另类“望子成龙”
Alternative Great Expectations
刚刚读完多伦多作家David Gilmour的《电影俱乐部》“The Film Club”。书中讲述了作者和他儿子一起度过的三年难忘岁月。
I just finished a book called The Film Club by a
Jesse 是作者和他前妻 Maggie 的儿子，父母离婚后他和妈妈住在一起。“他本性善良而高傲，不愿意做他不感兴趣的任何事情，即使他知道这会给他带来什么后果。” Maggie 觉得 Jesse 的生活里如果有个男人可能会改变这种状况，于是让 David 与他的现任妻子 Tina 和 Jesse 住到了一起。但这并没有使事情好转， Jesse 仍旧不做作业，逃学。有一天父亲让当时十六岁的儿子仔细想一想他到底还要不要上学。三天之后 Jesse 说他再也不想上学了。父亲听后心里一沉，但还是同意了儿子的决定，不过提出了他一个条件：你可以不上学，不工作，不付房租，但必须每周看三个由我选择的电影。 Jesse 喜出望外，立即答应。
Jesse was the author and his ex-wife Maggie's son, who lived with his mother after his parents divorced. “He was a sweet-natured boy, very proud, who seemed incapable of doing anything he wasn’t interested in, no matter how much the consequences worried him.”
Maggie thought if there’s a man in his life, the situation would be changed. So David and his wife Tina moved in with Jesse. But nothing improved, even when Jesse was sent to a private school, he still didn’t do his homework and skipped classes. One day the father let his sixteen-year-old son to think about whether or not he wanted to go to school anymore. After three days, Jesse made a decision of not going to school. David’s stomach fluttered, but he agreed and told Jesse that he wouldn’t have to work, he could sleep for the whole day, he wouldn’t have to pay the rent, and couldn’t use drugs. But there’s one thing he must do: he must watch three films every week with him, the films chosen by him. Jesse almost couldn’t believe this unconventional deal.
于是父子俩开始了他们长达三年的 “ 电影俱乐部 ” 。作者本人曾是个专栏作家，影评家，主持过采访名人的电视节目，做过电视记录片。他根据自己几十年的生活工作经历，精心挑选了他认为是电影史上最好的一些电影和儿子一起观看。虽然有些他觉得非常优秀的电影在 Jesse 那里并没有得到如期的共鸣，但对电影的探讨促使他们展开了一次又一次父子之间的诚挚对话。他们不仅谈电影，谈角色，谈表演，还不可避免地谈现实，谈青春，谈性，谈爱情，谈工作， 谈钱，谈人生。
So the father and son started their three-years-long Film Club. David had been a film critic for CBC television, an author, and once hosted TV and radio interviews with publicities and documentary programs. He carefully chose best and proper movies (at least he thought so) for Jesse and watched them together with him. Although for some films, Jesse didn’t see what David had seen and had not been as impressed as David expected. However, movies did open their discussions, honest discussions about the reality, youth, sex, girls, friendship, work, money and life.
在这三年之中， Jesse 先是无所事事，后来做过电话市场推销员。第一次是为一个诈骗公司推销一份根本不存在的所谓《救火队员》杂志，而后是向美国南部的贫困家庭推销信用卡。后来他在餐馆洗过碗 - 正当做父亲的觉得他不会将这种低收入的苦工做长的时候，他被提升为见习厨师。 Jesse 还经历了让他幸福，迷茫，伤心欲绝的两次恋爱。在他痛苦万分的时候不仅以酒浇愁，更试过用毒品来麻醉自己，有一次用后由于心跳过速而进了医院。他还迷上了音乐，和朋友一起建起了一个名为 “ 腐败的怀旧 ”“CORRUPTED NOSTALGIA” 的小乐队，自写自唱。
At the beginning of this three year period, Jesse didn’t do anything. Then he got jobs in telemarketing, first for a company promoting an nonexistent magazine “Fireman”, and then for another company selling credit cards to poor families in the deep south of US. After that he washed dishes in a local restaurant, and just when the father doubted how long he could endure low-paying jobs and drudgery, he was promoted to be a prep chef.
Jesse also experienced two love affairs which resembled sitting on a emotional rollercoaster which sent him to the peak of happiness and then to the bottom of deepest agony and misery. He tried to numb his pain by alcohol and even drugs. One overdose sent him to emergency room with a fast heart beat. Jesse always liked music, he and his friends built up a band called “Corrupted Nostalgia”, they performed songs written by themselves.
