体会穿梭在两种文字中的乐趣--旧文英译

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BLUE HERON又出现在那入池塘。不过这次它在水中行走着,从塘中的朽木处一直缓缓地走到了塘另一边靠近塘岸的地方。我也随着它小心地挪动着脚步,生怕惊扰到它,让它因恐惧惊慌而被迫离开。尽管我倍加小心,但因为总想近点再近点,于是惊到了它。它就像一只翼龙一样,穿过林塘,消失在塘边的树木间。

In the pond, I saw blue heron again. Different from yesterday’s standing still, this time he/she was walking slowly in the shallow water, from the rotten wood in one side to the water shore in another side.

 

 I moved my feet accordingly, gently, trying to avoid making any noises. For a second, thinking my existence might make her/him feel insecure, or being bothered since this bird’s solitary feature, I blamed myself. But I was weak, I couldn’t stop my attempt of observing her/him. It might be an addiction, but comparing with so many addictions, it is not that bad. I will try my best to be careful. But I have to admit my greed. When I was trying to approach a little bit more, he/she flew away like a dinosaur

 

月见草是这个时期最能引起我兴奋的野花。这源于它那如柠檬一般清丽的淡黄色,娇美的花朵,沁人的甜香。垂柳下的那处溪塘,久久不见,塘水几近见底,塘围的棕褐色石块被晒出了两道线。而它对面的那片空场上,却现出秋的葱茏。野花FLEABANE, PRIMROSE, 一片新生的黄绿色一直延伸到远处的林缘。

穿过儿童游乐场前的那片草地。望着斑驳焦黄的草地,想起了那个雨后的清晨,我所见到的那一方方肉粉色的草块。我想:风景年年有,年年各不同。我有点不理解此说法。若来年的天气和今年类似,风景是否应该也是一样的。

 

贴着游乐场边的灌木从边走。这里聚生了紫茎的泽兰,向着公园往家走。灌木白海棠的叶子稀落得像是处处破了大洞的棉絮。REDBUD, DOGWOOD, 那棵树下,黄橙的树叶落在地上,落出一片橙黄的圆形树荫。昨天的雨一下子让草坪返绿不少。近河岸边的小草葱茏,一片欣欣然。

 

晚上6:15出来,带儿子散步。路中下起了小雨。我在前,今 日的脚步特别的轻快。他落在后面十几米远外。我要时不时回头张望,看他是否跟着。小雨并未阻挡人们行进的脚步。入林前的草场,一日之间那棕黄的毛草使稀落得让我不敢相信,这是我昨日看到的树叶飘落的那个草场。看轻巧细小的黄色中国槐叶飘落时的样子,真像是观看一场现场自然演出,我给它命名为“树叶雨”。我想:初春的草木返青得有多快,初秋草木衰败的便有多快,还有“一场秋雨一场寒“。林里的地上,也在一日之间多了许多的落叶。头顶上,稀落的树梢间,黄绿,黄色,棕黄的树叶散布于绿叶当中。

Me and my son were having an after-dinner walk when the shower came. I speeded up, leaving him ten meters behind me. Occasionally I stopped to check him, making sure he was in my sight, just as I did when he was a little boy.  People seemed not being bothered by the shower, nobody ran, everybody kept the same pace.

 

In the pasture outside the wood, the dramatic changes left me a gasp. Just in one day, it turned too thin to be recognized. Yesterday I stood here, watching the delicate yellow leaves falling from a Chinese locust. That’s a beautiful live show about nature. I named it “leaves shower”.  The seasons change quickly. How fast the grasses turns to green in early spring, then how quick they will turn to brown or yellow in early fall.

 

In the wood, there lied much more leaves on the walking trail. Above my head, yellowish green, yellow, brownish yellow…these colorful leaves dotted in green leaves… Nature likes a non stop loom…so true.

  2020年8月

魏薇 发表评论于
回复 '暖冬cool夏' 的评论 : Oh,Thank you,my friend!Indeed I felt my progress in English-writting. I didn't feel that struggling as I did half year ago which made me so happy. 如果说努力,我觉得我算不上在。一天到晚要上班,走路,买菜,做饭,打扫卫生,留给学习的时间很有限。但我坚持每天读或写1-2小时。需要放下心来,潜心感觉,这样才能找到合适的表达方式和合式的用词,这是我的体会。得到老师的夸赞很高兴,继续龟速前进,继续体会穿梭的乐趣。

“大自然像台永不停息的织布机”,这是我从你那学的。谢谢老师更正!:)
暖冬cool夏 发表评论于
Overall, you did a good job in the translation. I saw great progress in your English writing, and you have been putting so much effort on it!
"Nature likes a non stop loom." (喜欢)
Do you mean that "Nature is like a non-stop loom." (像)
魏薇 发表评论于
回复 '牟山雁' 的评论 : 噢,也和你分享一下我和美国邻居的一次谈话。有一次我拿写的一断小文给她看。她说我不会改你用的词,除非是有语法错语。因为改了就不是你的语言了。我很同意她的说法。她因为退休了没事干,所以喜欢我拿给她看。你完全不应该为此感到羞愧,我们的母语是中文,别人理解。
魏薇 发表评论于
回复 '牟山雁' 的评论 :谢谢你的分享!我写了差不多五六个月。我是写着好玩的,高兴,也学习,同时也是一种让西方人了解我们的渠道:)我明白你所说的,我的目标只是让自己读起来顺,和高端的专业人士肯定不一样。
牟山雁 发表评论于
不知博主英文寫作有多久了?對母語非英語的人來説,要寫地道的英文真不易。我寫了24年了,英文書也出了幾本,但在出版前仍需英語是母語的人通讀、糾錯。我時時覺得羞愧,但哈佛的漢學泰斗、荷蘭教授伊維德告訴我,他跟我一樣,儘管他出的書已好幾十本了。
魏薇 发表评论于
回复 '格利' 的评论 : 你的名字一下会让我联想到思想家,我感觉太不敢当了:)
格利 发表评论于
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