爪父替女选美记

前言：闺女前几天申请大学的 ED 被哥伦比亚大学“政治正确”掉。输给优秀的老中的孩子我无话可说，但被一个从 SAT 到 GPA 到才艺到领导力到参与社区活动社会活动都与闺女差了十万八千里的非亚裔的 LGBT 同性恋女孩挤掉，我实在是怒发冲冠，怒爪冲鞋！这个 LGBT 同性恋女孩为迎合藤校白左的口味，在 essay 中把自己包装成“穷苦人”...嘿嘿，穷人的孩子居然从小有 private tutor?！穷人的孩子居然住在美国最富的 county 之一?！give me a break！ 总而言之，言而总之，闺女除了学习甩下那个非亚裔同性恋几条街，还拿过古筝国际大赛金奖，在卡耐基音乐厅表演过数次；画作被收入美国全国性的青少年杂志中；为中乐团谱曲；写网络小说；代表俱乐部参加 national level 的排球大赛；中文学校 $20/hr 的才艺课正式老师；闺女还是学生会主席，学校艺术协会的主席。几周前刚刚筹划邀请ALS患者 Lindsay 来校演讲做画，非常感人的事迹上了新州新闻（见备注，应闺女请求，宣传一下Lindsay 的正能量）；闺女还是中乐团 first chair，还有即将发表的 scientific research paper，参加过的社区活动义工活动更是数不胜数...但是，但是，但是，所有这些所谓的华人孩子的accomplishments，在一个把自己包装成“穷人”的非亚裔的LGBT面前，简直是不堪一击。由于闺女学校不是哥大的 legacy 学校，每年哥大最多从女儿学校招一个学生，几十年来一向如此。所以招了那个“穷苦”的 LGBT，就没俺闺女啥事儿了。闺女得到的通知都不是 defer，而是 reject！ 一位多年从事美国大学录取的老中看到我的文章后，私信我说：哥大是 LGBT 的旗帜学校，招了那个 LGBT，你女儿的申请材料估计哥大根本看都没看，就直接 reject 掉。未去成哥大，不是坏事。条条大路通罗马，do not worry。 还有很多朋友好言相劝，让闺女把 essay “改编”得更适合藤校白左口味。但在原则问题上，四嫂与闺女与我意见是一致的：凭真本事申请学校，不夸张，更不会撒谎，绝不为爬藤而投机取巧出卖良心。天涯何处无芳草，是金子总会发光。 艾玛，俺在这啰里啰嗦，絮絮叨叨，都快成祥林嫂了。俺闺女已经 get over it，已经 move on，几天前就翻篇儿了。俺这个四爪爹也需要翻篇儿了哈哈。好好好，咱们现在就言归正传，讲讲爪父替闺女选美的故事吧。 几月前闺女参加北美“天生我才”总决赛时，被一资深从事选美及选模特的女前辈看中，极力撺掇闺女去试试水。我对此毫无兴趣...劝戒女儿鞍马劳顿太辛苦（translation：参加模特大赛与选美实在是太贵了哈哈）。但四嫂却鼓励女儿去试试看，说是提高女儿综合素养的又一不可多得的机会。为此还专门去北美新天地艺术中心照了一组艺术照，这是其中几张...    12月初的时候，闺女收到这位女前辈的电话，邀请闺女参加十二月下旬在广州举行的世界华裔小姐选美大赛，包食宿包机票。闺女若上周拿到哥大的 ED，时间上还来得及，可以回国参加选美大赛。但艾玛一声偶滴天，闺女的 ED 被哥大”政治正确”了！现在要准备其它学校的 RD 申请，中国行就此泡汤。可是..可是..可是，包食包住包机票，这么好的机会错过了太可惜了！于是我这个财迷爹自告奋勇，问女前辈我能否男扮女装去参赛。古有花木兰替父去从军，今有爪四哥替女去选美！ 女前辈听后笑着说：好吧，先看看爪哥的男扮女装的定装照。 我二活没说，兴冲冲给她传过去爪哥男扮女装的肥四姐的照片 女前辈看后笑着说：艾玛，这个去参加搞笑大赛准行，但选美大赛不合适哈哈。 我一听，肥四姐不行，俺还能扮女八路叻。英姿飒爽，绝对够资格吧？ 女前辈看后笑道：不错不错，可惜三观不正，咋是歪头呀，哈哈哈哈。 我一听这个也不行?！于是眼珠一转，推出终极定装照：爪四姐 女前辈看后，认真地问我：这个真不错，但...是你吗？ 爪哥：当然啦！看她的两只爪，都是几个脚趾头？哈哈哈哈。   备注: The National Art Honor Society of XXX XXXX High School hosted Lindsay Abromaitis-Smith, a local artist with ALS (a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord). Lindsay was first diagnosed in August of 2012, and while her life and body have gone through many transformations, including paralysis of her torso and diminished control of her limbs and voice, she has found strength by continuing to paint with her feet and making meaningful, creative, and thought-provoking artwork. Smiling the whole night, Lindsay revealed her life story, from the time she spent in NYC as a puppeteer, to her travels all around the world, to her move back to XXXX county. She highlighted the multitude of emotions she experienced through her struggle -- frustration, gratitude, acceptance, and courage. She also delved into her connection to nature and how her spirituality has influenced her. While using her feet to paint and draw on stage, Lindsay explained the meaning of her artwork, the methodology she used, and the symbolic nature of the circular motif emphasized in many of her paintings. She revealed that she creates her own naturally pigmented paints to achieve the perfect color and consistency, as well as a precaution for safety on her skin. She also concluded on a humorous note, saying she greatly enjoys "squishing the paint between her toes." Towards the end of the night, Lindsay interacted with the audience by answering several questions, from simple ones like "What is your favorite color?" and "What music do you like to listen to?" to more complex questions like "How has your style changed over the years?" and "How have you changed your outlook on life since your diagnosis?" She responded with thoughtfulness and enthusiasm the whole time, despite the difficulties she has with speaking. Furthermore, she revealed what she was most grateful for: her family and friends who have supported on her journey through its ups and downs, its mountains and valleys. The whole event was put together by the combined efforts of the NAHS executive board members, several teachers, Lindsay's family members, and numerous NAHS members who greatly contributed in the set-up, the reception, and the various refreshments which were offered to the guests. Lindsay's entire presentation and painting session was projected live on a large screen, allowing the audience to establish a more intimate connection with her as they viewed both her artwork and her smile on a closer scale. Lindsay's positivity, strength, and inspirational messages will be remembered by XXX XXXX High School and its National Art Honor Society chapter. She has taught the audience about patience, gratitude, humor, and most of all--that it is sometimes okay to get a little messy. To learn more about Lindsay, visit http://alchemyofthesole.com/bio/ , https://www.artlifting.com/pages/shop-by-medium-original-art  and to donate: https://www.youcaring.com/lindsay-abromaitis-smith-549266 Submitted by XXX XXXX High School National Art Honor Society chapter. 女儿成为藤校政治正确的牺牲品 得瑟二下，美国中文电视为女儿制作的专题节目 得瑟一下，女儿荣获美国中文电视金奖 就顾着跟美女聊天，包肥居然没吃饱 吃货光临法拉盛，包肥店要惨了！ 逛新州雕塑圣地之一：更加鄙视奥巴马！ 爪哥段子：把新泽西州变共产主义实验田 忍无可忍，新州华人不再做哑裔！ 好莱坞的政治正确，magnificent! 与植物性交？登峰造极的美国白左！ 爪哥亲历记：反亚裔细分法没商量！ 为了子孙后代，向亚裔细分说不！