One night, about three months ago, I had a weird dream.
I had my baby, but cannot remember who gave birth to the baby. I held the baby, too thrilled that I forgot to find out it’s a boy or girl. With me were my best friend and his wife who told me it’s a baby girl. “Yeah, right” I thought to myself, a bit unreconciled, “all the things happened as predicted”. But the joy and excitement of being a Daddy overwhelmed any other thoughts and feelings.
Then, there came the sort of grand party or ceremony on the top of a hill. It was evening time. Hundreds of people from the village gathered in the playground-like area, surrounded by dark blurred trees. I don’t know where the dim light comes from – maybe the moon. A van stopped at the middle of the crowd who yield some space, a circle of 10 square meters or so, waiting for me to get my baby girl out of the van. The door opened, and I saw my baby, in a cradle, sitting in the driver’s seat. Just when I was about to move forward to her, suddenly some people jumped ahead of me approaching my baby at a lightning speed. Then they started fighting right beside the driver’s seat.
While I was in a panic, someone (I don’t know who) grabbed the cradle and handed me my baby girl. I held her tight in my arms and dodged back-and-forth in the crowd which had become a big mess. The baby girl, sleeping in peace, knew nothing about what happened.
The next scene was at the front of a townhouse (not sure if it’s my house). My baby girl has grown into a lovely 3- or 4-years-old, with big shining eyes and a cute bouncy hair style. Standing beside me, she was smiling like an angel. And I looked into her with deep love in my heart.
At this moment, my best friend and his wife walked out of the front door with another new born (a bit vague here, not very sure). My friend, a bit bending over when he walked out in a slower pace than normal, had a tired expression in his face and much more white short hair over his head. I felt sad, sighing how fast time has gone by. All of a sudden, I looked at my girl, and I shouted to myself: “Where has her Mom been all over these years?”
My friend’s wife, without much change in her look, stared at me for a second without a word. But I read from that expression: “Shut up. Regardless, it’s not us who gave birth to your daughter!” I stood there, speechless.
Then I woke up, with this sad and painful feeling striking through my heart and my body. I was thinking: have I wasted too much time of my life pursuing something meaningless?
[CD后记]：一向记不清楚自己做的梦，从来没有养育过子女，却做了而且记下了如此的一个怪梦。冥冥之中觉得这是生活或是潜意识想要传达给我的一个重要信息。然而苦思冥想了几个月也没有解开这个谜，甚至跟梦中出现的好友的妻子专题交流也未寻出个端倪。不知道你是不是解梦高手，或许可以指点迷津？
