所以其实我不是用的 "eyes" picking out the poems with similar themes...
I am de/coding "DNA"....“微明”中。。。（其实很糊涂:）
“I like the DNA de/coding is because this kind of scientific discovery reveals the complexity of human body --- not soul/spirit, of course --- but to know human body [a universe in its own rights] is to appreciate Life, i think....
Aren't you amazed by how our body works? How, for example, the skin can heal itself from a cut/wound??”
作舟诗集 发表评论于
zf,
you have keen eyes picking out the poems with similar themes....your mèm´e-rê is amazing.....i too thought of putting such poems together .... thanx!!!
wx000,
trust me, when i see something solid, i know it! such as your translation!
very glad you joined the club :)
sd: "...Lately I have been very busy, no time to carefully read everything. However, as you all know, my heart is with you as always. :) "
“really solid Chinese foundation”？
说到中文水平，实在不敢当。在这里我是真正的小学生小读者。
感觉你们的文字很美，而且不仅仅停留于字面上。谢谢各位大师！
地中海人鱼 发表评论于
( a river / flowing through me / like childhood
Octaves dancing / on my soft / limbs
an eternal river / taking all my / sorrows / away
a thoughtful and penetrating work!!! beautiful and peaceful!
z.f. 发表评论于
sd, “…the heart, the intellect, or (more generally) the soul is susceptible…” :)
lz,你真是一个幸运儿，童年“柔软晶莹”:)
让我想起作舟的另一首诗：
“In My Dream, Father Is Defined by the Taste of Hills“
...
In my dream, childhood is defined
By the taste of bitterness
The sad house with sad
Furniture and sad relatives
Rearranging their sad lives
The girl reads the message
On the bitter wind
What’s lost in the past life
Has found its way back
...
I wish that I had more time to read all your feedbacks and gave you some feedbacks. Lately I have been very busy, no time to carefully read everything. However, as you all know, my heart is with you as always. :)
y.y. 发表评论于
a classical version!
wx000 发表评论于
zz, i fell "you" in your poem must be somebody very very important in one's life, or simply the eternity. so use "您". a wild guess. thanks for sharing!
you are a real poet.
z.f. 发表评论于
哇, wx000, 太棒了!!!
你的翻译有创化的意境，只是“您"非“你”...感觉别样...
...
晃若儿时
随音曼舞
用我稚嫩的
羽翼
...
很美妙...
...
永恒之川
带走我一切的
哀伤
最后一句很有气势...
真开心 wx000 来分享你的翻译...
z.z. 发表评论于
wow,
wx000, really nice!!!!
you must have had really solid Chinese foundation!!!!
Can you tell me why you chose "您" instead of "你"??
yes! this is what poetry is about!!! it is the central function of language!! even though many people don't know "poetry" when they are living in it, speaking it.....
thanks zf for the wonderful feedback!!
z.f. 发表评论于
"our mind is actually "restrained" by what we know in our first language...."
fully agree, even though it takes a lot of effort to break it since it's deeply rooted in us, it's worth of It . . . . destroying then creating, or creating is destroying :)
z.z. 发表评论于
in that sense, the purpose of poetry/art is much easier to be understood....
that is, to break through, to destroy the "frame".....
at least, that's what i think....
cheers!
y.y. 发表评论于
yes, our mind is framed :)
a poem has its own music in it . . .follow its melody . . .
z.z. 发表评论于
yy,
it's better!!
zf,
it's interesting for you to mention the "圆,无限,很流淌..."
it might have something to do with our sense of language [since English is not our first language]....
in writing Chinese, we are writing the way we were taught, or the stuff we have read in Chinese [school books, i.e.]....so, our mind is actually "restrained" by what we know in our first language....
z.f. 发表评论于
只因为题目“Memory”让我想起“Locus”，因为“Locus”里有问“What is memory?。。。”:)
I have had a good nap...thanks...
“i see that the line breaks in the poem provide different ways of phrasing in translation....really interesting!!!”
