题。老芦操弄前二步的才华和能力,我认为几乎无人能望其项背,只是不了解进入关键的第三步时,老芦的意志和决心。也许,正是在这一步,老芦常常功亏一簧,因此留下无穷的遗憾,落得此恨绵绵无绝期。果如此,我也为之一叹。



老芦说:“想要情人,无非是两种原因,要么是性,要么是爱。”诚哉斯言。性属于“色”,爱则是“情”。我在阿成那里看到过一幅朱新建的画,写意水彩,一个戏装的山大王,一个美人坯子的泥娃娃。有意思的是画幅上的题词:“色不能无情,情不能无色。英雄而不邪是死英雄,美人而不淫是泥美人。”看来老芦是参透了前两句了,不知对后两句的理解能到什么程度。



芦兄不邪,有时候话说得刻薄点,但字里行间都透着正气。老芦非但不邪,而且是那种家居的好男人。我这里有文为证:他生怕一旦弄假成真,便“无颜以对老妻,那甘苦共尝、相濡相煦的患难伴侣。”难得的好男人啊。



不过,女人眼中的好男人,似乎还有别的条件。我记得张爱玲曾说过女人眼中的男人。如果男人调戏女人,女人就会说,这不是个好人。如果男人不调戏她,她又会说,这不是个男人。可见做好男人难哪!我一辈子都没达到好男人的标准。不是被人骂不是男人,就是被人骂不是好人。现在老了,好不好、男不男,都无所谓了。



老芦写此文,可见还有点贼心不死。我作为过来人,劝兄一句:此事想想可以,真实行起来,麻烦无穷。钱钟书在什么地方说过:如果你想一个礼拜不安宁,你就请客;如果你想半年不安宁,你就搬家;如果你想下半辈子不安宁,你就找个小情人。人生有三大忌讳:少年得志、中年折翅、临老入花丛。我不幸已经摊上了前两宗,如果再犯上第三忌,没准就会要了我的老命。



这些话,年轻人是听不懂的。就算是我们老头子在这里喃喃自语吧。

mywonderland 发表评论于
What I said that we don't want to seek trouble. Actually, we want to find way to avoid. I always thinking that crossing the border is one of scarest things to do, because you never know what is INS people try to do. IN US, you don't fight with IRS and INS people, try to avoid them.

Now, you are super sensitive to everything, like a woman. There are 100 pieces love information and you will only pick one piece of possible vagued information to analysis such as what I said "punishment". What I mean is that the price today we pay extra is about three hours on the road, plus a possible medical emergency situation which you realy cannot predict and control.

Be positive and Be happy. Loving each other is always fair. I love you and you love me are always fair.
mywonderland 发表评论于
I would like you action more and talk more. Don't just copy past my words. Open your heart, have me get in it. When I was driving today, I was just thinking, thinking, thinking about your every detail things. You really love me right? even you had a little bit trouble today. If you thought that was a punish, maybe you will face more difficult later. If that will scare away you from me? I like to be with you more than you like to stay with me. That is not fair.
mywonderland 发表评论于
Man's saddest thing is he cannot do action. Woman's saddest thing is she cannot talking.

OK. Do you want to switch? I will talk more, and you will do action more. You you like this?
mywonderland 发表评论于
Back to your first message:

Actually, as a man, or a real man, his responsibility is to solve his lover's un-happyness. If she is happy, everything is fine. Man ia man, man don't try to create something un-happy if it is happy. If that is the case, you will accuse him being like a woman. Woman is a talking "animal". Man is an action "animal". You don't want to change this too much until you don't like it. What I mean is that, you, being like a woman, a real woman, you should talk, talk, and talk. At same time, me, being like a man, should not talk too much unless you have some trouble, e.g. if you are "sad". Man should put into action, real man's action will create real woman's response and talking. Is that right?!
mywonderland 发表评论于
If that is the case, here this is alos what I say:
I love you, miss you,think you, dream you,hold you, kiss you.
mywonderland 发表评论于
I love you, miss you,think you, dream you,hold you, kiss you.
mywonderland 发表评论于
Actually in you heart, you like me feel sad. When I wrote words to express our love feeling for you, you just grabbed and enjoy by youself. No any respons to me. But If I write sad words here, you can write words touch my heart. I would like to hear you say you miss me and love me.
mywonderland 发表评论于
I cannot find his phone number but I write a email to him.

