1 英文歌曲名称的天才翻译
见光死、鬼压床、脑溢血，这些英文歌曲名的中文翻译，是不是看着觉得很不靠谱？那你觉得"羊杂碎乐队"、"你二乐队""天线宝宝乐队"的翻译怎么样？快来看看这些相当有颠覆性的中文译名吧。
爱尔兰摇滚乐队The Cranberries的名曲Dying In the Sun：晒死/见光死
英国摇滚乐队The smiths的名字被翻译成：斯密斯夫妇
也是很有名的英国摇滚乐队placebo有一首歌Sleeping With The Ghosts，翻译成：鬼压床
酷玩乐队Coldplay 的 A rush of blood to the head：翻译成"脑溢血"
老牌英伦摇滚乐队Suede，中文译名一直是"山羊皮乐队"，因为suede这个词本身有"山羊皮"的意思，有山寨译法将Suede翻译成"碎的"，于是：山羊皮+碎的=羊杂碎，羊杂碎乐队闪亮登场了！
苏格兰乐队Travis的一张专辑名称The Man Who：翻译成"这男的谁"
经典英国摇滚乐队Radiohead，其名称也有有多种译法：电台司令，喇叭头子，收音机脑袋，最离谱的一个是"天线宝宝"
英格兰乐队Embrace 的一首歌My weakness is none of your business：翻译成"我虚关你屁事"
爱尔兰民谣歌手Damien Rice的名字被翻译成：大米饭
美国摇滚乐队Maroon 5的官方中文译名是魔力红，然而有人将其翻译成："马龙五兄弟"，或者"马老五"
大名鼎鼎的U2乐队不用多说了，有人将其名字翻译成：你二(确实，从字面上看，U2还真是这个意思……)
美国著名摇滚乐队"枪花"Guns N'Roses，其名称被音译为：钢丝和螺丝
伦敦街头乐队Hard-Fi有张专辑名为Stars On CCTV，被翻译成：央视群星
美国摇滚乐队Green Day的标准译名是绿日，这个似乎已经公认了，然而还是有人独辟蹊径，将其翻译成：青葱岁月(好浓的校园民谣味……)
被誉为美国摇滚乐队鼻祖的Velvet Underground乐队，主唱Lou Reed的名字被翻译成：老李
2002年开始迅速走红的英国摇滚乐队Arctic Monkeys，北极猴子，有一首歌名为Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not，被翻译成简洁明了的三个字：就是拽
美国大为流行的摇滚乐团Yeah Yeah Yeahs，名字被翻译成：噎……噎……噎死。
2 I can't let him get away不能让他跑了
A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."
"Oh, honey, “he replied, "I can't drink that much every day."
一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走，而不是横着走。哇！她想，这只雄蟹可真特别，我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。
第二天，她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了？”她问，“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。”
“哦，宝贝，”他回答说，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”
3 Clever and Peace聪明与和平
Once God came up to me and granted me a wish.
I asked for world peace. That's impossible, he said.
Then I asked him to give me brains. He said, Let me try world peace.
有一次上帝来到我面前答应了我一个愿望。
我说我要世界和平。“那是不可能的”他说。
然后我请让我变聪明。他说：“你还是让我试试让世界和平吧。”
4 Parrot鹦鹉
There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There were three parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, "How come this guy is $5,000? That's so expensive for this kind of parrot." The owner said, "Because I have trained him and he can talk." So the customer asked him, "How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?" The owner said, "Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions, like dancing and so on. That's why he's so expensive." Then the customer said, "How about the third one? What can he do that makes him so expensive?" The owner of the shop said, "I don't know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him 'The Boss.'"
老板最大有个人到一间商店买鹦鹉。店里有三只鹦鹉，其中一只卖五千元，另一只卖一万元，还有一只卖三万元。顾客问老板：「为什么这只要卖五千元？这个价钱对这种鹦鹉来说太贵了！」老板说：「因为我有训练他讲话。」顾客又问：「那这只呢？他会做什么？为什么要卖这么贵？」老板说：「他除了会说话之外，还会表演一些有趣的动作，好比说跳舞等等，所以才卖这么贵。」顾客接着又问：「那第三只呢？他会做什么？为什么要卖这么贵？」老板说：「我不知道。我从没听过他讲话、吹口哨或唱歌，也没看过他跳舞，什么都没有！不过另外两只叫他：『老板！』」
5 Evolution进化论
The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. Then he started again, and said he: "Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"
"I'll venture an answer,” said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.”
教进化论的老师已经滔滔不绝地讲了快两个小时，他的话题又来了："让我向进化论者提个问题--如果我们曾经像狒狒那样长着尾巴，那么现在尾巴到哪里去了？"
"我来试试看，"一位老太太说。
"该是我们在这里坐这么久把它们磨掉了吧。"
6 Charge收费
"I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth.”
"Twenty dollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!"
"Yes，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office."
"对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。"
"20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。"
"是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。"
