一个要好的同事昨天上午给我发了个卫星预报图（见下），因为本人的智商极地，根本就不懂上面说了点什么，还以为是属于她经常发的一种笑话，于是假么假式地回了邮件说： this is serious! 。到了下午不到 5 点，有个同事跑进我的办公室说：我不想吓唬你，但是听说突尼斯南方来了一股特大风暴，已经造成了不少损失，大部分人都回家了，你也快点走吧。我一向珍惜生命，所以二话不说，收拾东西，风紧扯呼，顺带还让门口的两个帮我们干活的当地小姑娘撤了。
回家的路上，车连车，车挤车，大家都非常紧迫地向家的方向奔，或至少我认为是向家的方向走。我艰难地在突尼斯的车海中左右躲闪，欲杀出一条血路。远方深青的云已经沉沉地压了下来，这边太阳光还微弱地照着，似乎在做最后的抵抗；风大了起来，吹得我的小车有点左右摇晃。我不确定到底是开着车窗好，还是关上。脑子突然很文学地来了句：山雨欲来风满楼。不免有点洋洋自得，在这自救的时刻，还可以想起古诗词。转念之间又不肯定自己是否正确了：到底是“山雨欲来风满楼”，还是“风雨欲来山满楼”？人们常说“人是铁饭是钢。。。”，但是大学时有个能吃的朋友就坚决不同意，而且一口咬定大家误传了，正确的说法是“人是饭，铁是钢”。因为我从来分不清铁和钢的关系，所以我的反驳总是虚弱无力的。时间久了，自己也分不清到底那个是‘正确’的说法了。
类似的情况举不胜举，如左和右。上小学时分不清那个是那个，大姐教我：“左工，右口”。记了好多年之到现在还这么用。英语的 left and right 使我的生活更加复杂；真正让我绝望的法语的加入， gauche et droit 。特别是在给突尼斯的出租车司机指路时，我要先想左工右口，同时伸出左右两条胳膊，确定那条是左、那条是右；再翻译成英语，再翻译成法语。出租车司机常常没有耐心等我作完这些程序，就一边开，一边转过来问我： madame, a droit ou a gauche? 他们这么着急绝对是与事无补，只能使我在慌乱中指错方向，或象白痴一样发呆。在单位，要好的同事久之都知道我不分左右，来家里吃饭时，从来都不问我怎么走，都去问那些住在我附近的人，或曾经来过的人。最深受我害的老公。给我指路时，不能用左右，也不能用东西南北，在着急的时候更不能和我急，不能问候双方的老人，偏偏我还气急败坏地指责他说的不清楚。等儿子稍微大一点了，老公就完全放弃给我做任何解释了，直接告诉儿子方向，由儿子指挥我勇往直前。人家是穷人的孩子早当家，我家是笨蛋的孩子早当家。
最可笑的这大风暴到底也没有来。今天早上阳光灿烂，秋风徐徐，我穿上漂亮的套装和在伦敦才买的时装鞋来到单位．还没有熬到中午呢，就发先外面已经天黑了，走到窗前发现外面已经是一片汪洋大海了，想起中午 Security Office 才发的警告，不知道自己到底在那里比较安全。原来警告是真的呀。
（写于 2009 年 10 月）
Flooding & Thunderstorms
If there’s a storm approaching, you should:
Go inside! If you can’t make it to a house or a nearby building, stay in your car and roll your windows up. If you’re not by a car, try to stay as low to the ground as possible. Avoid trees, fences, poles, or any other tall objects.
Avoid water. Do NOT take a bath or shower during a thunderstorm. Try not to turn on your water faucets and stay away from your sinks. Electricity, which comes from lightning, travels fast in water and in pipes.
Turn off your major appliances like your TV and air conditioner. Also avoid using a telephone, unless it is an emergency. Lightning travels fast in wires.
When flooding happens, here’s what you should do:
Go to higher ground immediately.
Do NOT try to drive through water, even if it’s not moving. You car can easily get swept away.
Before a flood happens, make sure you’re ready:
Do NOT keep valuable items and appliances in your basement. They could get ruined during a flood.
Have flood insurance.
Make sure your fuse box (or main breaker) and utility meters are raised above the flood level in your home. Water and electricity don’t mix.
Tornadoes
What is a tornado?
A tornado is funnel-shaped air that is formed by clouds coming into contact with the ground. This funnel is spinning violently, with winds at speeds of up to 300 miles per hour! For this reason, tornadoes can cause a lot of damage, injury, or death. They can even pick up a car or a house!
A tornado is caused by a severe thunderstorm. If there is a thunderstorm in your area, listen to the radio to find out if there’s a tornado watch or warning. There also might be an emergency service announcement in your area.
If there is a tornado watch, you should:
Listen to your local radio stations or watch your local news to find out more.
Stay alert. Keep your eyes and ears open for strong winds, blowing debris, and other signs that a tornado is coming.
Protect windows and glass in your house. If you have storm shutters, use them. Otherwise, you can use wood to board up your windows.
When there’s a tornado warning and a tornado is striking your area, here are some things you should do:
Find shelter. Go to your basement. If you don’t have a basement, go to the lowest point of your house or go to a room or hallway that doesn’t have windows. As a last resort, get under heavy furniture and stay away from windows. If you’re outside and can’t find shelter, try to find the lowest point in the ground, such as a ditch.
If you are told to evacuate, do so immediately .