mywonderland 发表评论于

I have to give someone credit for these words that really wrote what I like to say to you:
我的心里都是你,你牵引着我的全部,举手投足,一颦一笑

我知道,有一天你会离我而去,我会感到幸福,一辈子爱着你,等着你.
活出自己的精彩.

mywonderland 发表评论于
Just forget the second message. My birthday and blood type has been decided. I will be what I were used to be per your theory. I will be the person you like to be.
I come her and write here that means I miss you and I want to talk to you even sometimes very dark night.
My heart is transparence to you and open to you. I also believe that so do you. Otherwise, how we can love each other so much.
Don't just educated me. I like to hear lovely words.

mywonderland 发表评论于
Still for your second message:

I fell soory to see that "I am totally lost myself". It's my fault to too much corner you using B-type/Dec-BirthDay type of "theory". You don't have to keep this in mind too much.

Loot at me, I supposed to know this best as I said that I have already studied these stuff way during college and graduate school. I think that I am a worst case if apply the "theory" to my life. I am just pretend to be optimistic.

Back to your "Dec-type of person" both in work and life. Don't worry about, you cannot change your self. You don't have to change. You are wahtever you are I will love you. It is bad idea if you want to change yourself. Keep whatever you are right now and be yourself, I always love you.

You certainly can say whatever here. At same time, don't worry what my comments to put here. Like you said, this is a place to write what you cannot say in daily life.

The only word I need you to remeber is "Be Happy!" I try to make you happy if I see you are not happy here. If you are still not happy, it is still my fault.
mywonderland 发表评论于
Your two messages are too differently.

First message is look like what we have talked in the day together.

Second message is alos a little bit get me lost. I amy need to talk to you face to face to understand what exactly your meaning. However, if I guess what you mean, you may want to say that sometime, it's hard to me always Dec-working, B-type in life. Sometime, you will be a little bit un-balance.

Actually, these are just what our talks, Don't take too serious about so called "my thoery". I have already proved "my theory" wrong using my life time experience. I will write again. I have to go now.
mywonderland 发表评论于
I am totally lost myself. I come here to face you again. I really really miss you and want to talk to you here. You don't need to take care me just do what you want to do. I don't want to scare you away because my unstable. But at least I can come here talk to you. forget my not consistance and my un-balance but that is me. I am not sure if I will become the person work as B-type and life as December. But I hope you still love me. whether or not that means: someday when you don't love me, I am certainly a December's life person. If that is possible that I am work as December person and feeling as December person too?
mywonderland 发表评论于
I am so tired today, but I still want to come here to say love you before get bed. I am so happy because I can stay with you longer than I expected. "爱我你怕了吗? 爱如能无牵无挂,天有什么办法?" I really like these words that is my real feeling now. Love you,love you, wish love you foever. I am the one "敢爱,敢恨,感失去" 为爱不考虑代价!
mywonderland 发表评论于
The copy/paste article is a prety good one to read!

Back you what you have written, It is may be same situation in our both sides. There are some worries when we are both at very happy time. We don't want to lose the happy time current we have. At same time, we are worry about what-if. What if some outside force involved? Not only my reputation, also your reputation too. That is why let's discuss.

As for what you said "But if I am B-type work person+ December man personality what you are going to do with me?"
If you are "B-type work person+ December man personality", you would be the worst person to be around for anybody, not even to mention me (Susan was looking like that type of person). In fact, you are not that type of person. However, in last two or three days of your behaviour, you are try to go to that direction. Things are that you don't know how to change and just change to a wrong direction. I am sure that you would figure out after a couple weeks by yourself. I may not need to point out and you can correct it by yourself. I will not like yourself if you are B-type work person+ December man personality.
mywonderland 发表评论于
You make me laughing, I am not so scare to be a opposit person. But if I am B-type work person+ December man personality what you are going to do with me?

You are a such kind of person whom I try to protect and love in heart. I am thinking of the best way to maitain your reputation and your career.

I try very hard to be away from you, but all planing was messed up by your action. So that "想不想你都不行". The word below deed my feeling

知道你在那里
我假装不在意
突然没看见你
我急得四处找你

你没入网海
已无踪影
为何我还在这里
傻傻地等你
任凭那
磅礴的泪滴
洒满地

我决定不想你
想你忘了自己
一网情深归何处
丹心一片在梦里

想不开
窗外飘着绵绵细雨
情不断心太乱
想着昨夜星星
哼着曲
不想你
算不算一场胜利

不想你
我只想共振的频率
不想你
我只想天边的约定

想你,不想你!
想你,不偏不倚!
mywonderland 发表评论于
Look at your titles here:
"my heart always with you";
"This is a space here only belong to you and me."
"Soar with your soul"
"mywonderland, 32岁"

This should be you!

