五律 月夜秋叶

西木人

西木人
青山依旧，几度夕阳。
见微知著，和尘同光。
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凉夜月如钩，清辉遍地流。
霜凝草入梦，风起叶知秋。
绕树纷纷落，携光片片收。
来年中元夜，再聚树梢头。

西木人 发表评论于
回复 'WriteItOut' 的评论 : 谢谢点评建议
WriteItOut 发表评论于
与作者学习商榷，试改一句:将绕树纷纷落一句改为“无声纷纷落”以与携光对仗得更好。谢谢分享。
酒后真言 发表评论于
改好了：）
西木人 发表评论于
因上首页，无法在博客里修改，在这里改一下：

凉夜月如钩，清辉遍地流。霜凝花入梦，风起叶知秋。
绕树纷纷落，携光片片收。来年明月夜，再聚树梢头。
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