外公的善终

人生如戏。 儿时和家人看越剧, 老想凑在前排。 如今,身在局中,时时台上互动, 场景虽易,戏文依然一样精彩。 所有故事及人与事,皆为虚构,切勿对号入座。
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在 BC 公共卫生局工作的道友来电,邀我在他们发起的网络请愿书上签名。说的是 UBC 周围有一群国人在阻扰 UBC 善终中心的建立。其表面理由是为维护中国及亚洲文化的阴阳不相邻之说,本质实为担忧其所拥物业的市价。

这使我回忆起 N 年前,外公在杭州老家过世前后的情景。外公在 80 大寿之际,要求儿孙们为他特制一副棺木。那时是属于要“偷偷摸摸”做的事,不能让居委会知道。半夜三更,家人从外地运来一副棺木,在老人的亲自督查下悄悄地抬进家门。现在还记得外公当时抚摸着棺木时那种心满意足的神态。全无任何阴阳不相邻的忌讳。

几年后,外公身体渐渐不支,终于卧床不起。去世之前,他要家人将他的病榻移至石库门墙院的中厅,这样他可以日夜不离家人的陪伴。临终前后的几日,全家老少从各地赶来。前后厢房住满了人,至今还记得与平日难得一遇的表兄弟表姐妹,在外公床榻前戏耍。老人家那时已是处于弥留之际,但只要一听到孙儿们追逐的脚步和嬉闹的声音,他的嘴角总是会泛起安祥的笑意。

外公去世之后,家人在墙门院里摆开了一天的豆腐饭宴请邻舍,说是做白喜。这是我所经历的第一个善终场面。

随着现代社会的发展,人们的生老病死也渐渐地被医学化。越来越多的人无法在自己家中平平安安地走完人生的最后一程。许多人则是全身插满了塑料管,敞开着无数的伤口,在 ICU 器械的吵闹声与 Alarm 灯的闪烁中,辞去辛劳的一生。对比外公的善终,毫无尊严安详可言。这种现象中外皆同。

六十年代初,英国的 Cicely Saunders 首创第一间善终中心 St. Christopher Hospice ,提供一项专门照顾临终病人的医疗服务。由此渐渐演变成当今社会的善终服务运动 Hospice Movement 。善终 服务 运动希望改变社会大众否认死亡的态度,改善对垂死病人的照顾,减轻病人临终时孤独及无助的感觉,为现代社会带来一个新的死亡方式 - 病人在最后一段日子中活得积极完满,并能安详及舒适地逝去 。

每一个生命都有起点与终点。这两个点需要社会同等的关怀与 扶植,古今中外毫无例外。我们在人生终点时的选择有限:要么在无怨无悔中安详仙逝,要么在苦苦挣扎中死不瞑目。

既然已无法痊愈或延长生命,则应为病人减轻痛苦,提高生命的素质。然而在这个崇尚功利的社会里,病人的权益与为人的尊严常常要面对来自金钱等等的挑战:有世俗的无知及偏见;有对死亡的莫名恐惧,以及对生命的冷漠与拒绝。从医多年以来,最为揪心的便是看着病人在孤独中愤然离世,无亲人相伴。

古人云:“ 一曰寿、二曰富、三曰康宁、四曰攸好德、五曰考终命 ”。说的便是国人对福的最早注解。这也是后来人们常常挂在口中的五福临门。可惜的是太多人混然不知这五福指的就是“长寿 , 富贵,康宁,好德,善终”。其中以善终为大。衷心希望那些以维护中华文化为名的业主们能好好地读些书,从而达理。五福之中缺一不得。合起来才是美满人生。好德更是要紧。因为德乃是福之根本,福则是德之结果。乐善好施,广结因缘方可养育其他四福。祝五福惠临好人一生。

行笔至此,赶紧登陆道友所言及的声援网站,签上大名。只盼五福普照世人,中外不分。

声援网站 : http://www.gopetition.com/peti tion/42041.html.

Just a few words to follow up :

Anyone can vote for or against anything they want. This is a free country. What the condo owner did wrong was to evoke the sensitivity surrounding the word culture. They are also wrong to use culture as a disguise for their worry of perceived financial loss, and perhaps their fear of death. What really lies in the center of the issue is their believe system that is so out of sync with prevailing Canadian’s view on life and death. By citing cultural differences as their objection to a noble and humanitarian movement, they are destined to fail in the court of public opinion right at the onset. In doing so, they have over generalized they own point of view to the entire culture, that is the Chinese/Asian culture.

It is fairly OK to say no to the Hospice for any reason you can come up with, be it the money or obstructing your view, etc ; but not one that will tint the very culture they want to inherit and preserve. And, on that note, they do not even understand the thousands of years of cultural practices of death and dying in China, never mind the Hospice culture in Canada. The lesson for the condo owners: you need to learn what you are going up against, do some home work before you start an argument.
sofie 发表评论于
Very nice post! Thank you!!
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