However, Now you are changing to
"my heart wants to go away from you";
"This is the space here belong to you, and I will have another space for me."
"Drop with your soul"
"mywonderland, 64岁"
mywonderland 发表评论于
I don't know what make are so low these two days when you are so high after you are back from far away place. You have balanced personality ( B + December). Try to balance in a "good" side, and not in "bad" direction. May be you are always in some kind of "contridiction state. After you are "thinking" you are go one direction "too much" (only your own thoughts", you want to find some "hints" go to the oppsite direction. That's fine as long as this is temporey thing, and it's your mind fighting. But always try to remeber that it is "B-personal life + Dec-working" type of woman to make you are so unique, and always young. Your high intelligence should make you saty at this direction of balance and not oppsite side.
mywonderland 发表评论于
When I am thinking about how to create to safe environment, you are suddenly thinking about different direction--"guilt", "independent", "fresh air", ...,... You are changing from B-type of soft lover character to December-type of strong woman too quick. Try to be stable. In your lifem it realy need a B-blood type of soft, 感情丰富、充满幻想's woman. This make you are so attractive. In your working environment, you need to keep December type strong woman which can compete with anyone and anything. Don't try to switch. It will be a very terrible thing. Think about if you bring December type to personal life which you will be look like a man, and bring B-type of soft character into working which will be like someone else.
mywonderland 发表评论于
don't want you feel too guilt. don't want me too dependent on you in thinking. Try to be free from current situation. breath fresh air, try to be back myself. In case, you thought I lost eveything but thinking you only. At that moment you will feel boring.
mywonderland 发表评论于
何处是女人婚外情的归路?

Let's discuss.
mywonderland 发表评论于
I am care more for this part below. The result is not good for the woman with affair. How to avoid this tragedy happen on me that is what I consider. Please help!
只有当婚外情接近尾声,女人才会悲哀地发现爱情的脆弱和男人的无情,才会发现婚外的激情,永远不可能取代健康婚姻的平淡、真挚和踏实。爱情总是盲目的,正是这种盲目,成就了天下无数幸福的婚姻,也造成了无数女人终生的悔恨。女人的天生重情,使她们注定要在一个强大的男人社会,因为非正常的感情而付出远比男人高昂的代价。

何处是女人婚外情的归路?
mywonderland 发表评论于
This is a very good article. I am still try to understand it. Most of them is exactly like talking about you. What do you think? Here are a couple of similarities to you:

1. XXX 的出轨,决非生活的不幸,因为“我的婚姻看上去是美满的。不管怎么说,普通女人想得到的我都有了。”真正的答案可能是,“我是他所谓的‘浸透了性的’女人,是有着男性喜爱的原因的女人。

2. 只是当她发现自己疯狂爱上那个男人之后,性才成为婚外情的主题。女人在恋爱初期通常“因爱而性”,但一旦陷入激情,往往会像男人一样“因性而爱”。

3. 发生婚外情,大多猝不及防。也许她早就对某个男人心存好感,只是这种好感被婚姻的忠诚信念长期压抑,没有机会释放,也许她根本就不知道自己需要一个什么样的男人,甚至不知道自己早就对婚姻心生厌倦。但是,只要遭遇足够暧昧的场景,一个偶然的火星,会将女人内心深处的欲火点燃。

4. 大多数出轨的女。她庄重地守护着她的神圣爱情,就像当年她守护自己的处女身一样。“我偏执地相信,只要性是‘自由’的,那么世界很快将成为乐园。”劳伦斯夫人的这句名言,也许代表了大部分处于婚外情高潮期女人的心声。

5.越是受过高等教育的女人,越容易发生婚外情,而恰恰是她们,越不会轻易地放弃婚姻。

6. 婚外情与正常恋情的最大不同,是其中“性”扮演着过于重要的角色。俗语所说的“偷情”,其实更多的是“偷性”。性的愉悦给女人极大的快感,使她体会到了一种强烈的放松和放纵,而这是正常婚姻不能给她的。一个“由性而爱”、“浸透了性”的女人,往往会对那个给他带来强烈性快感的男人产生终生不可磨灭的印记,