而 David 在这段期间则遭遇了没有新工作合约，经济窘迫，到处求职而不得，甚至还有曾想做一个自行车快递都被拒绝的经历。而最使他不安的是他总是在怀疑自己当初同意儿子退学的决定是否正确，是否会断送了他的一生。在和儿子的交往中也使他常常反省自己。但同时他又感受到了和儿子的关系越来越亲密，牢固，超出了一般的父子关系。他能立即感受到 Jesse 的点滴变化， 他发现 “Jesse 已经可以做他不喜欢但又应该做的事，并能把它做好。 ”
For David, it was a difficult time too. He didn’t get any new contracts and was at the brink of bankruptcy. He contacted old friends and colleagues to let them know that he was looking for job. Once he even tried to apply for a bike courier position, but never got a response. The intense and constant worry that continually bothered him was his decision to let Jesse drop out of school, he was afraid that this may destroy Jesse’s future. He was often self-questioning, not only for Jesse’s sake, but also for his own. But in the meantime he could feel that the bond between him and Jesse became stronger and their relationship was beyond father and son. He could feel any slight changes in Jesse immediately, and also found that “when Jesse had to do, he could do even shittiest job and make a go of it”.
在父亲的帮助下，在现实生活的磨砺中，在看过的电影的有意无意的丝丝渗入之下， Jesse 慢慢地从一个爱闹事的少年成长为一个有主见的年轻人。他展现了他的音乐才能，把自己的感情写到歌里去。爱情让他受伤但也让他成长，他对爱情依然纯真。他对电影的知识和自身的理解使他成为一个很不错的业余评论家（ David 为了奖赏他对电影的深刻理解，精辟评价和丰富的知识，曾请他在一家高级餐厅里吃晚饭），知识面也相对扩大，他的历史文学水平也都有所提高。三年后他终于觉得自己需要有系统地学习，需要新的知识来充实自己。他做出了重返学校的决定，废寝忘食地恶补了几个月后终于进入了大学，开始了他人生的一个新的历程。
With his father’s help, milled by life and maybe unconsciously influenced by the movies he had watched, Jesse gradually from a wayward lad grew up to be a self-assured young man. He showed his musical talent by pouring his feelings into the songs he was writing. Love had hurt him but also matured him, he still believed in true love. He accumulated rich knowledge of films and his comments were so pinpointed that David rewarded him with a dinner at an expensive restaurant. Movies had also improved his historical and literary knowledge. Three years later, he realized that he needed a systematic study, he needed knowledge to enrich himself. So he made another decision – to go back to school. He signed on a “punishing” three-month crash course and worked hard day and night. Finally, he made it, he entered a university and opened a new chapter of his life.
每一位家长都希望自己的孩子能够在生活中获得成功，而作者这种与东方传统教育习惯方式大相径庭的做法真使我出乎意料。在读书过程中，我一边庆幸自己没有这么叛逆的孩子，一边又半怀疑半佩服作者的大胆做法。他的耐心，他的循循善诱，他对儿子的开放程度都很超出我的想象，也是我所不及的。
Every parent longs for their child to have a successful life. The author’s educational methods to his son is almost opposite to the Eastern way, which really was beyond my expectations. When I read it, I felt so blessed that I don’t have such a rebellious child and meanwhile I doubted but also admired the author’s brave decision. His patience, instructive teaching and openness totally surprised me, and I did learn something from him.
这是一本非常纪实，坦白的书，就像作者和他儿子之间的谈话一样。作者毫不掩饰地展示了 Jesse 在成长过程中所经历的一切 - 青春的燥动，对异性的认知，对自我价值的承认和否定，以及对未来的迷茫。在对 Jesse 的观察，帮助，引导过程中也映射了作者本人的人生观和心路历程。
This is an honest and frank book, just like the conversations between the father and son. The author revealed everything Jesse encountered during his transformation: adolescent turmoil, feelings towards girls, self-judgment and confusions about the future. It also reflected the author’s own views and insight through his observing and guiding of Jesse.
作者不愧是个资深撰稿人及评论家，文字简练，凝重而又不失诙谐，对电影的评价，对人物描述往往是一针见血。他在写到作为父亲看到儿子因恋爱而受伤却无能为力只能旁观时的心痛，让读者感觉身临其境，深切体会到了他对儿子的爱。
The author is a really experienced writer and critic. His words are simple, imposing and with humor. His film’s comments and character descriptions are pleasantly concise. His own desperate pain when he saw Jesse hurt by love, but being unable to provide comfort grabs the reader’s heart. His love to Jesse was exposed vividly and completely.
作者在书中介绍了大量的优秀电影，演员和导演。遗憾的是我只看过其中少数的几个。
The book also introduced a lot of excellent movies, but unfortunately I have only seen few.
这是我今年看过的非小说类书中最引人入胜的一本。
It is a page-turner and is the most attractive non-fiction book I’ve read this year.