7. 一个感情丰富、充满幻想能力的女人,往往比一个现实的女人更容易深陷婚外情而不能自拔。

8. ...,...
mywonderland 发表评论于
See this artical scared me
有这样一个女人,在她31岁时,突然碰到一个自称是“弗洛伊德的学生”的瘦削男人,经过短短六个星期的短暂交往,她决定放弃丈夫和她的三个孩子,与这个男人私奔。

这便是著名的劳伦斯夫人。劳伦斯夫人的出轨,决非生活的不幸,因为“我的婚姻看上去是美满的。不管怎么说,普通女人想得到的我都有了。”真正的答案可能是,“我是他所谓的‘浸透了性的’女人,是有着男性喜爱的原因的女人。”(《不是我 而是风——劳伦斯夫人的一生》)

对一个充满激情的女人来说,安全和平淡的婚姻不仅不够幸福,反而意味着一种危险,因为她们需要更加丰富多彩的感情生活,而性是其中一个重要的支撑环节,或者说润滑剂。女人追求婚外情,刺激的性一开始并不是主要原因,只是当她发现自己疯狂爱上那个男人之后,性才成为婚外情的主题。女人在恋爱初期通常“因爱而性”,但一旦陷入激情,往往会像男人一样“因性而爱”。

女人为什么会爱上婚外的“那个男人”?沉闷的婚姻、毫无情趣的性、乏味或者风流的男人、寂寞的心灵,都可能是答案。当她想着自己的灵魂一天天老去,而容貌和身体依旧充满生机时,她的潜意识提醒她,我该不该用自己的肉体来酬谢灵魂?女人太习惯用灵魂的付出来过度地驱使肉体,这不正是我们衰老的原因吗?她躺在浴缸里,闭着眼睛这样想,生命在于运动?不,生命在于爱情,因为爱情是灵魂的运动。

女人发生婚外情,大多猝不及防。也许她早就对某个男人心存好感,只是这种好感被婚姻的忠诚信念长期压抑,没有机会释放,也许她根本就不知道自己需要一个什么样的男人,甚至不知道自己早就对婚姻心生厌倦。但是,只要遭遇足够暧昧的场景,一个偶然的火星,会将女人内心深处的欲火点燃。

她开始频繁地与那个男人约会,或者是晚上,或者是白天。她找各种借口去外地出差,去与情人幽会。她们疯狂地做爱,不停通过掐咬在对方肉体写下爱的印记。她甚至寻找一切可能,趁丈夫外出时,把情人带到家中,在自己的床上做爱,以证明他才是她“真正的爱人”。出轨的女人仿佛重新拾回青春,她容光焕发,姿色动人,浑身充满激情,无论是老公,还是同事,都对她惊为天人。

大多数出轨的女人,往往很难再让丈夫轻易碰自己。她觉得自己的身体专属于情人,情人才是她的世界,她的唯一主人。她会将丈夫的性要求视作一种冒犯,一种对她新开辟的爱情天空的亵渎。她庄重地守护着她的神圣爱情,就像当年她守护自己的处女身一样。“我偏执地相信,只要性是‘自由’的,那么世界很快将成为乐园。”劳伦斯夫人的这句名言,也许代表了大部分处于婚外情高潮期女人的心声。

与主动出轨的女人不同,很多女人往往出于对出轨男人的报复,才红杏出墙。一个原本恪守妇道的贤惠端庄女人,在寻找“疗伤大夫”的过程中,爱上一个通情达理、活力四射的情人。她突然发现自己成为一个激情大胆、充满挑逗的“荡妇”,对男女之间的情感游戏游刃有余,玩弄男人于股掌之间。对自己如此强大的魅力,她既沉醉,又不安,甚至在宁静的午夜,她感到阵阵空虚和无奈。然而,这种念头只是一闪而过,她太喜欢这种刺激的游戏了。

只有当婚外情的第一波高潮之后,女人才会想到婚姻。如果她的情人是一个合格的丈夫人选,她会迫切地要与他结婚。她开始通过各种各样的渠道暗示他尽快离婚,因为一个稍有理智的女人,通常会让男人先离婚。尽管如此,还是有女人迫不急待地抛弃丈夫,或者因为过早摊牌被丈夫抛弃。

当女人考虑向家庭退缩时,男人通常早已厌倦。如果她的情人是一个已婚男人,那么他早就打定主意不离婚,因为婚外情只是婚外情,它只是对婚姻的补充和平衡,而不是取代。如果她的情人是一个未婚男人,那么,放心好了,他要么在物色下一个情人,要么在寻找结婚的对象。

婚外情之所以更容易让女人受伤,是因为沉重的道德枷锁,使她们总是先于男人开始忏悔。沸腾的婚外性,强烈的负疚感,让她一会儿低头傻笑,一会儿以泪洗面。她开始越来越多关心丈夫和孩子,而在这个过程中,她又感到了一种强烈的悔恨、自责和伤痛。

当她绝望地发现她的情人不可能离婚时,女人开始萌生出回归家庭的强烈意愿。越是受过高等教育的女人,越容易发生婚外情,而恰恰是她们,越不会轻易地放弃婚姻。有数据证明,在所有离婚的案件当中,婚外情造成的离婚率不到25%。

然而,凡事都有例外。少数出轨女人,不仅不排斥丈夫,反而因为婚外情的新鲜刺激增加了婚姻的信心,她甚至可能比过去更爱她的丈夫。是的,她需要情人,可她并不想牺牲婚姻。越是强大的女人,越不介意离婚。她清楚地知道男人不可能离婚,也清楚地知道,一桩通过婚外情换来的婚姻,往往意味着新的婚外情。既然男人可以“家里红旗不倒,外面彩旗飘飘”,女人为什么不能?既然男人认为婚外情是对“倾斜”婚姻的一种平衡,女人为什么不能主动平衡?

婚外情与正常恋情的最大不同,是其中“性”扮演着过于重要的角色。俗语所说的“偷情”,其实更多的是“偷性”。性的愉悦给女人极大的快感,使她体会到了一种强烈的放松和放纵,而这是正常婚姻不能给她的。一个“由性而爱”、“浸透了性”的女人,往往会对那个给他带来强烈性快感的男人产生终生不可磨灭的印记,这使她即便回归家庭,历经多年,也很难将心灵深处的创伤抚平。一有机会,她仍然可能与那个男人私奔。

婚外情的长久取决于激情与现实的抗争,取决于当事双方肉体性爱之外的“精神造爱”能力。一个感情丰富、充满幻想能力的女人,往往比一个现实的女人更容易深陷婚外情而不能自拔。如果说婚姻是一辆汽车,婚外情就好比是一架飞机。它只有永远保持足够快的飞行速度,才能不掉下来,而现实中,有多少人能够长期承受这种以“激情”作燃料的“高速飞行”?

只有当婚外情接近尾声,女人才会悲哀地发现爱情的脆弱和男人的无情,才会发现婚外的激情,永远不可能取代健康婚姻的平淡、真挚和踏实。爱情总是盲目的,正是这种盲目,成就了天下无数幸福的婚姻,也造成了无数女人终生的悔恨。女人的天生重情,使她们注定要在一个强大的男人社会,因为非正常的感情而付出远比男人高昂的代价。

何处是女人婚外情的归路?阿德里安•莱恩“外遇三部曲”之一的《不忠》,可以当作一个特色注解。有着中产生活、优秀丈夫和八岁儿子的妻子康妮,在一个大风天意外邂逅了一位充满异域风情的青年男子,很快陷入情网,一边尽情的享受危险而刺激的感情游戏,一方面让悔恨和愧疚吞噬自己。丈夫爱德华觉察出端倪后,雇用私人侦探跟踪康妮,终于发现了事实真相。他私下约见了他的情敌,将他杀死后毁尸灭迹。警方发现了尸体,上他们家调查案情,康妮也渐渐知道了这一切,她努力想回归家庭,于是与爱德华一道默契地隐瞒杀人事实。

影片结尾的镜头是,深夜,他们开车行驶在一条寂静的马路上,路口是红灯,他们停了下来。孩子已在后座上熟睡,康妮和爱德华轻声交谈着,决定逃离这个国家。终于,他们彼此宽恕,拥抱热吻,早忘了路边就是警察局,早忘了路口的红灯,已变成绿灯。

mywonderland 发表评论于
Hope you can come here to meet with me soon. This call from my heart, could you feel it? Miss you, miss you, the weekend is so long. But anyway, I cannot blem you because you did not know this new space. I deeply know all your love is belong to them. Perhps there are only a little corner is for me in your heart. Even that I am not regret, I might refuse this choice, but I accepted this.
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